Quitting PGCE after four months? Looking for advice

[DishSoap]

(copied from academic common room forum-- just looking for as much advice as possible!)

I have been studying/working for a PGCE since September 2020, and it's safe to say that it's destroying my mental health. I absolutely loathe it. I dread waking up every morning and I feel physically ill when I leave the house and 7.15am for the hour-long commute to a school that's less than five miles away (thank you, rural English public transport!).

I've had major depressive disorder for around a decade now, so I'm not suggesting that the PGCE is responsible for bringing it on. Not at all. However, it seems obvious to me that it is exacerbating it. I constantly feel like I'm at breaking point and that I'm on the verge of bursting into tears and literally walking out and running away.

My heart was absolutely 100% in this when the course began but now I just hate it. Am I a completely pathetic, idiotic failure if I leave the course before completing it? Am I dooming myself to a life of zero career prospects? If I were an employer, I probably wouldn't think a whole lot of someone who quit a course after a couple of months.

Sorry for being such a doomer! Just genuinely feeling quite terrible at the moment.

Do you think you might want to complete your PGCE if your mental health were better?
I second the advice to talk openly with your university link tutor whatever, but if you think you might want to complete the course later, 'interrupting' may well be a possible alternative to withdrawal. Eg. www.ucl.ac.uk/students/student-status/changes-your-studies/interrupting-or-withdrawing-your-studies

You are still on training and it's too much. Give it up do something else. Life's too short. Actual teaching is more stressful than the PGCE training.

I am another one who quit. I developed panic disorder. It took me 18 months (9 months of that counselling) to get back to myself and 5 years on and off anti-depressants.
It's a ridiculously stressful career!

Putting aside your feelings about the commute and the course, how do you feel about the school environment, pupils etc? If you’re hating the teaching then you’d be better leaving now and moving on. If you’re liking the teaching but frustrated by the course / commute etc then stick at it; there are just a few months left and then you’ll be able to find a job in a more convenient location (or be earning more and able to move?)

No of course it’s not a disaster, maybe it’s just not for you.

However if you really wanted to do it, have you tired to tackle the issue from different angles?? - have you been to see Gp re meds/CBT, to see you course tutor for support / extending by a year etc..,. I guess the question is - are you sure you don’t want to teach, or is it the course has hit you hard - if the latter worth trying to work around it.

I'm a teacher ( with a student in at the moment ). When my niece started her PGCE , my advice to her ...it's a very demanding course ... get yourself a car ... the travel on public transport is something you can do without .

Actually, that's a really good point about is the school a toxic environment@mdh2020 Our school wasn't great. For example, the head didn't speak to us, at all, even in passing, the entire time we were there. Teachers had individual coffee jars in the staff room (about 40 of them, with names on ) and two NQT referred to us in our presence (cos there were two of us, thank the lord) as 'the students' constantly. Given we both were about 10 yrs older than them, seemed to be a bit off and indeed rude. My tutor teacher was fabulous however. Both myself and other student gave up after that. And neither of us were faint hearted, think both with forces type, sharp-end background. The people on the course who carried on seemed to be at schools where they were nicer to them, and were not toxic. No coincidence, methinks.

Sorry, I was referring to @mdh2020 's point.

Is any of this helping OP?

Teaching is pretty much impossible in 2021 unless you have a lot of support at home, live very locally to your school and have a pragmatic head who actually wants to retain staff through implementing procedures to reduce workload. I count myself very very lucky to fit this criteria.

It's just not for you. Turnover is massive for a reason. NQT year is worse and the following year is worse still, when you lose your extra PPA. I'd call it a day and look for something else.

Teaching is not easy, it's long hours, unpredictable day on day, you have so many bonds to form relationships to build, under constant scrutiny, relatively little pay with few prospects of promotion. It absolutely takes over your life, never have a work life balance. Think I'm talking myself out of my own job. If your feeling this bad now it's not going to get easier- get out while you still can!

I rejected my PGCE place. Teaching was all I'd really wanted to do, but I did some classroom practice in the last year of my undergrad degree and changed my mind! I think it takes courage to admit it's not for you and teaching is not the sort of job you should, or can, do half heartedly for whatever reason. No job is worth your mental health or happiness. It's bloody scary but I don't think any employer would regard you on a negative light for being honest and you can very much spin it to your advantage. I fell into an admib job because I had no idea what to do. I decided to make a go of it and progress my career (even though I didn't really see it as a career in the beginning). 15 years in, I'm really happy I made the decisions I did workwise.

I started cover supervisor work (unqualified supply teacher) last November and did it up until the schools closed recently. Quite liked it and intending to so some when they reopen. I was talking to a teacher at the school who said the job had some really good aspects about a decade ago but not now and he wouldn't recommend it to anyone who was thinking about going into it now. I have been weighing up doing the training as I think I'm suited to it but I can't help but be put off by how stressful I hear it is. This was in secondary schools.

I nearly quit at Christmas in my PGCE but didn’t. Got a job with a great department and enjoyed it. Moved schools years later and had a complete mental breakdown. The job is so different depending on the school, SLT and colleagues. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be doing a PGCE this year though. But when I got to the point of feeling ill at the thought of going in and fantasising about crashing the car en route, I had to leave immediately. Put your mental health first.

I'd absolutely hate to be a teacher so I'm possibly biased. But I think if you hate the training you're not going to like the job. This goes for most jobs not specifically teaching.

I know exactly what you mean, I hated my first placement (second was okay), it was a constant, miserable grind. I did find a nice village school to teach at for my NQT year, but, like many schools around here, it was taken over by a ruthless academy chain not long after I joined, and it was back to being horrible. I ended up leaving in the end as an RQT anyway because one of my kids developed health problems and I couldn't cope with it all. In retrospect I wish I had just seen the red flags in my PGCE year instead of stubbornly sticking with it!

Hi all, thanks so much for all your replies and advice. The past few days have been pretty awful for me mental-health wise (hence the lack of replies here), but I've been in contact with my uni and have been getting a lot of support from their end. I haven't mentioned it to my placement school (obviously), though, so it looks like the next while will be quite stressful with moving towards taking on online teaching of full classes. I'm meeting with my course tutor twice a week for the foreseeable future to check in and see how I feel about continuing. If I can make it past February half term, I think I'll hold out and finish it so I have the qualification to show for the year (and the money!), but if that's not doable then I'll either get signed off by my doctor and complete the placement later or just give it up. Unfortunately changing travel isn't an option right now-- the public transport here is terrible and I can't drive due to the medications I take.

The very, very good news, though, is that I feel comfortable telling people when there's a problem now and with prioritising my mental health. This is something that has always been a problem for me.

Glad you're getting support from your uni DishSoap I'm a firm believer that whatever happens it ends up being for the best in the long run. I'm sure it will for you too, whatever you decide.

@DishSoap
I’m really pleased that you’ve spoken to your uni tutor and they’ve been able to support you. Could they consider a change in placement school for an easier commute for you?

I would also encourage you to speak to either your in school mentor or the ITTCO. They will be able to do things in the short term to help you get things on a more even keel - looking at the timetable, adjusting the lessons you’re teaching, reliving you of some elements of the role.

I’m a very experienced ITTCO and I would really want to know so I could put in some additional support for a few weeks. I’ve done this many times in the past in consultation with the trainee and mentor at in 90% of cases that’s has helped the situation and the trainee has been able to continue to the end of the training year.
Bring it up in your mentor meeting or email the ittco and ask for a chat.