Back in the middle of October I was offered a job in mental health at an organisation I have always wanted to work for, and was made up to get it. However, (ironically) over the last month or two I have been floored by the worst depression I have ever had, and stuff going on in my family and personal life just seem to be becoming more and more unmanageable - to the point where I can't function properly because of the weight of it all.
I am working from home every day, and I can just about manage that, so dreading when I will have to go out and about more. I have a case load of 25 and that is also very emotionally demanding given the nature of the clients issues - they would never guess i was feeling the way I am as perfectly professional and 'competent'. I feel like a fraud. I was up at 2am looking at my contract and considering quitting. However, it is a fixed term contract and I have only been there 8 weeks....I would be really letting them down and can't leave them in the lurch. There is also the added stress of implications on my CV and not having an income, even though I have substantial savings and living at hime at the moment. I have my first counselling session this afternoon after a 6 month wait.
I realise the stress of covid has made this worse, but I appear to be spiralling. Any advice or anyone who has experienced the same?