Today i want a job, tomorrow I want to be a SAHM - indecision!!!!

[bojangles]

Ok I know I am in a realtively lucky position of having a choice but the freedom to choose whether to work or not is NOT setting me free.

I am professional who left work after DS was born - he is now 18mths and DD is 3 1/2. Mostly I enjoy being at home - I like the freedom to do what I want with the kids each day, I like doing stuff with the kids and I enjoy the whole SAHM thing of cooking etc. However, I go through spells where I panic about my future and what will happen to my career. Now, whilst I was a professional - I didn't particularly enjoy my job and had taken a step back in my career contemplating having children. I keep seeing (and applying) for jobs that I think look interesting and am now in the position where I have a couple of interviews coming up and I am panicking about whether they are right for me or indeed whether I want to work at all.

Do you think this is all quite normal? Or am I just being difficult to please? The pros for working are time away from the kids, money, wearing nice clothes, using my brain etc but the cons are leaving the kids, cost of child care, working for someone else etc.

Any thoughts?........

Interesting thread as I am in a similar postion myself. In fact I was going to post something similar. I have 1 DD aged 2 and another due in April. On paper we can survive on DHs wage but there certainly wouldnt be any luxuries. After a particularly bad week tyring to cover child care between DH and I after DD was ill last week I was all set to hand my notice in when off with DC2 next year and not go back. However, after reading some of your views I am not so sure this is a good idea. I have a professional job which is highly specialised so my skills are not readily transferable to something else, I work PT and DD is ay a great nursery, I could afford to cover 2 DC childcare costs on my salary which would only be for 1.5 years as DD would be at school after that, lots of annual leave (7 weeks a year!), possibility of term time only contract. Everything that some of you have mentioned. The downsides: no family nearby to help when DC ill, long cummute from home/nursery (1 hour), DH will be working about an hour away from home as well from next year rather than the current 10 mins so we will both be far away, dont particularly enjoy the work environement, very competitive etc, little chance of career progress (particulalry since having DC). But I could look for soemthing related. Liko OP there is a chance of going into lecturing position but having never done this I am nervous about that. I am waffling but bascially reading this thread has made me realise that it may not be the answer to chuck it all in and give up work. Like most working parents I feel torn between my commitments at home and work but I have the option to take less demanding work which would mean more flexibility. The downside is that I can feel bored but you cant have it all. I am waffling again! I am going to take the 12 months mat leave and then decide. If I still want to be off I will look into a career break from my current post (I think work will allow me another year off).

Mumpip- I agree with bojangles. I would go for the business thing. Maybe have a back up plan for when you fall pregnant. IE someone else to manage the business for you. This will obviously depend on the business. You may end up having a bigger age gap than you are currently planning for which would give you time to set up the business. Personally if this was a now or never decision and had I have not been thinking of getting pregnant I would have grabbed with both hands then I would go for it. Good luck.

Hi Micegg - your job sounds great - but I conpletely understand if your heart isn't in it. But, I would say keep your options open as you don't have to tell work until around month 11 of mat leave. If you are struggling before mat leave I would recommend finishing early - I stopped at around 28 weeks with DS and I enjoyed the rest and some quality time with DD.

I think that whatever we decide as Mum's we will be racked with indecision as there are so many emotions caught up in our choices.

The possibility of a career break sounds like a great idea and perhaps the flexibility of your job would make it worthwhile sticking it out.

thanks bojangles and micegg. Good point about me not being pregnant yet. Ist conception was accidental so I sort of took it for granted that next time would happen right away! Been looking at the ttc discussions and it seems this is not always the case. Would be a bummer if I gave up the career chance then resented it every month I wasn't pregnant.
Think I will go for it. Its hard when so many things sway your emotions. Just read a book called 'what mothers do (especially when it looks like nothing)' it's quite good but has got a significant bias towards the school of thought that babies need mum with them all the time. It made me feel guilty for planning a child and a business together. Anyone else read it - how did it make you feel?

Hi Mumpip - sounds like a good plan - I fell pregnant with DD after 6 long months of ttc, fell pregnant second time by accident and miscarried at 9 weeks and fell pregnant with DS after a couple of months.

I am reading that book at the moment but have only got as far as 'the art of comfort' - really enjoying it and making me see how special and great us Mum;s are.

Good Luck.