Should I take extra Mat leave because of pandemic?

[Bivvy]

Background: I am a professional working in a fairly high pressured job. Worked at the company since graduating, was doing ok and working my way up the ladder. Wasn’t sure I wanted kids but got pregnant 2019. Was happy about this. Agreeed I’d take 9 month maternity leave. Covid hit in my third trimester of pregnancy. Worked from home (very very stressful often worked 12 hour days keeping all of my targets etc) until 39 weeks pregnancy. Went on maternity leave June 2020 and had baby 3 days later. Kept myself to myself for most of my maternity leave as not been able to go into the office to let collages meet baby like I usually would have.

I have found being a first time mother during the pandemic hard. I had a few good times in August/September 2020 but other than than I’ve been n tier 3 or 4 lockdown throughout and unable to do many activities with my little one that I’d hoped for. We’ve missed out on all the usual mother and baby groups etc. I’ve made no mum friends 😔

Current dilemma: my mat leave ends March, annual leave until early May. I believe I’m legally entitled to 12 months plus annual leave and am thinking of taking the extra 3 months off. This would be unpaid and a struggle but I feel like I’ve missed out Due to restrictions and il never get this time back so those extra 3 months in the spring/early summer may go a long way to help me make some memories with baby before going back to work. Restrictions may be relaxed then, or even if not the better weather will allow for better days- even if just playing in the garden.
Problem is this will not be popular with my manager and may damage my career prospects. They are waiting for my return to implement team changes etc. They won’t like it. it makes me feel guilty like I’m letting them down. (Thinking of returning 4 days although yet to confirm this)

I’m torn between wanting this extra time with my baby and wanting to protect my career

What would you do?

Ah OP it’s really tough at the moment! Don’t forget you’ll still have had lots of amazing times with your new baby, even without the classes etc. But I get that it’s not what you hoped for.

Is it worth having a chat with them about part time options first? If you can go back 3 or 4 days a week to begin with that does give you a bit of space to fit in a class or swimming or whatever, and start to get back into the swing of things at work.

Alternatively, you could go back sooner but then use your remaining holiday differently - so take a week a month through the summer or something?

Reading your post I think you have made up your mind and want to take the extra three months so you should just do that. You are entitled to and work will cope another three months so go for it.

I’d take the time with my baby.

I'm in a similar situation and have opted to take the full year. I don't think work are surprised, given the current situation, and time with my baby is more important.

I will be doing the same. I think take it.

I've decided to extend my mat leave by a couple of unpaid months for exactly those reasons.

I'm only planning on the one kid and will also be going back full time to a high pressure career so this is likely the only time in my life that I'll get to focus on motherhood in this way.

I too have worried a bit the impact on my career but am lucky to have a super supportive boss and has been through her own struggles as a working mum and wants to pay it forward. One great piece of perspective she gave me is that this is just a small chunk out of a long and successful career and while it feels like a long time now, will be over and forgotten by both you and your colleagues before you know it.

Don't feel bad. It's your right.

It's an extra 3 months out of your whole entire career. If work have a shit fit and mummy track you after, they were going to anyway. I extended my mat leave from planned 7 months to 8 with #1, and took 9 months with #2. Kind of wish I'd taken the year with both. Given that it's going to be late spring/early summer- the best time of the year- go for it.