Was this a shorty thing to do?

[cartonwheel]

I had a job offer come through last week. I contacted the person who sent it to me straight away and I told him that I will be replying to the email with a signed copy of the offer shortly. The reason I called him was to tell him that I've actually just found out that I'm pregnant and I wanted to tell him over the phone rather than email. He then stopped me and said 'Okay, congratulations. Please don't worry about signing the job offer yet, leave it with me. If I'm not in touch by the end of next week (now this week), please take it as a no from us.' I know I should have waited and left it it until I've started the job to tell them but honestly...I'm glad I told them before I left my current job. I just think it was a bit of a shitty thing to say. I was so excited to start this job, they genuinely looked like a great company to work for - obviously not.

Come on you can hardly be surprised that your "I'm pregnant..... squeee!!" job acceptance phone call was going to be anything other than a right pain in the bollocks for them. Yes you might feel they have let you down in terms of generosity (?) but you've clearly applied for the job with a massive hidden agenda as well. So yes.... congratulations.

Either way, according to Mumsnet, the OP can’t win. If she hadn’t told her future employer she was pregnant, somebody would be along to have a moan.

@ivfbeenbusy

It's shitty on both your parts really - his because legally he can't really retract the offer and yours for getting pregnant when you are applying for new jobs and now you've put them in an awful position

Are you from the 1950s? Give me strength!

@ivfbeenbusy

It's shitty on both your parts really - his because legally he can't really retract the offer and yours for getting pregnant when you are applying for new jobs and now you've put them in an awful position

How is it shitty to apply for jobs when trying to get pregnant? I'm going to make an assumption you've had fertility issues based on your name... maybe OP have been trying for a while and their current job is less suitable to motherhood (flexibility / pay / mat leave etc) and a new job is better suited. Women can't just stop career options because at some point they may get pregnant (I've known only one person in a huge group of women that has got repeatedly pregnant the first month she tried)

I wouldn't take the job now in any case. Given the attitude they've just shown, it's unlikely you'd make it through your probation period. They could very easily create a reason why 'it's not working out' and then you'll be pregnant and without a job. Serious question: would it be so bad sticking it out where you are and going on maternity leave from there?

OP how does changing your job whilst pregnant affect you maternity benefits?

OP definitely accept the job via email. Then it’s up to them to officially retract their offer, and when they do, make sure you get it in writing. Do not mention your pregnancy again, they probably already know they’ve fucked up but on the off-chance they’re thick as champ they might put something incriminating in the email/letter retracting the offer.

If you stay in your current job will you entitled to maternity pay? That would be a huge factor for me!

If not, and you still want to move, then I'd accept the job and see what happens. After speaking to HR the person you talked to on the phone will have realised
His mistake by now.

You have a written job offer and now he's saying if you don't hear from him it's a no? How does that even make sense?

What's the job/organisation?

I'd fully expect that this was an off the cuff reaction (and let's face it he's entitled to feel put out) but that he'll realise there's nothing he can do about it now.

Is this a big company or small?

@Funkypolar

Either way, according to Mumsnet, the OP can’t win. If she hadn’t told her future employer she was pregnant, somebody would be along to have a moan.

That's because many people on MN have a demonstrably poor knowledge of employment law and think they can make it up as they go along on here There are legislative deadlines for pg announcements with protections in place so a woman isn't forced to give information in advance, if they elect not to do so early on.

Whether or not it's "bad timing" in this current situation is beside the point. The reason that pg stands on its own as a distinct protected characteristic in the Equality Act (2010) is that it is women who have all the burden of complexity with regards to childbearing, for which men have the advantage and can dodge all such complexity, purely by the quirk of nature.

Interesting idea that women should not try and conceive if looking to change roles. Does that mean someone with fertility problems should spend their entire working life in one role at one pay grade just in case?

Some people on here have very strange ideas.

It's a shame she should have been able to be honest it 2020 ffs!