Career/Self Employment - do I just give up?

[hortsy]

Hi all,

Just looking for opinions/advice please if I may? Or if anybody has been through something similar, please bear with me!

For the last 9 years, I've felt really miserable at work, I have tried to do something about it, I've changed companies twice but still feel the same, kind of depressed, unfulfilled, low energy and feel really disillusioned with companies - I'm really hard working and want to work, I'm on really good money (£40k) and full-time, I am grateful I have a job and a good paying one at this time.

I've worked with a careers coach who advised me to go self employed, and said this is the only way I would be happy, (if I was in total control and set my own culture) that's fine, but in what? I've always been in a company in different sectors (large and small) for 23 years as some form of business support, I could set up as a virtual assistant or project manager or similar, but I don't feel like I want to do office type work - even though people say doing it for myself would give me a different perspective. I've volunteered in different things to see if anything 'fits' but so far nothing appeals, I've recently qualified as a life coach, as I felt I wanted more of a people role and more satisfaction, but I don't love this, (it's hit and miss depending on clients) yet others on my course do love it and have left similar paying jobs to try and make a go of it full-time.

I do like being around people, which concerns me going self-employed, networking once a fortnight to fill this gap doesn't cut it for me and of course an unpredicatable salary - I do value safety and security, I also don't have a partner to rely on. I've tried coaching on the side (as could do this self-employed) and could perhaps try and get a bit of freelance work in admin to see how I feel dealing with my own clients - but I don't feel like my heart is in any of it, I just don't get why I'm like this and how others can find their calling or take huge risks.

I've made lists of what I like and don't like but it really doesn't help, I've even looked at various franchises, this calls for more money, I'm not massively passionate about anything or anything I could turn from a hobby into an income.

I guess my question is I cannot get it out of my head that the career coach advised self-employment is the only way I can be happy and that I need to keep going and take the risk, even if it isn't something which excites me.

Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

I wouldn’t I’m your shoes. Not sure what you do now but have you ever considered doing an HR qualification?

They didn’t tell you to go SE then offer to sell you a franchise did they?
Being SE isn’t for everyone, it’s hard. Yes you get a certain amount of freedom and autonomy but there’s a lot of pressure as well and you give up a lot to do it.
Just saying be SE is pretty useless to be honest

@LouiseTrees

I work on projects, either as a Project Manager or a support role depending on what's required.
I have yes, I think I'll check out the related career paths again though, thank-you.

@Hoppinggreen

Thanks, no I wasn't offered a franchise! I thought the same thing about just being told to go to SE, not like I have a trade or something to make the switch either, I'm not even practical!
I assume you speak from experience of SE?

Just not sure how I'm going to find satisfaction.

I was SE for 13 years, really enjoyed it, although I was glad DH had a steady income at times
WhenCovid hit I went employed and I have to say despite my misgivings it’s worked out well. When I was off over Christmas I was getting paid!
I no longer have to worry about being ill and when I calculate the cost of a holiday I won’t have to include money lost by not working. Having to ask for days off is a pain though.
I probably would go SE again but not for now, I am enjoying the job and the medical insurance and pension are nice.
Just telling someone to go SE is a bit ridiculous IMO

There's a good organisation called Career Switchers - that might help you to figure out what you want.

Telling someone to go SE is really bad advice if they don't actually have the enthusiasm, knowledge, rock sold business plan, and aptitude. I'm a small business accountant, so see a lot of new "business" start ups. It's clear to see why the statistics show the majority don't last beyond their first couple of years. Most havn't a clue. That's not a criticism of them, it's a criticism of the system and other "experts" who glibly give the message that SE is easy and rewarding. I'd say at least half the newly self employed I see go scurrying back to being employed within 18 months.

I agree. I have done some small business mentoring and unfortunately a lot of people go SE because they can’t find a job or are unhappy at work

@partyatthepalace - thanks, I'll take a look.

