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I've messed up my career, no idea what to do next

5 replies

noprospects · 28/10/2020 17:24

Apologies in advance that this is long, I would really love some help and feedback.

I was a service manager at a very small charity for 8 years until spring 2019 and ended up quitting due to mental health reasons and a very long commute (I moved house further away after starting to work there). I thought at the time I could fairly easily pick up some freelance work as everyone always suggests becoming a virtual assistant or something when people ask... Ultimately I just felt so shit that I didn't think about it much but I had some savings as a back up plan.

I eventually found a part time online customer service job at a really lovely company (I get to work from home), the only problem is there just isn't enough work so I'm not earning enough, and any prospects to grow with them are also in the very long-term and not in the near future at all. It also doesn't pay well - in the region of £10 p/h... I enjoy the work itself though, but I just need to earn a lot more to be able to afford to live and save a bit too.

I'm in my 30s and have two degrees and friends are in well paid permanent roles, leading teams and earning up to £60k a year so I feel like I've completely fallen behind. I'm also seeing other freelancers pick up highly paid projects and regular work regardless of their field of work but somehow everyone has learnt all these skills I've completely missed out on.

I've applied for a few things that match my previous experience and either get no response at all or get told I don't have enough experience. I've been working since I was 18 so clearly I have lots of work experience but I'm finding these days everywhere is looking for specific skills and lots of it is very technical like must have experience using X software and A, B, C, D and E apps with lots of examples and references to prove it, or must have done this exact thing for 5+ years and managed a large team or X size budget, so there's very little chance to move sideways into anything slightly different when I don't have that experience. The charity I used to work for was small and I did a range of things but I was not an expert in anything to the extent that I could say it's my thing.

My degrees are in social sciences and psychology related fields but again, there is no specific skill as such - it's not like I'm a web designer and could create websites or an accountant and could do people's accounts. I'm good at working with people in different contexts, quick and accurate with admin-y type things (not numbers though!), quite creative - basically ideal for a smaller organisation like the one I worked at before, as I did everything from supervising volunteers to writing the newsletters. I also do enjoy the customer service role and have been looking into ways to level up but everyone else is from a corporate background and again, I don't know what the middle step is to bridge the gap from where I am to where I'd like to be.

I feel like I've completely messed up my career prospects by not trying to move forward much earlier, and for working for a small organisation that somehow didn't have the modern tools and ways of working that are needed now. For various reasons I wasn't in a position to do it then and I was also happy at the job I had at the charity. Now I've just fallen behind and don't seem to have any skills employers want. Even the smallest roles require a ton of experience and I never thought I'd be in this situation in my 30s. I have no idea what to do and how to ever get a career. Obviously it's even worse now in these covid times with more people looking for work (more competition) and I would also ideally prefer to work from home and/or manage my own schedule to some extent - that's what I had in mind when I went freelance and I see other freelancers manage it and still make £££ every month.

Has anyone been in this situation and found a new direction?
Or do you have any ideas for getting the experience I seem to lack? Are there maybe jobs or sectors I haven't considered? I feel so lost and scared all the time. Sad

OP posts:
Willowwood45 · 28/10/2020 23:33

I have no advice I'm afraid but I read this and just want to give you a hug. I'm so sorry you feel this way. I can relate a little and certainly have a few friends who have found themselves feeling like this, including some in the arts and charity sector who have lost their jobs over the last few months and now don't know what to do. There is so much sadness and fear for so many people and I wish I could say something to make you feel a little better. Are you comfortable? Can you pay your bills? If so, maybe don't worry so much right now about active next steps. The job market is ridiculous right now. Could you maybe spend the time you have while the work sorts itself out doing some online courses? Some volunteering? Or, if nothing else, looking after yourself. I think anyone who has had mental health problems in the past is being put under so much pressure right now. I hope things sort themselves out for you

IEat · 29/10/2020 08:45

Stop comparing yourself to others, it does you no good. What do you want to do as a job? If you have to start at the bottom of the ladder so what. Do what makes you happy, not what you think you should be doing.

ScrapThatThen · 29/10/2020 09:20

You need to go down the ladder and then climb it - if you want to. Apply for full time entry level roles preferably in council or NHS and then skill upwards. But think about what you actually need to earn and what you want your life to look like (so yes 60k is great, but if it means getting sick again not so great). So the alternative is to think 'what would I do if I was starting again' 'what do I want to do'.

StevieBudd · 29/10/2020 09:23

I felt really sad reading your thread. I’m in a similar position as I’ve taken time out to care for my disabled children. I’m working in an admin based role. Have you looked at courses? If you’re seeing employers looking for certain skills how can you get those skills? You could go into a job at entry level and like a previous poster has said upskill.

Stressmess · 29/10/2020 17:51

@noprospects. I am sorry you feel like this. In many ways I feel like this too. I just sort of fell in to my job and then stayed as it is secure and I have now got 2 children and they are good about holidays and reducing my hours. It is admin based and I have a degree and just thought for my age and experience I would be further on than I actually am. I just seemed to have stalled really. I have applied for 3 internal vacancies recently, 2 promotions and 1 sideways move and have been rejected for all of them.

Most of the Mums in my children's class are prob similar age to me
but all seem to be high flying like dentists or doctors or heads of this or that. I feel quite junior in comparison.

I have been wfh from home since March and was complaining to my dh yesterday about "do you never get fed up with work and just looking at a screen all day because I do?" and he who is retraining says no says that he loves what he does and it is not a chore. I wish I had a passion like this.

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