How to quit my job after just 2.5 months?

[AnnaDarcey]

Hi :)

I’m a young, single mum (23, 4 year old DD).

Long story short I’ve been at my new (and first) graduate level job for nearly 3 months now. I graduated from uni in the summer. The MD hates me and is making my life a misery.

She is rude and shouted at me for over half an hour last week. Today was the final straw when I sent her a nice email wishing her a happy new year and asking about a meeting coming up this afternoon. She was incredibly nasty and hurtful in her response. Overall her attitude is making me, quite literally, physically ill.

Money isn’t an issue for now so I don’t have to worry about that side of things. Whilst at uni I was self employed and have enough savings to last for a long time whilst I try to find a new job and I can return to my self employment if needs be.

I’ve never resigned before so not sure the protocol. My probation ends mid January and I want to hand in my notice before then (still one month notice period). How do I go about this? Do I hand it into my line manager or HR? Do I have to give a reason for quitting? Should I mention it in person (or rather over zoom) before handing in a formal notice? Should I include this role on my CV when applying for other jobs or leave it off?

I feel awful and like I’m letting everyone else down, as everyone else in the company has been lovely but I just can’t cope with this woman.

Sorry for all the questions, but even if you could answer one that would be great. Thank you in advance!

Email your resignation to HR and your line manager.
Use a benign reason such as the role not being the right fit, to avoid any future reference issues

@Veterinari

Email your resignation to HR and your line manager. Use a benign reason such as the role not being the right fit, to avoid any future reference issues

Thank you for your reply :)

I was thinking of using the classic line “it’s not the right fit”. Do you think it’s an idea to speak with my line manager first so she is not blindsided? She might think my resignation is coming out of nowhere and we have a good working relationship.

The MD sounds like a bully and I doubt you are the only one to get treated this way.

I wouldn't resign, at least not straight away.

I would personally go to my doctor and ask to be signed off for mental health reasons as the bullying was affecting my mental health. I would then use the time off sick to submit a formal grievance to HR. I would also use that time to job search. If matters not resolved / no new job by the time sick leave ends - then I would resign.

Dont get signed off sick with MH issues unless it’s necessary, you May have to declare this to future employers and sadly it may not go down well
You have not been there long enough to have any employment rights unless you have a protected characteristic that you have declared.
Unfortunately I think you should just resign now, depending on your contract you may only need to give 1 weeks notice, do this either in person or f2f with your line manager

Sorry I see you have 1 months notice.
The MD might just want you to go and pay you in lieu

I'd tell her to shove it and walk out. If you've only been there 2.5 months you don't need to worry about references as you can just leave it off your CV

No one should be getting shouted at when they are at work by anyone. Sorry you had to deal with that! Are you certain you still have one months notice when you are on probation? I'd check that.

Regardless though, all you have to say in your letter is please accept this as notice of my resignation. My last day will be xx/xx/xx. Thank you for the opportunity.

Thank you everyone for replying. I truly appreciate it.

I found the job challenging but interesting. It’s just the MD is making life unbearable for me. My MH hasn’t been great with the lockdown, and my father was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer a week before Christmas.

To then have the MD shout at me for over half an hour for what I admit was a error on my part (I sent an email without her approval, as she was on leave I had a different senior colleague sign it off which I thought was sufficient), when I was in my own home completely shattered my MH. Over the bank holiday weekend I told myself I should try and make it work in the new year but the nasty and vindictive email she sent me this afternoon was the last straw.

I hate confrontation and find it very difficult to stand up for myself which makes it more difficult. My contract is very clear my notice period is 1 month during my probation and then 3 months once it ends (my probation ends in 2 weeks) so don’t think I can get out of it.

Thanks again everyone for replying. Anna x

@CoronaIsWatching

I'd tell her to shove it and walk out. If you've only been there 2.5 months you don't need to worry about references as you can just leave it off your CV

This made me laugh. I wish I could but I think any potential employer will notice from my P45 and other tax records that I was employed there and would ask about it 😅 Anna x

Is there any possibility of a transfer to another team.

@AnnaDarcey my friend has done this the last day before Christmas leave due to the same reasons. He did move from Wales to London and put “it’s not the right fit etc” rather than the CEO is making my life hell! Like I told him, life is too short to be unhappy in a job if you can survive without it. Hope it works out for you

They can't actually hold you to 1 month although if you don't do it they might be less helpful with reference.

