Maternity leave

[Dalmation15]

Hi all,
I'm am currently on maternity leave and due to go back to work in March. At first, the end of maternity leave was the last thing in my mind, but as the date gets closer, i am getting so stressed.
I cry almost every day at the thought of it! I'm not anywhere near ready to leave my baby with strangers and we have no family that can help as they all work too.
I work in an office, but my job cannot be done part time, but my full time wage is less then what full time childcare would cost me.
My issue is, me and baby's dad currently have a mortgage and bills to pay as well as normal household expenses (food, fuel, things for baby etc).
Is there any option for these situations? Has anyone else experienced the same?!
I just feel so trapped now...

Ps. I am only on SMP so won't have to pay back to my employer if I do t return.

Has anything changed? What was your original plan with regards to returning to work and for childcare? How long have you been off?

Honestly, you will be fine. I felt just like you with my first, gave up my job and spent 2 years as a stsy at home parent. I slowly lost my identity and independence and HATED being reliant on DH even if it was shared family money so I went back to work. Fast forward 6 years, second baby and felt the same but went back to work after 12 months and after a few days of the new routine and realising the baby was absolutely fine I've never looked back. Had 2 more since and both times gone back after 12 months. At one time I made no money at all due to childcare costs but now, I am so much better off as I've stayed employed, been promoted etc so financially much better off than if I'd given up for say 10 years and then tried to get back to it. Don't be scared to go back if you choose to, babies adapt and will be absolutely fine

Nothing has changed. I just never expected the thought of leaving baby and going back to work would be so difficult for me.
So, I was put on furlough in March, but my maternity leave started in June.
I was advised I can apply for flexible working with the chance it may be rejected, and have since had that request rejected
My job is 45mins away from my house (in traffic) so would need childcare from 7am - 5pm daily and my wages just won't cover that... I also didn't actually realise how expensive full time childcare was.
I was in the process of applying for jobs when I fell pregnant, that were more local and better pay/hours but baby came earlier then planned (was on birth control but it happens 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Don't forget about the childcare tax scheme, that helps a lot. And its temporary, taking a hit and earning not a lot or even nothing for a few years is much better than having to start again at the bottom when your children go to school.

Look at nurseries closer to work than home so it's a shorter day?

I know the feeling. I go back in February and I’m on some kinda wierd countdown in my head.. I have done some KIT days and actually loved them though. Have you looked into the government scheme (every £8 you pay they top it up £2)? That is going to help us massively when I go back in Feb. Also I found a childminder was £17 a day cheaper than nursery.

It makes no sense to go back to work if you pay more in childcare than you earn. Quit and go on universal credit and look for part time work?

@apricotta it makes every sense if you are in a decent position, because while short term you don't make much, you are still working, gaining more experience, being promoted, and most importantly investing in your pension!!

I know the feeling. I was meant to go back first week of December but took all my annual leave which means I will be going back in January. Can you take annual leave to have a bit more time? Like you I was in the process of applying for jobs when I fell pregnant. My current job is 45mins to an hour away. I have started to apply again, to get something a bit more close to home. I have a childminder who will look after my daughter whilst I work. On the short term, financially it's not worth it but long term it keeps my foot in the door.

When I returned to work post DD1 we lost money as child care cost more than I earned.
It did keep my career path open though, so when DH lost his job when DC were 2 and 4, I was able to support the family.
I should note that I did not enjoy being a SAHM so was able to justify the cost in my mind.

[quote ChablisandCrisps]@apricotta it makes every sense if you are in a decent position, because while short term you don't make much, you are still working, gaining more experience, being promoted, and most importantly investing in your pension!![/quote]
Plus OP says "baby's dad". This might just be a turn of phrase but if she's not married to the father even more reason to keep working.

Also, speaking as someone who's DH has just lost his job, I am unbelievably thankful I work too.

Its not just your wages that would cover childcare, it is a joint expense and would come out of both of your salaries.

