Advice needed on bad boss

[Changeofheartinlockdown]

My boss is not a good one. However she is fantastic at self promotion and people seem to pander to her confidence/arrogance.

I am very good at what I do but she frequently undermines me. Others have commented it’s because she feels threatened. I like my job and my position but worries she will either block my progression or mad mouth me to others and jeopardise my career. I’ve tried talking things through with her but she shouts over me and we get nowhere.

Any advice gladly received. I’d really rather not leave...

Hopeful bump?

There's not much there to give advice on... Any examples? Being good at self-promotion, and having confidence - even being arrogant - don't make anyone a "bad boss".

It's not clear what you have tried to "talk through" with her or in what ways she undermines you. You might need to give some examples if you want any advice...

I get you. My boss is similar and it’s hard for people to understand unless they’re in it.

I can tell mine loves the sound of her own voice, thinks she’s far superior than me and is a know it all and is very threatened of me due to my age and potential for my age.

I have no advice but to just keep plodding on

Can't leave or rather wouldn't? If it's the former keep going until you are in a position to leave. The thing is, she isn't going to change. She has probably been behaving this way for years unchallenged. It doesn't matter what you say. If you want to move ahead you will need to move on, unless she moves. In my experience people like that never move, they are on to too much of a good thing.

Honestly, if leaving is something you don't want to do (rather than something you aren't able to) I would say just go against your instinct and leave. I've been in that position before and tried so hard to make it work as I was desperate not to have to leave (just really liked the overall employer and my colleagues). Eventually got to a point where it became obvious I had to. Once I was working for my new employer, loved it and only regret about leaving was that I didn't do it sooner. Its easy to waste so much mental energy dealing with a bad boss when you're unlikely to get anywhere with them, so if you have the chance to go, go.

Is your boss Priti Patel?
Seriously though, people don't change easily and especially in a work scenario like this. Your confidence will be eroded if you stay and the damage may well be irreversible. You may not want to leave but you may well have to for the sake of your future self.

It's a horrible situation to be in and there's nothing concrete I can give as advice, except to keep a log of every incident, however small, for yourself. You don't know when you might need to evidence the actions towards you and being able to give concrete examples is really helpful. I have been in this position previously and it helps me when I was hauled up in front of my manager's manager to answer completely fabricated issues from my bully manager. I was able to refer to the notes I had taken. I left the job and am much better now but it is so horrible to go through it.

I have just been made redundant from a job with a boss like this and my only advice to you is to get the f out of dodge.. ie there's nothing you can do but leave.
My bad boss would frequently take over my work, undermine me, generally treat me like shit and woe betide me if I EVER tried to raise any issues as I'd either not be taken seriously and be made to feel like I was making a fuss over nothing, or I'd get shot down in flames for making HER feel bad.

It was really beginning to affect my mental health, but last month the best thing in the world happened.. she made me redundant as she clearly couldn't deal with the threat anymore, and I got another job offer 3 weeks later for a role I hope to be much happier in!

What I've learned is that if you can't broach an issue and be taken seriously, there really is no going forward, you're kind of blocked. A good boss will listen to feedback, may not agree with you but will make you feel listened to, but they are few and far between, most just don't want to know.

If you can make plans to leave, I would

I have a terrible boss who in turn has a terrible boss! In an office of otherwise pretty great people. I’ve accepted today after months of being physically and mentally unwell with the stress of it that I need to leave. So sending solidarity if not much practical advice!