tricky career sitation

[aubz88]

I’ve got a very tricky career situation at the moment.

I’ve been working as a software developer for 7 years now.

How did I end up in my situation?
I have been working in my current role for 3 years and 6 months.

While there are a few things that bother me and frustrate me, I’m generally happy at work.

Right now we are all working remotely due to COVID. I like working remotely but it would be nice to have a hybrid approach; e.g. a few days in the office and a few days at home. I like working remotely because I get to spend more time exercising and more time with my family due to the lack of commute. Also, there are some people and inefficient processes in my work that cause me frustration and it’s a lot easier to deal with that at a distance :)

This summer the CEO of my company wanted everyone to start trickling back into the office after working remotely. This was quite a bit earlier than many other companies. The problem is I rely on public transport to get to work. I don’t know how to drive, don’t have a license and don’t own a car. Public transport is effected by COVID and is not going to be a reliable mode of transport for quite some time. They knew this when they hired me and it did not say anywhere in my employment contract that employees are required to own a vehicle.

The CEO basically said that he didn’t give a shit. My direct manager was away at the time. Oh, so how am I meant to get to work? Grow wings and fly? I was really upset by this and did up my CV. I got some immediate interest in my CV and found out that my salary is 10-18% lower than it should be and my benefits package is sub-par as well. My direct manager returned to work and smoothed things over with me. I get along well with him and have good relationships with many colleagues.

The thing is.. that 11K gap between my pay and what I should be getting is hard to ignore.

Some career concerns for me:

1. Commute. I live in Co. Wicklow. My husband refuses to move to Dublin even though that’s where most of the roles are. He does have a point about Dublin not being a good place to raise kids and we would not be able to afford to live there really; or else we would have no savings at all.

2. I have not yet stayed at a job for more than 4 years EVER. 3 years, 6 months is my longest tenure and that’s only due to a 7-month maternity leave in there. Software developers hop around like grasshoppers in their career until they hit a salary limit and settle down for a while; it’s an employees market but still.

3. My husband and I may want to have another child at some point. I’m 32 and have 2 kids but we might want a 3rd. We don’t know. Time is on our side. However, going from 4k a month to 800 a month from the State mat leave is too difficult. I want to work somewhere that has maternity top-ups. If I were to become pregnant while working somewhere that didn’t offer that benefit it could be financially devastating for us. My current employer has mat leave top-ups.

4. I have worked in downright toxic work environments in the past and I’m very sensitive to this; it can really cause depression and ruin your life.

5. I don’t really have a ‘career goal’. I just want to learn and progress all the time.

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I have been interviewing since the incident with the CEO (Aug 2020). Most were flops but I’ve reeled in a big fish this time. They seem really interested but it hasn’t gone to the offer stage yet. It’s causing me a lot of stress and anguish.

My current role:
Pros
▪ shortest possible commute for me (Wicklow to Bray) 20-45 mins. If I leave it will mean a forever longer commute into Dublin. It’s the only place in Bray.
▪ I like my manager and we get on well
▪ I like the work I’m doing and feel fulfilled
▪ I feel like they need me and there’s no one else in the company that can do my work at the moment
▪ I feel attached to the company and my colleagues
▪ My boss said that if he were to hire another person for this project they would be under me and I would be the team lead but that has never materialised
▪ I’m comfortable and the role doesn’t cause me a lot of stress
▪ I like being the company expert on the project
▪ I’m learning a small bit but not too much
▪ I started a new project that will help me in the future but it keeps getting pushed back

Cons
▪ Sub-par benefits package (non-existent: no medical, dental etc. they only benefit is mat leave top-up)
▪ Below market rate salary
▪ Some old technologies and processes cause inefficiency
▪ Can be very frustrating and disorganised at times
▪ I don’t think I’ll ever get a promotion here; they aren’t going to hire anyone else in my team full-time for a long time
▪ I have to mentor a junior dev and he is not very competent yet. I often have to re-do his work because it’s not up to standards.
▪ I’m the most senior one in my role so there’s no one to learn from
▪ CEO is old-school, inflexible, unreasonable and sees his employees as numbers.
▪ My manager took a long time to buy me an ergonomic desk so I developed a back problem and lost a lot of sleep this year due to back pain and had to pay for my own physio
▪ The company had a few huge mistakes this year and almost lost a new client; could have gone under. They have trouble keeping new clients happy due to the inefficient way of working and some old clients are frustrated with them as well and don’t want to pay their maintenance contracts.
▪ The company changed their mat leave top-up benefit policy because ONE woman had her kids close in age. Stingy. Most people want to space their kids out a bit due to the lack of sleep.

Possible new role
Pros
▪ 10K+ higher base salary
▪ Big benefits package
▪ They are working on a newer tech stack - good for me
▪ They are more flexible; they like giving employees time to work remotely and are open-minded
▪ The company is growing and doing well and wants to hire 75 more employees for their new Dublin branch

Cons
▪ It’s in the gaming industry and I’m not really interested in games
▪ Longer commute (1h20mins - 1h40mins) but they said they have embraced the working at home situation permanently so you can come in 2 days and work the rest at home if you want
▪ Not sure if they offer mat leave top-ups
▪ They are moving very very quickly in the interview process; I feel like it’s rapid pace and I don’t really know what I’m getting into yet
▪ I’m going into a situation that is unknown; I don’t know if I will like it or enjoy it at this stage
▪ If I blow them off or decline an offer then I could be burning a bridge

I’m a very indecisive person and these situations cause me a lot of anguish and lost sleep.

Sometimes I think I should just stay until the 4-year mark and then start looking again. I need to get my learners drivers license as well and focus on studying for that. All this interviewing is distracting me from that.

