People who are good managers wwyd

[DorisDaisyMay]

Hi,
So I lead a very small team (4 including me) that has had to change a lot due to COVID. What we do now is unrecognisable to before March but three of us have developed a new project together and are really happy and enthused by it.

One team member is (undiagnosed) autistic.
He has just returned to the team after having time out due to personal reasons. And I have no doubt that he finds aspects of life a challenge.

To help his transition back I spoke to him before he came back, to talk about how the team has changed and now meeting deadlines are more important than ever, due to the speed we now work.

He has been back four weeks (not including Christmas where we had three weeks off):

• Been late to 3/3 meetings
• I have had to chase him repeatedly for a very simple piece of work that he kept saying he wanted to do.
• Missed 2/3 deadlines for pieces of very simple work (4 hours work max over two weeks)
• The only things he had to do in that time was simple piece of work and the other thing and attend the meetings. So there is no huge workload thing - attendance at the meeting is ‘the thing’.

He half ignores my messages - so will reply to one part and not the other. To me, it feels manipulative- I am letting you know I read it but I am not bothering to reply to you or answer your questions.

I have spoken to him on the phone every time he has been late/missed something. I haven’t just let it go.

• He has verbally agreed to do it.
• Then doesn’t do it again.

So, just before Christmas I sent him a very clear email about working practice and expectations.

I made a real effort to get his Christmas present to him to make sure he knew he was valued and that the email (although it was in no way mean) was not the last contact he had with me.

Work starts again.
On Monday I sent him a message with a direct question and he sent me a sticker back. Didn’t answer me.

Then yesterday was first team meeting back and he was late.

It feels very personal now - as if, because I have told him his behaviour is unacceptable in a professional environment, he is doing it more to try and piss me off and assert some ‘control’.

I find it so weird.

At the end of the meeting I tried to arrange a meeting with just him and a trustee- as I think he is struggling but he looked annoyed. He told me he couldn’t meet this week (!) and I have a feeling this meeting will be something that he agrees to and then avoids.

Shall I say he can’t attend any more team meetings until we have the support meeting, as an incentive for him actually attending?

WWYD next?

@Mackerelpizza

I was wondering where the "undiagnosed autism" judgement came from. I really don't think it's appropriate for a line manager to be making amateur diagnoses about their employees and basing their decisions on them. (Who wouldn't be upset that their line manager was busy trying to diagnose them with things?)

If he's taking repeated sickness absence because he can't cope then his employer should be referring him to occupational health so they can make an informed assessment of any reasonable adjustments needed and how to approach matters. That helps both you and him.

THIS

Workplace Wellbeing Manager here. You're jumping to a conclusion that you have no right to. There could be a million reasons for his behaviour that you don't know about. I agree with those who have said to refer him to OH.

Performance manage him with hr as he sounds incompetent.

Yes, don’t be dismissive of those with autism. Many perform highly and work hard. He has no diagnosis, has not suggested it as a cause of difficulty and has no grounds for reasonable adjustment over and above that you’d give to everyone.
Seek HR advice. Tell him you are doing so.
Have regular 1:2:1 meetings where you determine any reasons that are impacting on their work.
Set very clear but entirely reasonable goals and expectations.
Offer support, coaching, learning. Then make sure it’s enacted.
Agree performance indicators and timescales.
Set a review date.
Review and if no improvement, move to formal processes so the person is very well aware of possible consequences.
HR involvement all the way. Don’t refer to OH without the person’s permission and HR advice- why would you refer someone hadn’t claimed to be unwell or limited by ill health?
Act in accordance with your policy on management of underperformance and provide every opportunity for the person to improve.
Record everything very clearly. Be mindful of any intemperate emails that might need to be disclosed at a later point.
Be compound. Share records of calls and meetings; make it impossible for them to say they didn’t know or weren’t told something.
Give positive feedback too and record that. Never have entirely critical meetings. Ask them lots of questions rather than telling them how it is. Listen carefully to the answers. Consider move to another role or team.

They need managing. Hopefully to bring about improvements. If not, to allow a clear and unambiguous trail of support and clarity of expectations. Then support them to understand this may not be the right job for them. They have a choice work to accepted standards or don’t work.

As an aside, reasonable adjustment is to allow someone with a disability to perform the job not to avoid it. Many with assorted disabilities just want to be able to function well in the workplace and need modifications to allow that. Assuming someone underperforming is in some way disabled is a bit unfair on those who triumph over real challenges to be accepted and included.

Hi OP, v experienced manager here. Dealing with prolonged illness is tough, but I am not sure what results you are looking for. Your first responsibility is to your company, so you need to get a plan in place that will help him get him back in work and being productive, and if that is not possible, then I am afraid you will need to let him go.

Him going off sick for prolonged periods (Apr to Dec is a huge stretch) and coming back with no professional input on how to manage his return to work or what adjustments might be needed leaves you back at square one every time.

I had a team member with a chronic physical condition and very poor mental health. When she was well she was fantastic but both her physical and mental health declined. Started getting into a pattern of being off for 4 to 6 weeks, back to work for a week or two, struggling, then signed off again.

I got OH involved very early, and set an adjusted working pattern for her return including some working from home and reduced hours and asked her to tell her GP not to declare her fit for work unless confident she could stay in work for at least a month.

The reality was that she was not able to work, and unfortunately I had to let her go. Her inability to work was having a big knock on impact on other team members having to pick up her work, and I had to think of the team as a whole. It was horrible but had to be done.

I have worked with several people with diagnosed autism (and without) very successfully and no where did I make any judgements about autism and poor performance.

I said that it was relevant as he has many traits, which would explain his behaviour and IMO would actually help him to become more aware of himself and make the overwhelm that I can see he feels less mysterious.

I would never say that to him as it would be completely out of line but I can’t help making professional judgment based on what I have experienced.

Inclusion is a value I hold dear and not just lip service. And that includes thinking about the impact on myself and others.

I am now able able to reflect on what I could have done differently. Thanks for the great advice I can make a plan for the medium and long term with better clarity.

Thanks everyone who has commented and given me things to think about.