Crap at job after mat leave

[MrsCremuel]

I've posted before on here. I had a tough return to work with an isolating toddler and now a month on just feel so down about my ability to do my role.

I have forgotten so much (was away for 19 months). I don't think the same, find it hard to concentrate and feel disorganosed. Work just this I'm back so all is as it was but....I'm crap! I need to be honest with my manager but she is a new manager so hardly know her. Just want to resign but think I'd be running away. I don't feel the same about the job anymore, lost my drive completely.

Same, except add in I got made redundant so I had to change jobs so it's not even familiar

@olderthanyouthink that must be really hard. I am relying on the goodwill of my colleagues and my past reputation really. It's left my self esteem in tatters. Is the new role similar to your last and have you had a proper induction?

It is bloody hard. Seriously bloody hard. You might as well be in a new job but everyone else expects you to know what you're doing.

Whats the company culture like? Would people respond well if you put an induction together for yourself of meetings with key people or teams (catch up on changes and new priorities, meet new people)?

@Gliblet that's exactly it. I'm basically a new starter but they expect me to know it all. The culture is well meaning but busy and so there is a tendency to try and palm as much as they can onto people.

I am thinking about just laying it all out on the table and doing the induction thing. I feel I've got nothing to lose at this point and am worried if I don't I'll fuck up (which in my role could cost money/cause reputational damage). Dread work every night.

When I went back after my first a colleague told me it would take a year to get my rhythm back properly but that I would be much more productive by the end of it. She was right. Do the induction, be honest when you need further clarification and try not to punish yourself too much. It gets better.

Go for it - manage upwards! You won't look like you're floundering if you say "right! Obviously there's going to be things I'm not completely up to speed on. What do we need to do to get me back to working where you need me working? I have some ideas but I'd like to hear yours?"

We because this is as much your team's job as yours.

1 month is nowhere near enough time.

Agree as pp says call a meeting with your manager to explore what you and she see as the main areas you need some actions in place. Set up weekly or whatever regular 1 to 1s to update and update the plan.

I have daily catch ups with my manager and I'm 3 months in.. I'd say I'm getting there now but not where I want to be yet.

Take it easier on yourself. Of course it's not your main priority anymore. Doesn't matter. The skills and abilities you had before haven't gone away.

I had an induction, not all of it stuck in my head and I hate feeling stupid having to ask basic questions. It's similar to what I did 3/4 years ago so dragging up old stuff from the depths of my brain.

We had two deaths in the family (parent and grandparent) in the last couple months and there's a lot of shit from that too which they are very understanding off thankfully but I hate feeling like a weak link.

Also I'm nearly 12 weeks pregnant so.... there's that too I'm shattered.