Retaining confidence after not passing interviews

[interviewblues]

I've been in my field for 25 years, 16 of them specialising in what I do now.

I've applied for two roles recently, both well within my capabilities. One I didn't get an interview for and the other one I heard today that my interview wasn't successful.

I sort of wasn't surprised. I found being interviewed over Zoom really uncomfortable but accept that this is just how it is at the moment.

I've always felt fairly confident about what I do but the reason I'm wanting to leave my current post is there was a restructure a couple of years ago and my current line manager is a well known bully and incompetent. I stood my ground when she bullied me last year, although the issue of her not trusting me and downright hostility towards me has remained. It's pretty unresolvable given her personality and everyone who can has left. So I'm feeling pretty lonely at work along with everything else.

At the moment, these rejections feel like they're confirming that I'm not good enough at my role. I know it's a bit irrational, but how do you keep you pecker up at times like this?

I don't know but I'm in a similar situation and have name changed. I feel totally miserable about it all

I'm sorry WinoLino. I've name changed too. Somehow it feels shameful, which I know is ridiculous but I feel sort of embarrassed about it.

Are you working at the moment?

I can empathise. I am in my current grade 14 years, I have worked hard to build my skills and knowledge and be a helpful person. I fail at interviews for the next grade every time.

What killed me this time is that there were 12 posts for a higher allowance at my grade, based on seniority and merit (max 15 years seniority, managers grading max 35 points, and panel award max 35 points considering application covering competencies for the grade).

They extended application process in the summer, took 3 months to make decisions, but although I had 35 from manager and 28 on seniority, I only got 30 for my form and was “not successful on this occasion”.

Just waiting to see which bullsh**ters actually got the allowance in the end. I’m guessing it will be almost entirely male and talkers not doers.

But I am apparently good enough to be shunted around a number of times this year to fill in emergency gaps and “get urgent things done”. Feeling particularly sore this week for being “good ole Biddy” and yet again not getting any recognition of that.

I'm sorry to hear this - I think you just have to press on really. There is absolutely no need to feel shamed and embarrassed about it - when I interview for positions of all levels on average there are 4 or 5 candidates and usually at least 3 of those are appointable - it comes down in the end to who is the best fit and/or has that 'extra' something - a qualification or a specific bit of experience to offer. I'd really hate the unsuccessful candidates to feel as though it's a bad reflection on them in any way or that they are doomed to failure, as it's more luck/factors outside their control - I always give feedback as well explaining this and encouraging them to keep applying for similar jobs- can you ask for some feedback as I think you might feel better afterwards?

From the other side of the table, I move jobs quite a bit and I think I have never (or certainly very rarely) got the job at the first interview I went to. I think partially that's a luck thing and partially however well you prepare it takes a little bit of practice to get into the swing of doing a good interview, structuring your answers, 'selling yourself' etc. This is probably especially true with the new thing of zoom interviews. So keep applying, try and get as many interviews as possible for the practice if nothing else, don't be disheartened by failure, the right job will be out there for you!

I'm actually off sick following something traumatic at work but I really don't want to go back there and the jobs I have applied for, (only 3), I haven't been shortlisted for. I feel a bit lost about it all really, I really want to leave my industry which is nursing but I don't know what else I'd be good at/enjoy. It's so hard.

Same boat here OP, just picked up another email rejection before interview. I put loads of effort into my applications and tailor each one to the job requirements. Had a Zoom interview for my absolute dream job a few weeks ago and I thought it went quite well, not amazing but I was still pretty hopeful. It was such a knock back when I found out I didn't get it. I'm still upset. I feel like all my experience counts for nothing at the moment and there are all these young dynamic competitors out there and at 49 I'm just over the hill.

I used an interview coach - all remotely - best money ever spent. Not only helped me with preparing for interview but also had chats about my concerns and anxiety about interview based on shocker of an interview I once had which affected me. I was happy to pay for the chats as they really helped rationalise my concerns and putcontingencies in place

Have applied for three roles over the past 12 months - all positions well within my capability - and not got any of them! I also need to leave due to a nasty bullying boss but my interviews have all been face to face so I can't even blame it on that!

It's really demoralising. I wonder if they can sense the desperation?!

BiddyPop a friend of mine is in exactly that position. She's applied for promotion four times and each time not been successful and had to induct the person who was, who turns out not to be that competent hence the job role opening up again....

I think what maxelly says is right - there's an element of 'right fit' that you can't put in a person spec or job description. Years ago, I was successful in an interview unexpectedly. It was a good decision - I got on really, really well with the person who recruited then managed me.

That's interesting about a job coach whatever1980. I had to record myself for the first stage of the interview and I was able to reflect on how I come across which was helpful.

Sorry for others who find themselves in this position and I hope that the right job comes along soon for all of us!

WinoLino that sounds tough.

Have you had any support around the reason that caused you to go off sick?

In more affluent times I was turned down by employer for promotion and asked to induct new manager. Cue resignation letter and you can stick your job where the sun don't shine. Very very liberating though I would not advise such behaviour in current climate.

The bully boss is everywhere. I think about 50% of my have jobs had one.

@interviewblues yes I have to be fair. Absolutely loads. I just don't think I want to go back but it's hard to change direction at almost 40! Why employ me when I have no experience in the field? And what do I go for? Would like to be an estate agent but pay just not enough for my mortgage 😔

That sounds difficult. Would some coaching help you work out your direction do you think?

Yes I think coaching would be great actually, I'll look into it.

Imvhe, ask for recommendations and find someone who 'gets' the area that you currently work in and has had experience of coaching people contemplating moving out of this area.

Do lots of research into what options you have first. Ask your friends what sort of job they could see you doing. Nursing will have given you so many different skills that you probably can't recognise at the moment.

Lots of people change paths in their 40s or later these days.

Good luck!

One of my old bosses gave me some good advice. Keep a log/diary on your system and every time you do something out of the ordinary or which gives you a sense of pride in your work make a note of it. It can then act as an aide memoir when prepping for those blasted competency based (which I find stunt me as an interviewer) questions.

We all do so many things above and beyond when working and easily forget (well I do).

Cliche, and I know it's easy for some to say, but if you dont get the job, tell yourself it isn't meant to be.

I, and several experienced colleagues, recently lost out on a job due to flagrant nepotism, that's not always the case, but sometimes the job is gone before you even write your name on the application form. I did have a little giggle when the successful applicant did all but burn the building down and was dismissed within 6 months. Karma can sometimes be a beautiful thing.