I was in that financial predicament when I had my DD. But I went back with the goal to make more money. Within a year I was promoted and then a year after that again. If I had stayed at home I would struggle to get a job a few years down the line let alone progress my career.

I am now able to afford nursery, mortgage, everything by myself should my DP lose his job, or for some reason we break up. It was hard for the first two years but I never regret the decision.

Have you looked at childminders - usually cheaper than nurseries

I will say that a baby and a toddler are two different entities, 1-3 are physically exhausting years and you may be grateful for a break by returning to work, even if partime.

Only you know your finances as to whether you can’t afford to work or afford not to Work

Are you applying for nearer and/or part time jobs?

Have you investigated how much help you’d get with childcare costs?

Have you looked at childminders or other childcare that might be cheaper?

If there’s not time before March to sort it out, don’t forget you can have up to a year maternity leave.

I had 2 maternity leaves and the thought of going back to work was horrendous each time. But the anticipated was much worse than the reality. It takes a.while to settle back in, but I did become glad of the time to be me, see grown ups etc.

If you want a closer to home job then start looking for one now. You still have a job to fall back on if it takes a while.

I felt the same and for that reason have left. However, I saved enough from DS1 mat leave pay and DS2 to enable me to have an additional 18months off work on ‘mat leave’ effectively paying myself what I was getting on my year off. It means that at the end of this DS will nearly be in school and I’ll go back to work hopefully to fit in with that

Thank you for all your suggestions!
The problem with my job, is there is no chance of any sort of promotion... so the wage in on now; that's it!
My only chance was another job which pays
more, which was why I was searching beforehand :)

Childcare will cost more then my wage at my current job, but searching for a new job may take a while as I was searching for a while before I fell pregnant.
Me & my baby's dad are together and living together and he does earn a decent wage, but I don't like the thought of not having any sort of money of my own 😩 I haven't actually looked at childminders, so I will have a search now! I just don't trust people very easy.

Why wouldn't you have any money of your own? You aren't responsible for paying all the nursery fees.

Is you DP worried about the cost etc? Hat is he trying to do to sort this out?

Don't forget its only very expensive for 3 years, then gets a bit cheaper when the 30hrs kicks in

@Lazypuppy

Why wouldn't you have any money of your own? You aren't responsible for paying all the nursery fees.

Is you DP worried about the cost etc? Hat is he trying to do to sort this out?

Don't forget its only very expensive for 3 years, then gets a bit cheaper when the 30hrs kicks in

This!

You. Wes to consider childcare a cost to both of you not just you.

Also consider the effect to your career/NI & pension if you did not go back to work or changes to part time.

Remember these are all personal decisions so you need to decide what's best for you & your family.

I meant if I don't got back to work, I wouldn't have any money of of own! My partner is fully aware that childcare costs are ours not just mine. 

Also, I didn't like my job, which is why I was looking for another job before I fell pregnant. It just happened earlier then planned...

Your maternity leave started in June, you can delay your return to work until then, meanwhile looking for another job, closer to home / better / part time. You will feel differently in June about returning to work! You might decide not to, but you have time.

@Dalmation15

Nothing has changed. I just never expected the thought of leaving baby and going back to work would be so difficult for me. So, I was put on furlough in March, but my maternity leave started in June. I was advised I can apply for flexible working with the chance it may be rejected, and have since had that request rejected My job is 45mins away from my house (in traffic) so would need childcare from 7am - 5pm daily and my wages just won't cover that... I also didn't actually realise how expensive full time childcare was. I was in the process of applying for jobs when I fell pregnant, that were more local and better pay/hours but baby came earlier then planned (was on birth control but it happens 🤷🏼‍♀️)

That is a very long day to leave a baby in Nursery unless your partner can drop them off later ? i would look for a new job closer to home and part time or something that fits around your partners working hours so you aren't paying huge amounts of childcare. You may be able to claim help with childcare costs by claiming Universal credit but it qwill depend on your earnings.