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Original poster

Do I look for something else? Return to work after mat leave

12 replies

Pumpkinn · 05/12/2020 20:14

TLDR - started a new job while pregnant. Given paid maternity leave. Hate it now I’ve started back. Want to leave but feel I should stay loyal.

Mega post ahead sorry! I started my current job when I was pregnant (was fully open about this). It is a digital consultancy which was new to me but I have worked in tech as a web developer for a number of years. I only worked there for 6 months before I went on mat leave. In that time I wasn’t given any client work but kept myself busy training and working on some Mickey Mouse internal projects. The company were very good to me and gave me paid maternity leave for several months. I thought I’d hit the jackpot really.

I recently went back and did my KIT days before I start back full time in the New Year and now I don’t feel as sure. I feel like I basically achieved nothing. A key senior member of staff has left meaning that the person I report to is his boss. He gave me some work (an internal project) to do but there was barely any documentation on the project or how to get the application up and running on my machine. The guy he told me to ask for help doesn’t seem to know as much as his boss thinks and couldn’t help me either. My other teammates are in a different time zone and starting work towards the end of my working day. When I do ask them for help I feel like I can never get full context and am being told different things by different people. English isn’t their first language either so understanding their explanation of technical concepts has been a challenge. Basically I burst into tears of frustration several times a day. I was glad I was working remotely where no one could see me.

My boss is a nice person and helps when he can. But he spends all of his day in meetings and seems to be involved in everything. I dread asking him for help as I know he’s so busy. I asked him who else I could go to for help and he said just to come to him :/

There is still no talk of me being put forward for client work so who knows when this will happen. Most of the other people in the company are doing client work - even the graduates. I feel completely in limbo and almost irrelevant. I honestly don’t know what they are paying me for I’m embarrassed to be taking money off them at this point.

Basically I think I want to split. But I’m terrified to interview as I haven’t done any proper work in over a year now and I feel like I’m losing my skills. My confidence is at rock bottom. On top of that this company has been good to me giving me paid maternity leave in the first place and I’m worried about giving myself a bad name in my industry by leaving having done basically no work for them.

Can anyone offer any advice?

Thank you to anyone who read to the bottom. Sorry for the long ramble but I didn’t want to drip feed.

OP posts:

Dinosauraddict · 05/12/2020 20:54

Sounds like you need to talk to your boss about getting involved with client work.

Original poster

Pumpkinn · 05/12/2020 21:08

Should have added. I spoke to the person who coordinates the client projects twice during my KIT days. First meeting went well I thought and they said they’d speak to my boss and get me in for some projects. I then reached out to them again a few days later and was told there was nothing for me but they’d keep me posted.

OP posts:

Dinosauraddict · 06/12/2020 07:53

I think you need to wait until you're actually back in the NY before you have the conversation to be honest. Lots changes at pace and I find I can never really give people a good idea of their projects until they return. Try not to stress about it over Christmas, then go back with an open mind. Remember that they took you on while pregnant and paid you well so they're clearly not all bad. Allocation of work can always be sorted IMO with good communication and a bit of negotiation!

Dinosauraddict · 06/12/2020 07:55

Or do you mean you went back last NY e.g. 11 months ago - post is a bit unclear? Because if that's the case I'd be a lot more assertive!

flowery · 06/12/2020 08:00

So you’ve recently done your KIT days and you’re going back full time in the New Year?

What are you doing now then? Have you gone back part time on a temporary basis or something?

If you’re only just back, Christmas is coming up and you’ll be back ‘properly’ in the New Year, I think you’re being very premature tbh.

Littlepaws18 · 06/12/2020 08:56

Also you can't leave without ensuring you do the appropriate number of weeks to secure your maternity pay. Otherwise you will have to pay it all back. In teaching it's something like 13 weeks.

Original poster

Pumpkinn · 06/12/2020 12:00

Thank you for your replies.

Sorry if I wasn’t clear. I am still on mat leave right now and have just worked my KIT days. I start back to work full time in the New Year.

@Littlepaws18 I realise it does look like I’m shooting from the hip. I probably am. I have a tendency to stay in jobs far too long after they’re not working or the environment has turned toxic. So I’m try to learn from past mistakes.

OP posts:

flowery · 06/12/2020 12:22

All you've done is 10 KIT days? They're not going to get you doing client work for those! They're to keep in touch with the workplace, not to actually do any proper work. You're not supposed to have 'achieved anything'.

Give it a chance before you give up on it, surely? You have no idea what it's going to be like at this point. When you start back, have a meeting with your manager and talk through how it will work, what you'd like to contribute, all those things. Then give it a try. If after, say, three months, you feel there is an issue and you can't resolve it and want to move on, do.

But don't resign your job based on 10 KIT days.

GreenClock · 06/12/2020 12:27

I think that you’re being far too hasty.

mynameiscalypso · 06/12/2020 12:30

I agree it's a bit hasty - I start back after maternity leave in the new year too and also work in a client facing role. My boss has said that he doesn't want me doing any client work for the first month so I can ease myself back in and there is an expectation that I won't do any 'proper' work until Feb. I haven't used my KIT for various reasons but I was also told to use them for things like internal meetings/team events, catch ups with people, admin etc rather than any proper work.

Original poster

Pumpkinn · 06/12/2020 12:46

Thanks everyone. I can see that I’m being a bit nuts.

@mynameiscalypso it sounds like you’ve had great communication from your manager. I think that’s what I’m missing. He’s too busy to deal with me really and I’m missing that support and clarity.

OP posts:

mynameiscalypso · 06/12/2020 13:15

@Pumpkinn

Thanks everyone. I can see that I’m being a bit nuts.

@mynameiscalypso it sounds like you’ve had great communication from your manager. I think that’s what I’m missing. He’s too busy to deal with me really and I’m missing that support and clarity.

I've been quite proactive about speaking to him - we met for lunch a couple of times pre-Covid and I've scheduled regular catch up calls when I've been off as well as responding to emails etc. For me, it was easier not to switch off. Can you schedule some time with your boss over the next week or so pre-Christmas so you know what you expect? I'm planning to join various calls over the next two weeks so it's like I've already started

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