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Original poster

Instant and weird shift in opinion about childcare.

21 replies

toddlerbob · 27/10/2004 00:54

I am happy with being a SAHM with my 20 month ds. We go out and do heaps of things and I love being with him. I went with a friend to check out a preschool for her twins and it really reinforced my decision to stay at home. It made me really angry and I described it to my dh as a "baby prison".

Then for no reason I can explain I went to look at another one, which is a 5 minute walk from my house. It is brand new and they had an open week on and I just sort of wandered in. My ds moved in like he owned the place, talking away and getting on with all the activities. And I suddenly decided that I would like to send him there and get on with building up my business (as opposed to what I am doing now which is letting it evolve). I took my dh this morning to have a look, and he really liked it too, I could hardly get my ds to leave.

Am I moving too fast though from a position where I didn't think daycare was right for our family to this instant decision that it is?

OP posts:

ScummyMummy · 27/10/2004 02:43

Nope, IMO. You're ready to move more firmly back into work and your son's ready to branch into daycare and you've found the right place for him to go, so your perceptions have changed. Exact same thing happened with me and my boys and it all worked out fine. Hope it will for you too.

GRMUM · 27/10/2004 05:45

No I don't think you're moving too fast. Everything just came together, right time, right place etc. Good luck!

misdee · 27/10/2004 08:29

I was like you. neither of mine ever went to childcare. but dd2 decided it for me. she kept trying to break in to dd1 nursery school (very modern and lovely, dd1 is really settled there, hence why i make a long journey each day to take her there since we moved). So i looked at the private nursery attached to the nursery school. dd2 now goes there (only one afternoon a week as thats all they have space for atm) and come january she will be moving to a different nursery closer to home. I dont have a need for her to go, just she wanted to, and at 2yrs old she was ready, and in a way so was i.

If the nursery feels right to all of your family and you feel your son would be settled there then go for ir. Try a few short sessions 1st if they'll let you and ease your son and yourself into it.

Original poster

toddlerbob · 27/10/2004 08:45

I was planning to start with one half day and work up as my business demanded, so it's not exactly the end of the world, but it's a big deal for me.

OP posts:

maomao · 27/10/2004 09:26

Toddlerbob,

I think it's really wonderful that everything is coming together --- that you've found a place that you like for ds, and that you're going to build up your business. I think that gut reactions can be really important. Hooray for you!

jampot · 27/10/2004 10:19

I went with a friend to check out a day nursery for her very precious baby too and it was vile. The greeting was a stench of nappy (poooey) and after a brief tour of the very spacious but empty nursery we were led through what I can only describe as "staged singing" by the children and some staff. Then the majority of the rest of the time was spent by the deputy manager telling us of her friend's dd who had died on her first day of college because of an undetected heart problem. We looked at another 2 nurseries and she fell in love with one which was effectively in the wrong direction from her home to work - its just right place for your child and family. Im sure he will be really happy there

MrsDoolittle · 27/10/2004 10:30

Toddlerbob. When I went to look at nurseries for dd , the first one I went to made me cry. It was so embarrassing, all the staff trying to comfort me. I had to go to work but I really didn't want her to go there and this is where we had planned all throughout my pregnancy. It was, as you describe, baby prison.
Then I found the cosy little nursery where dd is now and honestly the relief was amazing and all the worry I had about going back to work left me. Dd is doing really well and really seems to enjoy it. I love going to work, I am sure this is largely due to the fact I feel so comfortable leaving her.

Jimjams · 27/10/2004 10:41

He's older....... What's right for you and him will change. Go for it!

prufrock · 27/10/2004 11:33

I think the only nursery you should send your child to is the one where you make the instant decision that it is right.
I would though say that one half day is probably not enough - he might find it more difficult to settle if he has a week between visits.

bundle · 27/10/2004 11:37

sounds perfect. a good/bad nursery/childminder can instantly change our minds. good for you, it doesn't mean you're fickle just able to see the difference between good and bad. i love our nursery and both my girls started at 7 mths. as i left this morning dd2 was tucking into her 2nd weetabix and they'd both created artwork before they'd barely got their coats off. fabulous

