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Original poster

What to say in resignation letter/exit interview?

16 replies

thebecster · 29/10/2007 10:52

I'm going to quit my job because I'm so unhappy here, but I will likely need to get a reference from them in the future. So I need to have something to say as to why I'm leaving that won't cause a huge row. I don't want to say I'm leaving to be SAHM, because I'm not, and if I say that they're likely to mention in reference that my reason for leaving was that I didn't want to go out to work... I basically don't want to say anything that will cause a bad impression to a future employer. But I want to leave NOW, I can't stick around until I get another job. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could say in my resignation letter and exit interviews??? Thank you!

OP posts:
RubyShivers · 29/10/2007 10:57

why can't you say you feel you have progressed/learnt a lot in your current role, but you have decided to take a career break to look at your options?

at your exit interview you can say in a calm and factual manner what your liked and didn't like about the job - leave on a positive note

Bluestocking · 29/10/2007 10:57

You don't have to say anything in your letter of resignation. Do you have to have an exit interview? My workplace has decided to stop doing them.

RubyShivers · 29/10/2007 10:58

do they have any idea about how unhappy you are, or is this going to come as a shock?

Original poster
thebecster · 29/10/2007 11:01

I think they'll be shocked because although I said how unhappy I was in my last meeting with my boss she said 'Well, we all are, but let's face it, none of us are ever going to leave are we? So we just have to live with it.' (Which to me sounds more like a cult than a job )

I will have to have an exit interview. In fact I suspect that I'll have several exit interview with different board members and that they'll try to persuade me to stay. Maybe not. Maybe they'll be glad to get shot of me But they're likely to lose a lot of revenue by my leaving and nobody likes that...

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 29/10/2007 11:05

It sound like a vile place to work! But I would agree with Ruby, you should find some positive things to say in your exit interview if you have to have one.

Original poster
thebecster · 29/10/2007 11:21

I think I'm going to have difficulty in the exit interview saying what I liked & didn't like without getting them on the defensive.

eg what I liked - my external clients, my peer group of colleagues, the first 2 years of working there before I had a baby

what I didn't like - my pay being cut by 50% after returning from maternity, being expected to regularly work late into the night, being given a carpeting for having taken too much time off sick (I had meningitis - only viral but due to how exhausted I was from overwork, my immune system didn't kick in and I had beginnings of septicaemia), having my target for revenue kept at same level for this year even though I was off sick for three months and coming back to find my boss hadn't covered my work at all in my absence - was just expecting me to do 12 months work in 9 months after a serious illness, seeing talentless workshy egotists being promoted to board level as long as they're male, and noticing that not one single female in the company has EVER been promoted in the 4 years I've worked here, regardless of their achievements...

I think if I say any of this they'll just label me a troublemaker (which I might well be ) and my reference might be jeopardised... And I don't really want to get into an argument about it - I'm leaving, not trying to change them. If I thought I could change it, I'd stay and try to change it. But I'm going to find it really difficult when they press me for my reasons for leaving not to say it - I need to say something else, something which is a bit more emotionally neutral... But not a lie, I'm no good at lying.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 29/10/2007 11:34

There's certainly no reason why you have to have an exit interview if you don't want one. They can't force you. But it's not necessarily a negative thing. If you have already raised your concerns it's difficult to see what you would be losing by reiterating them in a constructive manner in an exit interview.

Similarly there is no reason you have to explain your departure in your letter if you would rather not, although, again, if the concerns have already been raised, mentioning that you have previously discussed concerns you had but are disappointed at the lack of action/failure to take them seriously or similar might be appropriate (and helpful).

It would be a shame if you felt unable to share your concerns in an exit interview with someone (and no reason you can't insist if you do have one it's with someone of your choice that you would feel comfortable talking to). Of course there is absolutely no guarantee any of the issues will be addressed but it may provide useful evidence for someone who wants to take action or may form part of a wider trend.

And if there is a 'huge row' there is no need for you to take part in it, just walk away, there is nothing lost in refusing to take part in such negative pointless discussions. But there may be something lost for them and you, if there is no constructive, calm discussion about what the problems are.

flowerybeanbag · 29/10/2007 11:36

x-post, spent ages doing that in between DS screaming. Everything still stands though, and anything they say in a reference has to be factual and supported.

DumbledoresGirl · 29/10/2007 11:42

Could you not just say that you are leaving to find a job which fits in better with the dual role you now have as a wage earner and a mother (that covers the grievances you have re the time you had off sick, and the lack of support you had from your boss during your absence) and also say that you feel you have reached the upper limit in terms of promotion in this company and want a new challenge in another company (that covers your bit about no female workers getting promotion).

I have never heard of exit interviews before - how horrific. I would be so sorely tempted to say stuff your job where the sun doesn't shine! - how hard it must be to give positive reasons for leaving.

Original poster
thebecster · 29/10/2007 11:55

DG - the 'stuff your job' speech is on the tip of my tongue, I'm biting it back

OP posts:
LadyPenelope · 29/10/2007 12:04

I think what DG says sounds good - it's very general and sounds v. professional. Definitely nothing in it for you to get drawn into heated debate.

Exit interviews would be a good idea if it's for a company to understand why talented people are leaving and if they want to change stuff. But all too often, when people leave, they don't want to talk about the reasons for going - at that stage, what's in it for you? As you say, you just want a good reference, and who cares what happens to the company when you leave.

rookiemum · 29/10/2007 13:10

On the one occasion when I have resigned before I just submitted a one sentence letter saying " I am resigning with effect from today". I felt that the lack of social niceties made the point that I didn't feel my boss at the time was due them, but wasn't incriminating for me.

Regarding the exit interview as flowerybeanbag says you don't have to do it. If it were me, and its not, I would tell them that I don't want to have an exit interview as I don't want anything I say to impact on my reference and as my decision has already been made then it is pointless.

Good luck finding a new role.

TerrorMater · 29/10/2007 13:18

Does your company still do proper references? DH's last three employers all give a non-committal "Worked here from then to now in such and such a capacity" reference.

lisalisa · 29/10/2007 13:23

Message withdrawn

Original poster
thebecster · 29/10/2007 14:37

My company def. does proper references - I've written a few, and read ones my boss has written (she's usually harsh but fair, but she has a real downer on me at the moment...).

The pay cut was v. sneaky - I'm paid based on % of target reached, and they've just set it so high that there's no way I can do it no matter how hard I work, plus the time off sick and maternity leave hasn't helped. I was really shocked though when I went through my payslips and figured out the % drop...

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 29/10/2007 14:53

I have never set out reasons in a letter - always said "Llease accept this as notice of my resignation. I would propose that my last day is [ ]. Thank you for your help and support over the period I have worked here. Yours sincerely..."

I have had exit interviews and agree that you definitely do not want to bad mouth them (depends I suppose on what sector you work in but in mine it would be a bad idea). I have always stuck to the line that it is a fine place to work, but for personal reasons, it no longer suits me and I just smile a lot. Give as few details as possible, then you don't have to lie. Harder if they are going to try and talk you in to staying but vague meaningless phrases like "want new challenges" a job "with a slightly different work life balance" should go a long way - especially if you don't elaborate too much.

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