Career Vs Baby (27F Chartered Accountant)

[Puzzles10848]

Hi all

I am struggling to make a decision on whether to have a baby or continue with my audit career to progress.

I am currently a Chartered Accountant at supervisor level (will be 2 years to progression at least). I want to ideally start a family before 30:

• My SO is 5 years older than me

• Age related complications are less

• I will have more energy

• We are already on the property ladder and finances are fine

What would you recommend?
A few things on my mind are:

• I was thinking of starting fresh in a firm after as a financial controller/work my way up

• worried that people my age/ at my workplace would frown on this and I'm worried I won't be taken seriously as most people wait until Manager/SM before starting a family

• I might be starting in a new audit department, shall I hold this off?

Hi OP - great question!

I am also a chartered accountant but I did a 4 year first degree and an PhD before I started training (don’t ask!) so I had literally only just got my first job when I was your age. I waited to get to manager level before having a baby, which I did in 2018 at the age of 35; actually got promoted while I was pregnant in the end which made me feel very well disposed towards my firm! Thinking about having number 2 soon as I’m resigned to not progressing further until I know I won’t be going off on mat leave again and can plan ahead for secondments etc to help my career.

However, I am fortunate to work in an unusually family friendly and flexible team- I know others (including colleagues) who had children at your level (Assistant Manager in big 4) and basically had to leave their jobs as their managers insisted flexible working wasn’t possible at that level. Do you know how your firm feels about this? I think the profession is improving in this area but probably not quickly enough.

Also don’t underestimate the effect a child will have on your ability to put in the extra hours- I regularly used to stay at work until 7pm and that just isn’t possible when you have to do nursery pick ups/ drop offs, although obviously depends how much your partner can help. I am lucky that my DH also changed his working hours so we are both part time now which helps massively as I know there are days when he is in charge and I can work extra hours if needed. Also I frequently log on after DD’s bedtime.

Also my job now is office based (well home based now obvs!) but I travelled a lot with audit before, and that is obviously difficult with a very young child - I was still breastfeeding at night when I went back to work when DD was 13 months.

Sorry I don’t know how helpful that is! Best of luck with it all though.

I trained with one of the Big 4 and had my son at 27. I don't regret it for a moment but there were two big downsides. Firstly, compared to my peers I was pretty young, which did feel hard as none of my friends had kids. Secondly, it did limit my earning potential quite significantly. If you go part-time it's hard for your career not to stagnate. That said, I love being a mum far more than accountancy, so would probably make the same choice again .

I had my first at 27 whilst working for one of the Big 4 (I was a Manager at the time) and I had my second at 29, getting promoted to SM whilst on maternity leave. They were really supportive and I'm pleased I did it when I did. I returned part time and I have still been able to have a decent career.

I think I'm worried about not being in a M/SM position as I'm more disposable and also harder as I'm younger so feels like I'm losing on both fronts!

I want to ideally start a family before 30.
Is there any reason for this totally arbitrary deadline?

I think that the ideal is either have the DC young and then have the career. Or get seniority and then have DC. Starting to have DC at 27 falls between these two - all the disadvantages and none of the advantages!

PS. Don't worry about when you have your first DC. The question should be "what age will I have my last DC?"

Also is it hard to get back to it once you've been off? I find it hard to get back to work after a few weeks off!

Sorry to bombard with lots of questions, really appreciate your responses- don't have a lot of people I can go to atm!

@CaptainWentworth, what sort of secondment opportunities are you looking at? Would you suggest doing that at my stage?

I work in a quality review role so I’m particularly looking at secondments into our technical advisory department to develop that side of things. In audit more generally I know some people take secondments to work with clients but I don’t know how common that is.

I don’t think it’s necessary at all, but as I don’t directly manage anyone or work with clients any more I feel like I need to do other things to develop myself.

Is there anyone slightly more senior at work you could talk to informally about career plans and where you might go in the future? No need to mention baby plans.

