Unemployed 9years - dh cheated help me.

[Jobseekerhelp]

Back story to this is I found out last year that my dh cheated. I need to put myself in a better position where I can be independent. So please any useful positive advice is welcome.

I haven’t worked in 9 years. I gave up my employment to move away from family and friends so that Dh could take a new job.

Since moving away I’ve become extremely isolated. Failed to make new friends and have lost contact with old friends back home. It’s taken a huge toll on my mental health. I don’t see or talk to anyone other than my kids or dh.

Dh works away from home 4-6 weeks at a time and when he’s not working away he works in the local office Mon-fri. So more often isn’t available to help look after the dc. However the dc’s school does have after school childcare.

All dc are now school age. If any job within school hours appears Ive been applying for it. So far it’s been cleaner, school lunch staff, driver type jobs. I’m yet to even get an interview.

Don’t have any college or uni education. Previously worked in hospitality or retail.

I don’t want to give up. I want to be the happy confident social person I once was.

I have enquired about a voluntary position and it’s looking quite positive that once covid restrictions have eased I will be able to commit myself within school hours. But I keep getting thoughts that employers won’t value this.

I have being doing lots of free online courses - one minute I’m feeling positive yet the next thinking employers aren’t going to value these print at home certificates.

Is there any hope for me?

Have you considered going to college/ uni financial support is decent for single parents.

I’m still living with Dh. So wouldn’t be entitled to any financial help because dh is a high earner. My goal is to find employment and try save enough to leave and begin the divorce process.

Realistically though you're not going to save up enough money to leave doing a minimum wage / pt hours job. You're going to be needing financial assistance in the form of benefits or a better job.

I'd still consider education if you're inclined or if you're keen to start work, go self employed, offer your services up as a cleaner/ mother's help/ ironer/ dogwalker on gumtree or local facebook page, See what demand there is locally and take it from there.

Don't do mlm

Never take a "job opportunity" from someone who adds ! to every sentence or signs off with kisses. Spam reported.

If in England or Wales then Id look for a degree apprenticeship in something cloud IT related as most of that is WFH and flexible. The classes would also be online WFH and you’d be paid a small wage while getting a degree and zero student loans to worry about. They have then now for older people (by older I mean not traditional school leaver age of 18/19 but mid20s on up). www.ucas.com/alternatives/apprenticeships/apprenticeships-england/what-apprenticeships-are-available/degree-apprenticeships

If you’re in the US, I’d still look into financial aid as if you even only informally separated you don’t count your DHs income on the FAFSA for financial aid. You would have to live separate from each other. He cheated, so tell him to get a flat by where he works and keep paying towards the children & house unto you graduate. Some of the online courses you have taken may count as credits towards a degree. Find your local community college and ask for a phone consultation on your options.

Hello OP. I just wanted to let you know that voluntary work paid off for me after I had been out of work for a lot longer than you, and several employers seemed to respect the experience it gave me. I volunteered for 2 years, just one day a week, and then found paid work through a temping agency. I'm not suggesting you would have to volunteer for that long! That was just what I did. I admit I do have a degree and a professional background, but pretty much all the paid work I have done in the last 2 years has been minimum wage so I don't think my degree has really been important to my finding work. I do agree with a PP though that it will be hard for you to save much on the minimum wage, but you have to start somewhere. Of the temping jobs I have done, all but one could have potentially led to permanent work, often at a higher wage.