23 years ago I was 22 and I was working full time and employing our first nanny (who stayed for 10 years, daily, live out)... I think one of the things I learnt quickly is that people do things different with your children, your husband does, the people who look after them and teachers at school and that we kind of need the humility to realise we may not always be right.
The other thing I noticed was that actually it's quite good for children to see different views - that sometimes the mother or father gets their stance wrong and it's good for the child to have that wrongness diluted by exposure to someone with a different view.
I always like this advice:-
"And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of to-morrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and he bends you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.
Kahlil Gilbran