I also know of some colleagues who’ve taken secondments into other departments such as tax or transaction services as they weren’t sure they wanted to stay in audit, and they’ve ended up enjoying it and moving across permanently.

Thanks @CaptainWentworth! I'm actually talking to my Line Manager about opportunities. My only concern with a secondment is shall I wait before I start trying or would it be fine to end up pregnant partway through? Don't want it to look like I'm messing around!

(Sorry, me again!)

It was hard in some ways coming back to work, but as several of my colleagues had done the same not long since, they understood and helped ease me back in. If you don’t work with many people with kids that side of things could be harder if colleagues are less understanding of the challenges (eg still having broken sleep!)

It helped that I’d got fed up of maternity leave by that point and was super ready for some time to feel like my old self again.

Agree with PPs though, why the self imposed deadline?

One thing someone said to me once is that there's no 'perfect time' to have a baby but it's worth doing so just do it when you want to.

Can't comment on accountancy as I don't know much about it but 10 months of recent maternity leave doesn't seem to her hindered me (another professional role), although I have gone back full time.

I’m in a professional role, waited to be in management before having my first at 28 then had a second the year after. I wanted to be done having children by 30 and have as much energy and as long with them as possible! It was great going back at that level - not too senior but salary v comfortable. Now they’re slightly bigger (almost both in school), I’m progressing into senior management and it feels like ideal timing.

I'm a CA too though a bit further down the line and mine are teenagers now! I left at manager level and went into industry but then worked for 5 years in 2 different roles before I went on maternity leave.

I'd say that if you want to leave practice and go into industry that it would probably be a good idea to move out and get some experience under your belt before you start a family. Industry has different time pressures and the monthly cycle can be just as pressured as the busy season.

The difference in energy levels between now and 3 years time are negligible! But another few years to build up some savings for years of childcare costs could be the difference between a relaxed maternity leave and a stressed one! Don't underestimate childcare costs - look into costs in your area.

I started Big 4 with a toddler, got qualified and a part time contract there at AM level, promoted to manager before leaving to go to industry after my second maternity leave. I then got promoted quite rapidly in industry as once you've done Big 4 with children you have a certain resilience and if you want it enough there is no reason why being a mother should limit your seniority or earning potential. I've also got happy kids and I love having had them whilst building a career, most people find it unusual but for me it's been refreshing. I think there's no reason why it can't work but you have to be really clear on boundaries and priorities, as well as understanding the short term cost of childcare will pay dividends down the line (my salary has increased 3x from my starting salary approx 10 years ago even with maternity leave and a stint working part time).

I'm a solicitor, not an accountant, but I had my first child at 27. I was a newly qualified solicitor when I found out I was pregnant and much younger than most women I knew at work having their first child. However, I felt it was a good time for me as I hadn't built up significant client relationships or responsibility at that point. I returned after maternity leave 10 months later, working 4 days a week for 6 months with accrued annual leave and then 9 out of every 10 days. I was promoted during that time and had pay increases. I still loved the work but I found myself increasingly exhausted from the tension of wanting to be present at work until 7pm and also spend time with my baby. I left the job when my son was 2.5 years old to work in a similar role in the public sector. I work full time in a fulfilling role now which family friendly policies and practices. I am not sure I would have left private practice when I did were it not for my young son but the decision has been a very positive one for me. I've had to adapt my career but my earnings haven't taken a hit yet (but will likely stagnate compared to private practice) and I don't feel like I've stopped advancing or put my career on the back burner. One thing I will say is that I've chosen to delay having another child until now for various reasons, including wanting to get back on track professionally, and I'm now expecting my second child. I'll be 32 when my new baby is born. I'm earning a fair bit more than I did at 27 and that opens up a lot more choices for us with this baby than we had before.

You’re in a great position, but if I were you, I’d wait another couple of years. I’m in a similar profession and I only now feel (a couple of promotions ahead of you and 4 years older) that I’m senior enough to take the hit of taking mat leave.