Off work with depression and anxiety

[Mammy1981]

Hi everyone. I’m new to this. I have been off work almost two months with anxiety and depression. I am panicking that I won’t ever be able to return. I am a deputy head teacher in a school who is career coping at all. I have two kids and I feel like they have lost their once happy and upbeat mam. I am on AD but they don’t seem to be working. I’m at the point where I’m scared to leave the house and spent a lot of time in bed but not asleep. The problem is I am ruminating about work 24/7. I am a single mam and need a job but the way I am I can’t imagine me ever teaching again. I’m embarrassed to go back to school as staff know that I am off with this. I have had suicidal thought but they have subsided thank god. I’m just lost!

You need to let go of any guilt and concentrate on yourself. Is there a root of why you feel like this or is it a culmination? Have you had counselling?

It is a waste of time to worry about what people think - I know it’s easy for me to say! In the majority people will be understanding...mental health issues are a real illness. You are completely justified in being off for this.

I know it’s obvious but trying to get out and go for a walk or exercise is good. If you don’t feel like that, start with counselling. Small steps

Hi thanks for you reply. I have always been a people pleaser and the most sociable person you can meet. I’m a shell of myself and it’s frightening that I won’t get back to that. It’s a build up of things. New job probably hasn’t helped. Started sitting lockdown and don’t feel like I fit in. I push myself to go to at least two shops a day. Right now I’m off shopping with my daughter and I’m dreading it. I normally live going out. I’m pushing friends away as I don’t want them to see me like this. I need to get better ! X

I’m starting a CBT course this week

Other things that can help, not all, just pick one and try it out:

• taking vitamins daily, taking the time to do this is a way of confirming to yourself that you are important
• weighted blanket
• nice tea
• taking up a repetitive hobby like knitting and concentrate on one line at a time
• bring the kids to bed and watch a film if you need to sleep
• did you have any hobbies before? I love food so I look through cookbooks, even though I don’t cook from them most of the time. There is a beautiful book called ‘midnight chicken and other recipes worth living for’ which combines recipes with the authors journey through grieving and poor mental health.

Oh try to tell your friends - just one!

Starting a new job in lockdown must be difficult, particularly in schools, which can only be living on adrenaline.

I’m also a people pleaser and the same happened to me two years ago. I don’t know about you but when I felt I was failing at everything it became overwhelming. Counselling certainly helped me and I’m back at work as normal now so it can get better you have to allow yourself the space to get better, the world will be there when you go back.

Have you any pretty places to walk nearby?

Yeah I have a nice park opposite. The only thing is I’ve never been a Walker and feels strange me doing it. I am alone a lot and feel daft walking round the park when everyone else has dogs so tend to go to the shops. I play puzzles in my spare time to take my mind off things. As I say I just feel like I’m going to end up on benefits and loose every I’ve worked hard to achieve COs of this x

I didn’t really have time for hobbies. Television and shopping were the two things I found most pleasure in. It’s such a debilitating thing. The social anxiety is driving my mad as I loved going out and seeing people and as I said really confident. I was so bad I took myself to hospital as I thought I was going crazy and demanded to go into a mental hospital x