WWUD? Stay where I am or get the hell out of there?

[SofiaVergara]

Not going into too much detail as can be outing..

History... public service job.... permanent staff with overall 8 years service.

Started new job within company in June. Loved it to start with despite very difficult and trivial dept. Job is very specific to one single topic which I won't disclose.

New member of staff started 3m after me and has basically made my life hell to the point I'm questioning my ability. Feedback before they started was "I have hit the ground running" etc but since they started and got involved, it's "I am questioning your capability".

The member of staff is a bullshitter - has everyone wrapped around their finger and everyone idolises them. I have seen through the act and can't stand them. I have been standing up for myself but now I can't as I'm too scared to as I get hit with big formal emails where our boss sides with this other staff member. This other staff member works with me with this singular piece of work but I have already raised concerns about their attitude to me to the big boss but that achieved absolutely nothing!

I'm now at the stage there is a job been advertised on the internal system and I'm tempted to apply for it. It's with a dept that I am very familiar with but it is a pay scale down from me. The way the scales work is id be the same salary as now but that's it, no progression from there salary wise, but with this job now I can increase by £6k within 5 years....

I am miserable at work. People side with this other staff member and see me as the one digging my heels in. The job itself isn't really fully as advertised either, so I'm doing more generic office duties rather than this one specific project. I don't know what to do..! Stay where I am and suck it up or get the hell out of there in a lower paid job in the long term but be happy!

It's not worth being miserable for £6K over/in 5 years!

Go for it. Life is too short to be miserable at work.

Move!

I should also note that my DH says to stick it up or wait for something else with the same pay as I am now. We don't need the extra money but it would be nice (who doesn't say that, huh?).

Go and be happy.

Your DH is not dealing with it every day and it will make you stressed and ill over time, which will have a knock-on effect on your home life.
Applying for this new internal position does not stop you looking elsewhere at some point.

Move.
Being miserable at work seeps into everything you do.

It sounds as though this person has settled down for the long haul, so if I were you I'd apply for the other job, do it for a couple of years and then apply elsewhere. Life's too short to work with people like that.

@HollowTalk I can't say specifics as it would be so outing and they are the type of person who would find this thread and know it was me.... but...... they aren't as long term as they think..... 2 years with possible extension .....

Actually I don't care if they see this. At least they will know how I really feel and I'd love to see them use this against me!

I’d move. My last job was made unbearable by another director’s EA who came in and undermined every single thing I did. When I spoke to my boss about it she made me feel as though I was feeling jealous and paranoid. This girl was so good at gaslighting I thought I was going insane. The day she grassed me up over something that wasn’t an issue (a colleague leaving was supposed to be kept confidential but that person was actually telling people so I referred to it to her) was the last straw. Now I’m in a much better job and much happier.

Applying doesnt mean you'll get it. But if you dont apply, you definitely wont. And you dont know when the next internal job will come up, so you could be stuck there for an awfully long time.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale exactly! I'll apply and see what comes from it!

Apply. See what happens.

His bull shit will catch up with him.

Move.

It doesn't sound as if your current role is ever going to improve. You sound stressed and unhappy.

I recently left a role that sounds similar in some ways, my only regret is not leaving sooner. It made me thoroughly unhappy and had be questioning my ability to do a job which I'd previously loved

Apply for that job, and any others. No job is worth your health or happiness.

Agree with what others have said happiness and health are worth far more. It sounds stressful and not worth it...

Hi OP hope you are feeling better....

Leave ASAP. I am in a similar situation and quit today. You are fighting a losing battle which will impact negatively on you mentally.
Your mental health and peace of mind are not worth risking and your time is too precious to waste it on fighting this.
I've learnt that some people in the workplace are just toxic.

@sarahH2399

Leave ASAP. I am in a similar situation and quit today. You are fighting a losing battle which will impact negatively on you mentally. Your mental health and peace of mind are not worth risking and your time is too precious to waste it on fighting this. I've learnt that some people in the workplace are just toxic.

^This^

There are some very weird people out there and they create a work environment that is incredibly toxic. If you stay in your current role it will affect your mental health. I’ve been in your position before OP and ended up having a breakdown because of it. I moved jobs a few months ago and I feel like a different person. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows all of the time but I am so much happier and feel like I am enjoying life once more. I hope you get your escape from this situation soon.

OP My partner works in an industry where he is fully qualified, time served and now doing a job he is very good at.
The company took this new guy on and put him to work alongside my partner so he could learn from him.
The new guy started snitching to the boss about other people to deflect his inability to do the job. He bitched about my partner, and they started pulling him for bad work which the other guy had done. The other guy also put his name on work my partner had done and he was put in a difficult position since the new guy had worked with him. It was all snidey and political.
After the new guy had been there for a few months, they started treating my partner like shit and changed his job completely.
The new guy was now doing his job - the position of a professional with qualifications and making a right mess of it.
My partner was demoted to doing something else and he went through a patch of being really down.
He stuck it out because of his age. If he were younger he would have left.
You should do what makes you happy.

Just leave. I’ve been in a similar position in a LA and no job is worth your health. Your DH saying you should just stick it out, doesn’t appreciate the impact on mental health working with toxic people has. Nothing is worth your health and well-being.

Move. I was in a role that made me stressed and miserable (not because of colleagues, it was just the wrong role for me), I took a leap of faith from this permanent role into a fixed term one at slightly less money. It worked out pretty well. It was a risk but I had to do it for the sake of my mental health.