Thought I'd bounce this one off the collective wisdom of Mumsnet as DH & I are having some issues with this....
Our au pair, aged 21, who has been with us for 18 months, and with whom we have got on with very well up til now, has recently got a boyfriend.
As a result, she is out late more often. Up til now, she used to be out late on Fri / Sat (unless babysitting) and that didn't bother us - as far as we were concerned, she was off at weekends, and that was her social life. We agreed at an early stage that she would tell us if she was going to be 'late' (defined by us as after 11.30 pm)or away o/n at weekends and we wouldn't worry/ would lock up etc and go to bed.
Problem now is that she's out later and later many more nights of the week (Sun - Thurs).
DH has had some problems sleeping recently and he says it's just one more thing that's keeping him awake - worrying a bit about her, and wondering what time she'll come back. He feels quite protective/ responsible towards her I think. I've tried to be a bit more relaxed (remembering what I was like at 21 ) but I must admit I do too sometimes find it hard to get to sleep until I know she's safely home.
When she does come home, she's very quiet, doesn't make any noise or wake the kids, but we both tend to be 'aware'.
DH wants to ask her to be in by 11.30 pm Sun - Thurs nights, but I wonder if that's being a bit too 'parental' - one one hand, she IS 21, but then on the other it IS our house, and it is beginning to have an impact on us....