I am posting in this topic although it's a mixed one. I would love to hear from those of you who had a similar experience and how you dealt with it.
So, ever since I have become a mum, I have been torn apart by the terrible guilt of working full time and being this horrible evil mother who only ever sees her children about 3 hours a day because, well - 1 hour commute+8 hours at work, not much time is left for playtime with mummy. My baby's reproachful and sad face when I was leaving her at the nursery. Her crying and clinging to my leg while I was trying to break free because I needed to catch my train otherwise I would be late for that meeting. My older DD spending all her afternoons in a "parking space for children" type of afterschool club.
Before you ask, I am in a career that requires me to be present on site so I could not ever work from home, and part-time jobs in my field are impossible - trust me, I tried. But apart from that, I really loved my job.
Long story short, an opportunity came for a slight career change where I would be still doing things related to my previous work but more on an administrative level, and would allow me to work from home, flexibility etc. I grabbed it of course! I am now working from home (and I would have been even if there was no Covid), I have all the flexibility, I still use childcare but far fewer hours and I have much more time for my kids.
But.
I just hate this stupid job so much!!!!!!!
I cannot tell you how much I miss my old work and how stupid and boring and pointless and useless my current role is. I suppose it is not completely pointless but it is utterly dull, unstimulating, the opposite of creative, and just really boring, boring, boring.
I already started to look for another job of course... Supposedly at some point I will find it... And will be back to my old guilt trip I just know it.