Original poster

toddlerbob · 27/10/2004 21:04

I had a chat to my mum and dad who have always been very pro staying at home and they surprised me by saying they thought it was a great idea and to get in quick, because if I thought it was fab with my previous dislike of the places generally then everyone else would too and I would kick myself if I waited and lost out - whereas I can always pull him out if I've made the wrong decision. As they spend 3 one month holidays here per year I thought they would miss him if he was at preschool, but mum actually said it would be nice to have some time to look around the shops without worrying about him! My parents approval is important to me and so that's the final bit of the jigsaw - I'm going to sign him up today. Will probably need an extra piece of paper for the allergy section!

I've decided to do an 8.30-3pm one day and a 1-5pm another day. They have lovely lunches which they showed me sample of and give fresh fruit and water as snacks. I can't believe I am actually excited about this. Thanks for all your stories, I appreciate knowing that you all found a place that you clicked with.

No doubt I will be haunting this section for a bit with many questions...

OP posts:

motherinferior · 27/10/2004 21:12

Go for it, honey. The right daycare - whether that's you, a childminder, a nursery or whatever - makes ALL the difference.

Ghosty · 27/10/2004 21:37

I agree with everyone ... go for it! I think if you have found somewhere that you feel really comfprtable with, that is almost an extension of you, that Bob loves .... you are on to a winner IMO!!!
This daycare sounds fab ... do they have one in Auckland???

Original poster

toddlerbob · 28/10/2004 04:22

They are a chain - called Kindercare. I like the philosophy of real food, only giving water to drink, no kids to bring own food. What really impressed me though was that they stressed the care they would give Bob, not how educational it all was. Let's face it the carers change all the time in these places, you only have to see the job ads to realise that, so a central philosophy is important to me. Also we've been every day this week, and so when I joked that I would give them tomorrow off, they told me to come if I wanted to and to stay as long as I liked. I liked that we weren't a nuisance.

They were very proactive - looking for latex free plasters etc. I was able to patch test their sunscreen and I've got samples of the glue and stuff that they use to try.

Roll on Tuesday - before I change my mind. Bob will have 3 women looking after just him until they get some more people enrolled. It'll be like megananny.

OP posts:

JJ · 28/10/2004 08:44

toddlerbob, go for it! It sounds great. I don't know how you make decisions, but a lot of mine are made the same way (ie, instantaneous, 'this is it').

Hope it works out for you and Bob.

Marina · 28/10/2004 11:56

toddlerbob, it sounds wonderful. How fantastic to be able to choose to start rebuilding your career AFTER you have found childcare you really feel is right for you all, and when you feel ready. Go girl! So glad others are being supportive of your decision too.

Original poster

toddlerbob · 28/10/2004 19:06

That sums it up Marina, I was going nowhere career wise, by finding somewhere a before I need it I can now approach working positively, rather than panicking about childcare instead.

OP posts:

Original poster

toddlerbob · 01/11/2004 08:09

Tomorrow is the big day. I'm quite excited now, as I got a job interview for Thursday (his second day) and so it's all coming together.

OP posts:

Ghosty · 01/11/2004 08:44

Toddlerbob ...
Good luck for tomorrow for the little man ...
This is the beginning of a whole new chapter for you both (well, and DH too I guess ) and before you know it you will be where I am now, on the threshold of DS starting school (sob sob!!)

I have heard of kindercare ... they are very good ...

Are you going to change your name to KindyBob soon?

kinderbob · 01/11/2004 19:17

There we go a new name for a new stage!

I am dropping ds off this afternoon and dh is picking up. Even better he is going to start work 1/2 later on Thursdays to drop him off. The place literally is around the corner, but I am so thrilled that he is getting involved.

Have to finish my allergy action plan now...

kinderbob · 05/11/2004 18:55

It all went really well, apart from him not eating anything that is!

I got the job as well so it's all coming together.

We think that he didn't eat because he has been told over and over again not to take food from anyone apart from me and dh. I am going to take his favourite lunch box and one of his bowls from home and see if he eats next week from these.

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