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I'm going to have to quit?

11 replies

W2020 · 07/11/2020 11:50

Can someone please help if they have any other suggestions?

I'm a single mum to a 18 month old boy. The plan was to be a sahm while my partner works but that clearly went in a different direction. After we split I immediately looked for work and I found a small part time job, 16 hours a week, and have universal credit top up. My mum provides childcare while I work. This was a temporary thing, while I sort out proper childcare to enable a full-time job.

Then covid happened and all nurseries near here have stopped taking new children for the time being. There is only one child minder in the area and she had no qualifications or DBs checks yet, so not someone I'd be willing to go with. Again this was ok for the time being, because dm loves looking after my son.

About 3 nights ago dm had an unexpected heart attack. She's okay but obviously needs a lot of rest and recovery. There's no way she can (or would I ask her too!) Go back to looking after Ds.

Next week DS's dad has taken some holiday days to watch him while I work, he works 5 days a week, long hours. The week after I have book a week's holiday. After that I'm.. well screwed?
The only option I can think of is to ask work if maybe I can only work weekends, when ds is at their dad's. But this seems like a big ask and I can see them saying no.

I feel like I'm exhausting options. I'm exhausted anyway. I am Dm's only family member so I have been doing all the things you have to do when someone is unexpected rushed to hospital. And obviously the emotional side is horrific for me right now.

If there is a big obvious childcare answer staring me in the face please point it out. I'm so stressed.

OP posts:
W2020 · 07/11/2020 11:55

Excuse my terrible grammar and spelling. I've had very little sleep.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 07/11/2020 12:00

Id speak to your manager, it could solve your worries straight away - what type of work do you do?
Im in retail and if you were my employee and told me what was happening at home id gladly put you into a weekend shift.

W2020 · 07/11/2020 12:10

Thank you @Ilikewinter that's very encouraging. I'm also in retail so hopefully my manager feels the same as you.

What worries me is a colleague recently asked for weekends only, as they were starting college full time. And they were told no, meaning they left. But obviously it's a very different situation.

OP posts:
CarrotCakeSupprise · 07/11/2020 12:23

How tough.

Are there any childcare options near your work, rather than home? It might be less convenient but worth it right now.

Might you have any luck calling the nurseries? They might have a blanket policy of no newbies but actually have a few spaces going, especially right now if people have been furloughed again or something and pulled their kids out.

If this happened to a close friend of mine and I was a SAHM I'd gladly take your DC short term to help you out. Worth asking?

Florencemattell · 07/11/2020 13:15

So sorry about your mum OP. Wishing her a speedy recovery.
You say the only childminder has no DBS yet, then she is not a registered childminder. She may be planning to be one but no help to you.
Look on your local council website for a list of Registered childminders. You may need to extend the area.
Or could you become a childminder yourself if there are none locally. So you have your own home ? If you rent not usually possible. What about your babies other grandmother would she help for a temporary time?

Itsorange · 07/11/2020 13:33

I'm sorry about your Mum.

I would speak to your work before making any decision about quitting. It may be that they are able to adjust your days for a few weeks while you sort out childcare. Or give you parental leave (unpaid but at least it would buy you time and you'd keep your job). Go back to all the nurseries again, there may be spaces now. I know childcare providers near us are struggling with so many people stopping using their services due to furlough or wfh.

W2020 · 10/11/2020 11:30

Thank you for everyone's help and advice, I have weekend work Smile

OP posts:
Florencemattell · 10/11/2020 12:02

That’s good to hear x

Ilikewinter · 10/11/2020 18:59

Oh thats excellent news! 😊

Wales34 · 10/11/2020 21:55

You're entitled to take parental leave up to 18 weeks i believe ( could be wrong on time) but it is unpaid . Google it and there should be some resources on acas

Wales34 · 10/11/2020 21:56

Have just seen someone got there before me !! Best if luck , hope it all works out. Remember also that you are a women with childcare responsibilities so they should fine a solution for you . You may have a case for discrimination otherwise .

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