Use the offer once it is definite to leverage a higher salary or benefits package from your boss. If he doesn't play ball, take the other job?

Wait until you get an offer, see if your current company will come closer to the pay they offer, then see which you feel makes sense. As much as the longer commute is only 2 days a week, could it increase and would that work for you?

I do recommend that you learn to drive as soon as possible, it's always going to be limiting otherwise, Ireland is not well suited to being car-free. We moved to Dublin from London. DH had never learned to drive because you don't need to in London, using public transport is generally more time efficient than driving there. We bought close to a LUAS station because he didn't drive. But almost all public transport in Dublin goes in/out from the centre, to go sideways he needed me to drive him. After about 4 years he did learn and it opened up his life. Wicklow is much worse than Dublin for public transport and, as population density is pretty low, it's not going to improve in the foreseeable future.

If you are unsure about the new job then ask them what they can do to tell you more about their working environment. Normally I would suggest visiting the office and talking to some of the team that you would be working with, but obviously that's not going to happen under level 5. You could ask to have a video call with someone on your potential team who is currently doing more or less what you will be doing. Ask about what career development potential that person sees for him/herself. Ask how the company are currently supporting their workers while working from home. You are a valuable resource and they want you, so you can afford to be a little pushy before you accept the offer.

Some of the 'Pros' at your current job are not really pros at all, being the only person who can do your job is not a valid reason to stay there, especially if they are under paying you. Some of the 'Cons' would be a major push for me to leave, and it doesn't sound as though any of those cons will be changing soon.

Thanks for all the great replies and advice. I'm feeling less anxious. I'd like to add a few more details for clarity.

RE: My husband.
My husband, our marriage, and why he thinks the way he does is, is a whole different animal. Is he adding limits and constraints on us? Yes. But that's a whole different topic for a different thread.

I think my husband wants to stay away from Dublin mostly because we are renters and his sister lives down the street and can babysit in an emergency etc. Renting a house for a family is notoriously expensive in Dublin and we wouldn't have any savings. As I have family overseas and want to visit and save for our own house one day, this is important for us.

My husband got a co-operative house in our county this year so it will save us money. It's a limitation but perhaps a good one.

RE: commute
We moved into our new place during the pandemic. Before that, I would walk to the train station (25 mins), train ride (20 mins), walk to the office building (15 mins). So my current commute is actually over an hour and I would have to walk in the rain! If you were to drive it's 20 mins only.

Where I'm originally from a 1 hr commute is pretty standard so it's not alarming to me.

The reason why the commute to the new job is so long would be due to public transport. e.g. walk to the bus stop (10 mins), 50 mins bus ride, either get a connecting bus or walk (25 mins). If I miss my transfer to the next bus then I would have to walk or wait for the next bus. ouch It's awkward to get to Sandyford.

RE: driving
I never learned to drive because I'm not originally from this area. I moved out at a young age and moved to a big city where buses, trains, and subways came every 5-10 mins.

My husband recently got his 'L' and a cheap car. It's true that he is actually driving unaccompanied, but it's necessary to take our kids to school. It's just a 10 min pop over to the school from our house. He's not allowed to drive on the motorways so his driving won't be of any help to me other than to pop me over to the train station.

I wanted to book my 'L' test soon but now because of Level 5 I won't be able to until December and then I won't be able to drive on the motorway to get to a new job for another 2 years. This would also mean getting a second car. Maybe my best would be to work near the DART line so my husband can just pop me over to the train?

In any case, I think I need to:
1. find out if the company has maternity top-ups
2. find out more about the role (the job description was vague - only talked about what they want in a candidate and not about the project)

In the long run, yes, as much as I like my job and as hard as it would be to leave, I think I need to leave eventually.

I'm a UI JavaScript developer. The company is using outdated practices and technologies and there is little room for advancement. This year the company almost went bust due to not keeping a big new client happy. They don't practice Agile very well. They managed to recover from that but it was close.

Maybe I should wait for the 4 or 5-year mark and find maybe something that rings the bell a bit more?

Hello OP

I second what @BlackAmericanoNoSugar says, ie:

Some of the 'Pros' at your current job are not really pros at all, being the only person who can do your job is not a valid reason to stay there, especially if they are under paying you. Some of the 'Cons' would be a major push for me to leave, and it doesn't sound as though any of those cons will be changing soon.

In particular your manager talks a good game but doesn't deliver for you - he IS delivering for himself and for the firm. You are a valuable, but under-appreciated, resource who he's managed to keep in the fold. You make his life easier, which will also reflect favourably on his own performance review with his boss. Do you think if he had the qualities and opportunity you currently have he would hesitate very much at all? He also didn't jump at the opportunity to make the life of his valuable employee more comfortable by sorting out your ergonomic desk as effectively as he could have done - to the detriment of your health. It sounds to me that you could do much better than recommit on a personal, as well as a professional level, with a company which is losing client credibility and seems to have an uncertain future.

Why not interview for the new job and, if you are offered, see if you can negotiate for better enhanced maternity payments as well? If you ended up meeting in the middle you would still be financially better off, taking the increased salary and better benefits into account. Does the benefits include a good pension scheme - work out what that means to your financial package.

I also agree you should prioritise learning to drive and get a car to make your life generally easier. Would they provide a car or car allowance? In my last job I had the option of car or monthly allowance. I took the cash and used it to enhance my pension contributions. Perhaps you could use that towards your maternity pay as a second option.

Don't stand in your own way here, @aubz88. Try and be objective as possible when making your decision.

Good luck with whatever you decide. 🌹

Could you save the extra pay to go towards your own mat leave if you do decide to try for another child?

@Happynow001Thanks! That's a very good point you brought up about all the broken promises and putting other things ahead of my health!