I've been here a long time, but have name changed for obvious reasons. Sorry for the length - I'm trying not to drip feed.
Tonight, my DH told me that he. has been on capability at work for the past few months and is expecting to be sacked at his next review meeting. It's not a new job, he's been there years, but changes at work and lockdown have hit him hard.
He totally broke down and told me he's been having suicidal thoughts. I don't know why I didn't see it, massive weight loss, constantly tired, no sex drive. I just thought he was busy at work, because he seems to work late almost every evening. I guess I was just so busy juggling my job, the children and lockdown. He has agreed to go to the doctor tomorrow.
But what do we do about work? He thinks he should just resign. That way he leaves with a clean record, However, doing this would really screw us over financially, and we wouldn't be entitled to any benefits if he just resigns. I'm also worried where he'd find another job in the current market. He works in quite a niche area.
I think when he goes to the doctor tomorrow, he's likely to be told he has work related stress or depression. But where would that leave us? DH doesn't want to tell work, because he thinks that it would then mean that he'll have the capability and the stress / depression against him on his work record.
We've never been here before, and I don't know what to do. If he does tell work, what will happen to him regarding his capability procedures? I'm just concerned he's not making the progress he should be because he is depressed. I don't know where to turn. I'm angry and worried, But for now, I need to support him. So please advise if you can. Thank you.