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Original poster

Working mums of babies - how much time do you spend with them on a working day?

8 replies

artichokes · 31/10/2007 19:27

I work 3 days a week and my DD is 15 months. On the days I work (Tue-Thurs)I see her for about 45mins in the morning while I get ready. In the evenings I see her for an hour before bed except for once a week when I do not see her at all. This means that from 7pm on Monday night to 7am on Friday morning I see her for an average of 4hours and 15mins, during which time we are busy getting up or getting ready for bed.

I do not feel this is enough. Is it unually little? Tonight I missed her but her dad got home to put her to bed. For the hour she was with her Dad she just cried out "MaMa" all the time. When I got home and heard this it broke my heart.

Whoever knew how much guilt was involved in being a working Mum?

OP posts:

stringofswearwords · 31/10/2007 19:32

Oh I feel for you. It is horrid isn't it?

I am lucky that ds has an unusually late bedtime at the moment, but if he had normal routine I would see him for maybe 1 to 2 hours a day weekdays.

weepotion · 31/10/2007 19:34

artichokes - i am stil on mat leave but dreading goin gback. i leave home at 5.30am and wont be back to 7.30pm every weekday due to a long commute. i will never get to see her through the week. the thought is breaking my heart and i have the guilts already.
i agree - it is not easy being a working mum

Tinker · 31/10/2007 19:37

What a hideous commute weepotion

bojangles · 31/10/2007 19:38

It is horrid and really pulls at the heartstrings. I think it is a double blow as not only is the time so limited but it can also be the worst time of the day especially if they are tired and grouchy.

I am contemplating looking for a part time job working approx 22 hours but working it over 4 days instead of 3 to allow me more time with my DC's and also in contemplation of DD starting school next year I want to be able to collect her myself most days.

Could you try doing something similar even if just for a temporary trial basis.

ideamummy · 31/10/2007 19:40

I see dd for about an hour in the morning before she goes to nursery and I go to work, then pick her up 5pmish and she's in bed at 7ish so two hours in the evening. Apart from one day a week when I work from home in the afternoon and see her from 12.30 'til bedtime. Not too bad I guess, but I am lucky and only have a ten minute commute to work. Hubby has an hour so only sees her for 1 hour in the evenings. And like you mornings are spent getting dressed and having breakfast, evenings bath time and dinner. Not a lot of playing during the week. Lots at the weekend though.
It's hard, have been off sick for the last two days with her, we're both ill and I've loved being with her all day, we've had a lovely time. Apart from the constant coughing and snot wiping!

dyzzidi · 31/10/2007 19:42

I see dd for about 45 minute in the mornign and that include trip to nursery in the car and for about 1 - 1.30 in the evenings. I work three days per week. On my work days I don't even sit to have breakfast with her as she has it at nursery. I really hate this but I already have to wake her to take her there and feel its important she has enough sleep. ( she needs at least 12 hours so as not to be crabby)

What i do to make myself feel better is I don't do chores at a weekend so we have one on one time and tend to do something every weekend with her.

samueljbookworm · 01/11/2007 09:29

i see DS for about 45 mins in the morning and an hour in the evening. i work full time 5 days a week with a 50 mile round commute each day. i calculated (on another post) that i see him fo about 20 waking hours a week. nursery see him for 50. i hate it and am considering becoming a sahm. p/t locally (kill that commute) will not pay enough for me to justify nursery costs.

when you're pg, no-one mentions the guilt - they save that for you to find out later! and it doesn't change if you don't work, there'll always be something to feel guilty about

CatIsSleepy · 01/11/2007 09:41

It's tough isn't it...we had a week's holiday recently so got to spend much more time with my 18m dd than normal. It was lovely and I felt very low afterwards. I feel like I'm missing out (however I think she's perfectly happy with the current situation!).

I work 4 days a week, see her for about an hour in the morning (although about 25 mins of that is the walk to the childminder's, so am not sure that really counts) and around an hour in the evening. So not much at all really-certainly not enough.

On the other hand I know I wouldn't want to be at home with her all the time and on the whole I do like going out to work.The balance is not right atm though- I would be happier working 3 days a week but it's not really possible in my job.

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