@Hoppinggreen, @user1497207191

Thanks both. I believe I was partly advised SE as I do have an exceptional work ethic, quick learner, am pretty smart and motivated (even in jobs I'm unhappy in), but all of which doesn't help me when I can't identify any areas I'm particularly drawn to. I get that SE is hard, the regular pay packet of a company is easy, hence I haven't leapt into anything.

You also hear that people never look back once they take the leap, unless Covid or otherwise, like yourself @hoppingreen, but from what's been said that also doesn't appear to be the case.

Have you guys worked with any franchisees? Still hard work to get clients I'm sure, but I'm told they have less chance of failure, again could be incorrect info.

If there was one gift I could give people starting a business it would be the ability to sell - both yourself and your service/product
If you can’t or dont want to sell there’s no point. Doesn’t matter how great everything else is if you don’t sell it people won’t buy it.
You can learn of course, I used to teach Selling skills for non sales people courses but if it’s something you are unhappy with (like a lot of people) then I doubt you will be successful

I’m self employed and love it, in my industry you earn much more bring self employed and as a woman I can set the tone for my workplace.

However you need to have a reason to be self employed! Ie a business idea or that you like being away from the office. I hate office politics and other people so working for myself is heaven. You don’t sound like that’s you !

I’d just keep on researching what interests you in business, stick with your job and if going self employed in a role you can offer to businesses you could do it part time to start?

@Stepintochristmas

Thanks for the advice. Work is one area of 'life', pure coaching allows the client to come to their own conclusions, the coach doesn't advise. I do help a charity with some coaching/mentoring (voluntary) helping people with mock interviews etc, to help them back to work, which is different again. But yes, 'life' coaching doesn't sit quite right with me, I guess coaching is still a skill which can be used elsewhere.

Yes you're right, far too vague being advised to go self-employed, tbh I've felt so much more stressed since thinking I have to find an answer in that direction, if I was a tradesman who are probably generally in demand, I might not hesitate.

@Hoppinggreen

Thanks and understood,...yes it's probably the biggest factor for sure, selling, networking etc.

Thank-you @Bigpaintinglittlepainting

What do you do self-employed? I'm really pleased that you love it. Office politics are a mare and getting worse I think! But you're right I do like being around people, well certain ones anyway

Ha I’m a head gardener and designer ! Totally different industry to you, but I feel you can apply the same principles to many industries. I aim to work for people who value what I do, I charge accordingly and to my experience. Being female is a bonus too.

I've worked with a careers coach who advised me to go self employed, and said this is the only way I would be happy, (if I was in total control and set my own culture)

No careers coach should be advising you what to do, that’s unethical and inappropriate. How on earth could they know you would never be happy unless self-employed?

Are you sure you haven’t misunderstood them?

A good career coach should be a member of a professional body such as the ICF, and follow their code of ethics which includes being clear that coaching is not advice.

There is a good body of evidence around professional coaching, and the positive impact it can have. This does not extend to random people who have just decided to call themselves a coach - the best way to find a good coach is to go through one of the professional bodies, they will also give advice on what to look for/ask about.

What industries have you worked in? Maybe look for one where it 'contributes'? Would project managing a new radiography wing for cancer patients be more rewarding?

I was a Contractor and DH still is so I don’t necessarily Equate being SE with running a business - although we do it through a ltd co. so to a certain extent we actually are.
It comes with a lot of the same stress (and advantages) especially since the govt doesn’t seem to like Contractors very much. It is slightly tense too at renewal time.

@Bigpaintinglittlepainting

Sounds amazing, creative and rewarding!

@endlesscraziness

Primarily Engineering, IT, Environment (waste & recycling) sectors - I think by training to be a 'coach' I was looking for something 'softer', yes good advice and something I''m certainly leaning towards as my next move.

@Hoppinggreen

Yes, the ever impending IR35.

@Lumene

Thanks, yes I definitely haven't misunderstood, it surfaced in every question.