After baby

[Franny0696]

I'm 2 months into my maternity leave and I cannot stop thinking about what I am going to do when it comes round to be potentially going back to work.

My maternity pay is until June but after that I won't get any money if I take the full 1 year. I only work as an senior administrator but I have done well in my role & have some one working underneath me. However before I got pregnant I hated my job and i got so low mentally. I dreaded going in etc.

My husband owns his business and we said we could potentially add a cleaning & domestic side to the business but is that taking a step back from what I'm good at?

I don't want to go back full time but I know they won't allow me to go part time but again i don't want to leave my daughter.

I know it's a long way off but I don't know what to do.

Do I give the cleaning business a try?
Is there any way extra I can make money?
Stressing because I've always worked and done well

Gosh you sound so stressed out - sympathies. I think the best thing you can do, and I know it's not easy, is try to relax and enjoy your maternity leave and new baby (congratulations by the way!) and not stress too hard about needing to make decisions right now. The late stages of pregnancy and childbirth plus then having a newborn are really quite tough and I don't think now is the best time to be making life changing decisions so I'd give yourself a bit of a chance to recover and review in a few months time! While your baby is still so little it's normal to feel like you could never leave them but you may feel totally different once she's a bit older and more independent (and you are desperate for a break and a bit of adult conversation!)

That being said, the domestic business with your partner sounds interesting. You don't have to say what your partners business does if it's outing but how well does the cleaning/domestic idea 'fit'? Would you be actually having to roll your sleeves up and do the cleaning yourself or would it be more a case of coordinating some employees/an outsourced service to do cleaning work? Have you realistically thought through a business plan for it, how much profit you could expect to turn in years 1-3 for how much effort (bearing in mind most business ventures take quite a lot of intense work in the start up phase, so be realistic about how much time you could dedicate if you are trying to care for your daughter at the same time, or otherwise cost in at least some childcare)? Would you/your partner be wanting to start this business if it wasn't for needing work that fits around the baby, does it fit with your interests and skillset? If not then whilst it's nice of your partner to suggest it I'd be cautious, it can be really tough on a relationship working in your partner's business and you'd need to check that he isn't going to be resentful if you don't make a go of it - especially if you are trying to fit it in around baby naps and in the evenings etc as that's an awful lot of pressure!

If you decide against the business idea, then I would at least try putting in an application to go part-time or work flexibly at your current job, the worst they can do is say no. I would seriously look into trying to maintain some kind of employment even through the difficult early years, even if it's in the evenings or something like cleaning or retail work which you can fit around childcare. You have time to apply for other part time work if you current job does say no. Yes you may feel the salary in a low ish level job doesn't turn you much of a 'profit' after the cost of childcare but looking at the bigger picture staying in employment means you are still contributing to a pension, keeping your CV and skills up to date and relevant, there's always potential to be promoted or change to a higher paying job internally, and it helps you maintain an identity outside of being a mum. Plus to a degree having a job, any job protects you against things like your husband's business failing or a relationship breakdown as you aren't fully reliant on only one income?

Finally make sure your partner does step up and do his share of childcare after your maternity leave, whether that's directly or paying for it, she's his daughter too and whilst I am sure he works very hard at his business and is good at what he does, it isn't fair for your career to be totally compromised while he gets to carry on as though nothing has happened! Good luck

I could have written this myself, in 9 months and have to make my decision within a few weeks.
My circumstances have changed a little in that in going through redundancy now which I've put myself forward for, hopefully I get it, my leave date would be as I was due back from maternity so I wouldn't be going back.
My options are:
Option 1- Don't get redundancy and have to go back, if I do I may go back part time, if work allow me. You normally need to work a few months to pay back any maternity pay, after that I'd review if I can stay any longer or look elsewhere which what I was doing before I got pregnant.
Option 2 - Get redundancy, and spend a bit more time with baby, and look at other options, but forgetting what I'm 'good at' because that made me miserable. I'm looking at different avenues, lower paid jobs that would work better around childcare.

I'm also (trying when I get time) starting a small arts business which im hoping if do it will top me up a bit.

I would go back for a bit, It's a risk going into your husband's business but if it's possible, and you really can't hold on being in your job anymore, then take the leap after a while of getting paid. It's soul destroying being in a job you hate.

I'm sorry you feel like this but can understand it. I am in a similar role and am also really low at the moment but not in the position of having a little one.

I think it may be worth thinking of what flexibility you want or need. On the plus side, there are often quite a lot of different admin jobs to be had out there so plenty to apply for. I've also found some part time ones which are usually job shares (but pre-existing ones where someone has left). From the other side though, a feature is that you have VERY little control over your own time so even when you are part time and can be happy with the benefits on the days you don't work (holidays especially), the others are not negotiable and quite a grind. I missed my DD's first day at school, start and finish, because of something I had to be there for. Conversely I've found it hard to realise that I would never be first (or even third) in line for anything social like staff outings, tea and cake on Zoom, Christmas stuff with the rest of my team if it's not 'my' day and that is really demoralising, and ongoing. I've also been told in a team building exercise that if you are part time 'it gives the impression you're not committed to your career development.' This is probably true but was a kick in the bum.

Money wise it's not amazing and won't cover much nursery provision but it's still meaningful. Pension is probably more of an issue really.

Don't know what I would choose in your shoes, but as soon as you can, get some advice about the best way to develop yourself (with your choices), and invest time and money in that if you can while you are job hunting.

Above all, enjoy your time with your little one. That's very important.