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derogatory coworkers

32 replies

aubz88 · 13/11/2020 10:35

If you read my previous thread I'm looking for a new job.

There's one common situation in almost every job that I've had and that's coworkers saying derogatory comments.

For example, in my last a job a Jewish man and an atheist would sit there having extremely disparaging and prejudiced comments about Catholics. He would say that Catholics 'all drink out of the same cup' during mass and that was gross. If you're going to insult people, at least get your facts right.

In my current role, a French man sat down beside me and started saying how crazy Christians are because they pray. He said that he thought that people who pray to a higher power were possibly mentally ill. Funny, he didn't mention Islam at all or Judaism.

Also, my coworkers talk about politics in the office. I find myself to be orange in a field of purple and it's uncomfortable.

While the comments are not directed at me, I find this horrifying. How do they know that I'm not part of XYZ group that they hate? If you don't know someone well enough to know what religion or lack-of they are, then you should not just bring it up in such a nasty way.

I guess it's kind of nasty to go around insulting people unprovoked and it changes your opinion of the coworker knowing that they are prejudiced against XYZ group. They lose a lot of credibility in my eyes as a professional.

This has been an issue in all 3 if the jobs that I've worked in. As I am looking for a new job, [B][B]how can I avoid this in the future?[/B][/B] I work in IT.

[B]Look, everyone is entitled to their opinions but work isn't the place to air them.[/B] I have some unpalatable opinions myself. Coworkers are not friends.

PS: I think that a lot of people assume that I'm not a religious person because I have a degree in science. As a scientist, I have no idea why someone would think that way. It's highly presuming and presumptuous and, ironically, 'unscientific'. I know a good number of scientists that believe in a higher power. (But we won't derail this thread.)

OP posts:
CoRhona · 14/11/2020 23:55

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe I just looked up 'orange in a sea of purple' to find it out if it was a phrase (it wasn't) Grin

Sheogorath · 15/11/2020 00:21

There are other issues with my job if you haven't been so lazy as to read my previous thread about it.

I didn't know there was a previous thread, how is that lazy?

People can talk about politics within earshot if they want.

anxiiousone · 15/11/2020 08:00

You people are starting to piss me off.

😂maybe you should try saying that at work - might solve your problem!

anxiiousone · 15/11/2020 08:05

The previous job was the Jewish man. He didn't walk up to me, he was talking within earshot.

Matthew 5

1	[<strong>43</strong>] Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
2	[<strong>44</strong>] But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
anxiiousone · 15/11/2020 08:08

It's just these programmers who think they know it all.

I think you've been unlucky there then. In my experience all they ever talk about is IT. I'm married to one Smile

BilboBercow · 15/11/2020 08:09

Starting to think it might be you op.

daisychain01 · 15/11/2020 20:46

@aubz88

There are other issues with my job if you haven't been so lazy as to read my previous thread about it.

Just to prove you wrong (I'm not that lazy) Grin I did go and read your other thread about your job.

You have a very intense communication style, not saying that's wrong or as a criticism, but you come across as taking life very seriously at the age on 31/32 years old. And you're a detail person (the other thread took a lot of reading, but you got some very supportive responses on there.

I sense that being in the company of others may be quite challenging for you if you have to listen to them chattering away in the background, it sounds as if it could stress you out. Hence the reason for this thread. I don't blame you by the way, I don't enjoy too much chatter and distraction at work, but the thing is we don't get to choose our coworkers, we have to put up with it because that's the deal. If you want to work in splendid isolation you could consider contracting, especially as you're a software developer - it's one job that does lend itself to home working.

I wouldn't waste any more of your headspace on these people, you're only thrown together through quirk of fate. Focus on your career and forget people whose views you find abhorrent, you'll never be able to stop them being bigoted or racist, but you can change your way of coping with the situation.

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