Which job do I take?

[radiateforme]

I have two job offers. I think I would enjoy both jobs. The one I would definitely prefer is an hour away, so 2 hours driving a day, 10 or so hours less a week with my toddler, and therefore £200+ extra a month in childcare. It's directly linked to my degree. The other job, which I think I would enjoy less, but would still enjoy (and it is also in a center of police excellence with huge opportunity for progression) is a 10 minute drive away, near the childminder, pays a tiny bit less but would save a massive amount in fuel and childcare, and is flexible with a flexible working policy.

I know you can't truly know the answer to this, but if you HAD to give me a straight answer, which would you choose?

The second one, for lifestyle and career opportunities.

Take the second one.

However much you enjoy your job you will end up resenting the longer commute. And if you have to be the first emergency contact for your nursery, being an hour away is less than ideal.

Ten minute trip to work is a joy. You can be further away when your children are a bit older?

That commute is every single day - and if it's rush hour it could be more. It's stressful getting back to the child care before they fine you for being late, and it'll be stressful

Personally I'd take the second unless it was not a direction I wanted to take , particularly with the progression part

Good luck with whatever you chose 🤩

The second one. The opportunity for progression, and the flexibility/shorter commute are huge benefits.

Argh it's such a tough decision. I also feel guilty that I've even interviewed for the other one as it is so far away.

The second one.

I'd personally go for the 2nd one for the quick commute and progression opportunities, and you'll obviously save on childcare costs too as you said.

Second one for sure!

One hour isn’t a massive commute although if you’re driving you’re “ on” the whole time. I would choose the one you really want ideally - is there any negotiation regarding working from home or compressed hours? What are the options for onward profession ? Who would be available for drop offs / pick ups? Is there family support. Depending on the answer and bearing in mind the salaries I might go for the nearer one.

@divebar I'm a lone parent to a 2 yr old. Family are around but grandparents still in work and work very long hours. It is in an inpatient secure unit so no room for working from home or flexibility at all. But, I do think I would enjoy it more

Second one

Well done on securing two jobs! Without a child, I would have been tempted to go for the first one but in your situation, I would go for the second one. I have found it so much easier being close to nursery/school for drop off and pick up but also in case of illness. Best of luck whatever you choose.

Opportunity for progression with 2nd makes it an easier choice. Is there a big pat difference? Don't underestimate how draining a log commute is every day. I've noticed those most complaining about WFH and missing the office seem to have short commutes.

*pay difference

Sorry but I’m going to say the second one. I know it’s frustrating but having flexibility in a job is such a godsend. I’ve moved from quite a cool job into a much less interesting one because it was a much less commute and because it gave me the opportunity to work from home. Can you imagine coping with job 1 during the last year? It’s the sacrifice I made because I chose to have DD. My DH has made sacrifices too. I hope the second job won’t take you too far away from your dream job and you can resume that interest further on down the line.

How different are the roles and how easy would it be to get back into your degree related field in a few years?

Also have you worked in a secure unit before? It’s rewarding but very emotionally draining, I would personally find that + 2 hours of commuting + single parenting a toddler to be really hard

I think as well as a lone patent to a two year old you don't want always to be facing an inner conflict - to be feeling you are selling someone short.

You are clearly a skilled and caring, dedicated professional and also parent - and daughter. Your own parents are still in work and you are loath to put an additional burden on them in terms of expecting them To pick up your slack or be your Safety net. You already feel a bit guilty (though I don't think you need to) for even interviewing for the job further away. You will therefore I suspect feel even more guilty about the time you will be away from your daughter.

Three potential tensions there already - professional, parental and familial - that could weigh you done horribly and yet you can pretty much avoid just by taking the job close at hand and knowing the balance over your life is all in your favour.

Reading back my last comment it's completely incoherent. But I think you get the gist!

Definitely the second job. As a single parent you need to prioritise your child Imo

Quality of life and being nearer to child would always trump more wages for me, especially if l was a single parent.

Close one. No one wants to lose so many hours to commuting.

Second one

I would go for job 2 for the progression. An hours commute to work is fairly standard but l think it’s good to think about the future and development/ progression. Have you worked in secure units before? In case you haven’t l thought it worth mentioning it’s a bit marmite. I like it but lots don’t

2nd one, because of child in nursery.

Second one without a doubt.