I would just have a polite but honest conversation with your line manager just before handing your notice in. Allegations of bullying (which is what is happening) should always be investigated. No need to put it in writing though, as you don't have to give any reasons when you resign.

@Viviennemary

Is there any possibility of a transfer to another team.

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately not. It is a very small company and the MD is in line to become CEO when the current CEO retires in June so there is no way I can avoid her if I decide to stay.

Thank you for your input. I agree, I’d rather leave now and spend some happy time with my DD whilst looking for a new opportunity.

@Grumpycatsmum

They can't actually hold you to 1 month although if you don't do it they might be less helpful with reference.

I would just have a polite but honest conversation with your line manager just before handing your notice in. Allegations of bullying (which is what is happening) should always be investigated. No need to put it in writing though, as you don't have to give any reasons when you resign.

Hi, thanks for your reply. I’m eager to get a reference from them so I don’t want to p*ss them off too much by leaving early in breach of the contract I signed. I think I could get a decent enough reference from my line manager but have a horrid feel the MD might forbid it.

@AnnaDarcey

Thank you everyone for replying. I truly appreciate it.

I found the job challenging but interesting. It’s just the MD is making life unbearable for me. My MH hasn’t been great with the lockdown, and my father was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer a week before Christmas.

To then have the MD shout at me for over half an hour for what I admit was a error on my part (I sent an email without her approval, as she was on leave I had a different senior colleague sign it off which I thought was sufficient), when I was in my own home completely shattered my MH. Over the bank holiday weekend I told myself I should try and make it work in the new year but the nasty and vindictive email she sent me this afternoon was the last straw.

I hate confrontation and find it very difficult to stand up for myself which makes it more difficult. My contract is very clear my notice period is 1 month during my probation and then 3 months once it ends (my probation ends in 2 weeks) so don’t think I can get out of it.

Thanks again everyone for replying. Anna x

You didn't just decide for yourself to send this email, you referred the matter to someone more senior than yourself, and they took the decision to sign the work off, not you. Speak to the different senior colleague and tell them exactly what you have told us, and that you have received a bollocking for it.

Save all these emails where she has had a go at you in a separate folder, and print them out as well. They might come in useful if you have to defend yourself with HR, and if you have paper copies then they can't be mysteriously deleted from your emails, can they?

I did mention it to them but they assured me that the MD wasn’t that annoyed with me (I didn’t mention I had been yelled at for half an hour). I also didn’t want it to come across as though I was deflecting blame and thought I better own up to my mistake although I did explain my thinking and the fact that it had been signed off my someone else. She wasn’t having any of it. She said I wasn’t taking the role seriously and that I was “not a team player” and “over eager” followed by a very long and angry email the next morning. She cc’d in the whole company, which was pretty humiliating. I can hand on heart say I did my very best and did what I thought was right.

I spoke to another colleague about it and he told me I absolutely have to run every single external email by the MD. No exceptions and no matter how minor or insignificant I think they may be.

The problem was she was on leave all of last week and it needed to go out before the New Year. Hey ho I can’t change the past!

@blacksax

Save all these emails where she has had a go at you in a separate folder, and print them out as well. They might come in useful if you have to defend yourself with HR, and if you have paper copies then they can't be mysteriously deleted from your emails, can they?

I’ve take a screen shot of them all but don’t think I can do much with them. It’s a small company and she is set to become the CEO in the summer so I doubt anyone would be willing to stand up to her on my behalf. Anna x

I wouldn't worry too much about the reference. These days, most companies only provide factual references, stating nothing more than the period of time you worked there.

Honestly, you're over-thinking it. As you are financially able to, write your resignation letter tonight (just as @amber763 says, no need for explanation), stick to the facts: 'please accept my resignation as of today, 5/1/21. As per my contract I hereby give one month's notice, therefore my last day will be 3/2/21' sign it and email it to your line manager and HR.

If your whole company has been privy to your MD's tantrums they will hardly require an explanation.

Life's too short and you don't owe them anything. Good luck

Don’t put it on your cv.

Tell your manager you're going to resign. Id use the lockdown as an excuse. You want to be able to support your daughter and as you've only started, don't think its fair to ask the business for the level of flexibility you'd need. Ask your manager how she'd like to manage your notice period. Hopefully she'd be happy to let you go immediately. Bonus if they pay you.

Email a written resignation to your boss - keep it simple. "To confirm our discussion, please take this as my resignation."

Don't include it on your CV. If asked by a future employer, explain that you were very briefly in role but resigned due to the pandemic / caring responsibilities and weren't there long enough to consider it relevant.