Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

Original poster

Please help! I can't decide..

16 replies

cakesandcookies89 · 28/01/2021 18:22

I have been offered a job but am really, really struggling to make the right decision.

Background.. I am a primary teacher, I recently returned to my previous post but part-time when my little one was 6 months in September. It was difficult to negotiate what I wanted and as such got slightly less hours and no planning time (even though 10% is the legal requirement). My school is lovely, feels like home, set where I used to live and I have been there for 7 years.. I love the staff, however, it hasn't been without its issues.. it's very clicky and I feel very pushed out at times, it is now an hours drive or more in the am and pm.

I interviewed while on maternity leave for a job and got the final 2 but lots out to someone with more experience. Yesterday they phoned and said for family reasons she has had to resign, before they out an advert out would I be interested. I had informal chat with them and despite it being temporary in the first instance (they've not seen me teach) they made it permanent to give me job security. They said if I could let them know today. The hours are the same but I have to take a bit of a pay cut as I don't get the fringe allowance. It is 10 minutes from home. I asked about a pay rise and they said it is possible from September once I have settled. I will also get to be a core subject leader (there isn't much room for leadership at my current school and no money)

I adore my current school and cannot decide what to do. My head is very supportive of me being close to home as is my previous head. My DP thinks I'm mad not to take it.. but since yesterday all I've done is get very emotional, have a sleepless night and be all over the place at the thought of going.. I feel second best yet they want me. We've had so much on as a family and since losing my beloved grandma recently (who I would always talk to about things like this) I feel a bit at sea and everything feels very tricky.

Just looking for some friendly advice. I know I should trust my gut but I just feel a bit numb!

OP posts:

Flowerythoughts · 28/01/2021 18:54

It’s so tough.
I travel a bit to my job, I interview for one just down the road and was offered it. I decided to stay where I was and declined the position.
I really regret it now, the team have a tight clique and I’m very much on the outside. The pay was the same but I’d have saved on fuel, the hours slightly different but not much. I could have maybe progressed further or been in a more supportive team but, at the time, I figured it was better the devil you know.
Don’t feel second best, they could have just re advertised but chose to offer it to you straight off. All you can do is weigh up the pros and cons, if they had offered it to you last time would you have taken it? If so then why not just go for it? But if it doesn’t feel right then trust your gut.
I’m sorry for the loss of your Grandma

Cakeandcookies · 28/01/2021 19:29

Thank you @Flowerythoughts for replying to me.. I'm so sorry to hear you feel the same. Were you scared of moving on? I think because this has come out of the blue I feel very anxious. Are you still looking to move? That is very true.. I thought that they must be desperate! I think so as part of me didnt want to go back after mat leave.. I was quite upset last time & now its been handed to me I feel the guilt surrounding the pandemic, leaving my class and not being able to say a proper goodbye to everyone.. I love so much about it but think I need to push myself.. very tricky. Plus having a baby so far away.. I get in and am so tired. Thank you. I miss her everyday!

dancemom · 28/01/2021 19:45

Definitely take the new role

Margaritatime · 28/01/2021 23:26

They obviously want you or they would have just re-advertised. I think you are in shock as you had closed that avenue down. Reopening it has thrown you but on the basis of the information provided I think this was meant to be.

Go for it as you will benefit from reducing your commute., think of it as 1hr 30 minutes a day extra with your baby.

BejeweledCrocs · 28/01/2021 23:35

Take the job! The shorter commute will make your working day sooo much shorter.

Change is scary but sometimes necessary.

I've recently employed someone who came second in interviews. I feel like it is fate cos she is great.

Penyu · 28/01/2021 23:45

I'm in a similar position to you right now, primary teacher, job hunting. Honestly if a school called me back after I thought it was a 'no' I wouldn't hesitate, if it suited me.
Don't worry you weren't the'first choice' there are many reasons for that, not only experience but also financial and even family situation. Doesn't mean they don't rate you.. Take it, and get the core subject leadership in your CV and in a couple of years you will be ready for the next step, if you want it.

Bargebill19 · 28/01/2021 23:53

Take the new job. Not fitting in is soul destroying. Less pay will be offset by less travelling costs. Sounds like you can progress more and they obviously really want you.
If you believe in fate - new year, time to re focus on a new start.

YouAreTheWordsIAmTheTune · 28/01/2021 23:57

Name change fail

CrikeyPeg · 29/01/2021 05:21

I hope you took the new job. Reduction in commute distance and time will make up for some of the pay cut and working 10 mins from home is fabulous! Let us know what you decide/d.

Cakeandcookies · 29/01/2021 07:48

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to reply to me. It is an very difficult time atm for us as a family and I'm an over thinker. I'm just hoping the head isn't annoyed as I have delayed because out of courtesy I wanted to speak to my current head. I feel sick st the thought if leaving all the things I love there as they really do go above and beyond for the children & I love the staff yet the clique will never change I know that and my little one is already growing so fast nearly 13 months! I'm going to go for it and 🤞 x

Cakeandcookies · 29/01/2021 07:49

@CrikeyPeg My Grandma was called Peg and I know she would have told me to go for it! Must be a sign!

Nopreservatives · 29/01/2021 07:56

How do you not have any planning time? You should push really hard to get that 10% extra pay and do the planning at home, if you stay.

For that reason alone, I would take the other job, I would want to work I a school that thought that was acceptable, but not having to commute so far is worth a lot IMO, especially while DC are small.

MissBPotter · 29/01/2021 08:00

New role, no question. Fringe allowance will be eaten up with commute cost and time away from dc. Plus it’s subject leader and chance for promotion.

Flowerythoughts · 29/01/2021 20:01

So, did you speak to your current head? Have you formally accepted then?
I’m no longer looking, my confidence is now shot, I should have gone when I had the chance.
I hope it works out well for you, being closer to home will be life changing for you, so much more time with your little one

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 30/01/2021 09:42

New job will give you an extra two hours a day at home, and save you a lot in petrol, wear and tear on your car etc. The other place is cliquey, and they are ignoring the legal requirement of planning time. I would take the local job.

Whiteclaw · 30/01/2021 09:53

Try not to be worry about the second best thing. Sometimes there are 2 great candidates and you have to choose between them somehow. I employed someone who knew she was second choice as the first choice accepted but then withdrew. She is fantastic and in hindsight was probably a much better choice for the situation we’ve been in over the last year.

Flip