Quit well paid job due to school closure stress

[Skylor]

We could survive with DH income / my savings while i take time out to retrain in something, but it's risky given 1) recession 2) old job is in a very niche area and i won't get it back nor is it very transferrable 3) going anywhere else i'd have to work my way up all over again.. 4) what if DH loses his job

It was hard last year but at least the nursery reopened for my younger.. My elder took it badly, tearful tempers, shouting back and throwing things in anger when it comes to doing some work like reading (i'm not pushy at all). Endless bickering. We found a part time nanny but it didnt work out. He gradually became calmer again when he returned to school in autumn. This is on top of a stressful time at work just a lot more work and recruitment freeze and everyone being arsey. I'm expecting prolonged school closures with dread.

I'm just very, very tired. Working all hours with a difficult DS, all holidays taken to just look after own children. DH is great and helpful (he also took time off for childcare) and is hands on with housework etc when he can, but i think both of us in full on jobs while seemingly manageable on paper, is taking a toll on us all in reality.

Completely understand. Have recently returned to work after maternity and finding it all overwhelming. Nursery keeps closing due to cases and DS keeps having to isolate. So stressful working with a 19mo, juggling our jobs. Have considered packing it all in many times!

Thanks @MrsCremuel I hope nursery remains open for you! Can't begin to imagine how it is possible to work with a toddler.

If your job is well paid have you though about hiring a mothers help or personal assistant to help with childcare and homeschooling in the short term.

Completely understand. My sister handed in her notice last week - was earning £50k pa. She couldn't handle the stress of homeschooling and kids so enough was enough. I've never seen her so happy. She said she finally managed to have a decent night's sleep due to reduced anxiety and stress.

Can you say a bit more about the "part time nanny didn't work out" thing? Because, presuming you can afford it and you didn't want an excuse to quit and retrain anyway, that sounds like the obvious solution, and a lot better than quitting.

Thanks @hugbear glad to hear I'm not the only one. Well it's paid out since she has a month and half at least with half my stress!

Re nanny, on hindsight she was better with babies and toddlers but couldnt really control the boy or do any reading. Ended up running amok, watching a lot of movies and eating nuggets and chips etc. Not end of world but I could have done that myself with a lot less cost and the same stress. I was expecting her to take them out a lot more. It was expensive (£14ph net) plus paye and payroll cost. I've had brilliant nannies before so this was just the wrong fit.

A mothers help may work better if I can find someone.

You're right I might be finding an excuse to quit and muddling work and home stressors. But it is stressful! I just feel like walking out on work as obviously I wouldnt quit my kids.

Can you ask for parental leave? It's unpaid and you are meant to give notice but you are entitled to 16 weeks for each DC. Would give you a bit of breathing space without making any big decisions.

At my firm asking for a sabbatical at this time will be viewed as unequivocal career suicide. I'd be 'managed out' at next chance whether or not they grant it.

But obviously a workplace like this isn't worth hanging on to anyway.

Does anyone know if it will be picked up in references - will it state your full tenure including when you were on unpaid leave?