Smiley face on a job application.

[RunBackwards]

Please, just don't

Probably don't mention twice how good your "banter" is either, it distracts from the fact that actually, your experience could be just what we need.

Also when awaiting an interview, please, please, please just do not wink at anyone who walks past, it could easily be the lady who is interviewing you!!

Can I add that if you are going to mention that you have 'exellent spelling and gramer', please ensure that you actually do.

Also, please do not quote Tupac lyrics to lead into your personal statement. It doesn't help a Nursing application.

That is crazy. Do people actually do these things?! Why?!

Don't tell me you don't know who your father is ....

Or at interview, down a can of red bull and then burp in my face

A picture of you with your children scanned onto the first page of your CV is not going to get you the job I'm afraid. Also comic sans is not a good font for a CV, nor does every paragraph need to be a different colour. Might possibly work if you were applying for a job as Mr Tumble's assistant but not here I'm afraid.

You also don't need to include your reason for leaving after each job. Reasons like "my boss died and my new boss didn't like me so I had to leave" or "I thought I would like the job but it turned out I didn't" might sound good in your head, on paper not so much....

This was all on the one CV btw!!

Don’t come in stoned.

Are these people from the jobcentre being compelled to apply for jobs that they don't want?

Please have a sensible email address, you know, based on your name. Not anything like”GiddeeCow@“.
Please don’t tell the interviewers to “oh fuck off”.

Hah.
Please don’t pick your nose in the interview.
Please don’t tell me about your dog on the application.
Please don’t submit a CV unless requested alongside the application form and if you do, make it less than eight pages for a twenty six year old.
Please make eye contact.

@SnuggyBuggy

Are these people from the jobcentre being compelled to apply for jobs that they don't want?

I'm willing to bet a lot of these errors come from people who AREN'T entry-level.

Watch out! Your prejudice is showing!

Please don't get aggressive when you are not asked to do the final stage of the interview because it's been an absolute car crash so far and we didn't want to waste the directors time as you were never in a million years going to get the job. And then don't phone up claiming you'd been discriminated against and would definitely have got the job if only you'd been invited to the last stage!

If you must have a photo on your CV , don't use your Facebook profile photo of you with a large glass of wine in your hand (I did smile when I saw this though )

I'm not prejudiced, I've been there myself where you just have to do a quota of applications to please them irrespective of whether it's a realistic or appropriate job to apply for.

I don’t know

You also don't need to include your reason for leaving after each job. Reasons like "my boss died and my new boss didn't like me so I had to leave" or "I thought I would like the job but it turned out I didn't" might sound good in your head, on paper not

The detail is inappropriate but this might a carry across from completing application forms as some have a question about reasons jobs ended.

I'll give you my favourite quote from a colleague in a different (university) interviewing a lecturer who had just left us...."i'm afraid I'm unlikely to offer anyone a job if he sits with his hands down his trousers fondling himself throughout the interview".

I haven’t got a clue how that posted. I didn’t even type anything!

If there are 5 essential criteria in the job spec please try to give the tiniest bit of evidence against all five.
For example, if one of the criteria is "Good understanding of hedgehogs" (or whatever) and the job is "Head of Hedgehogs" in the "Institute of Hedgehogs" then for the love of god please mention the word hedgehogs on your supporting statement.
Or at least, if you don't tailor your application, please don't have a massive go at me when you are not shortlisted.

Don't pull out your mobile when it pings halfway through the interview, then hold up a manicured hand in the interviewers face declaring "bear with". If you do this don't be surprised when the interviewer say "it's fine, we're done"

Please don't answer your phone in the middle of an interview, and have a whole conversation where you say "yeah, I'm in an interview right now."

@Twizbe

Don't tell me you don't know who your father is ....

Or at interview, down a can of red bull and then burp in my face

If that information is offered in the right context then I don’t see the issue. For example, someone could be talking about how they’ve never met/don’t know their father and feel that this has instilled a certain resilience in them to overcome struggle or personal demons that could then be helpful transferable skills for a job in say social care or mental health support work 🤷🏽‍♀️

Absolutely no burping of red bull. All my years of working in pubs serving jaeger bombs, I would have literally vomited on their face 🤢

When asked what your strong points are, don't tell me your star sign.

We need your photo on your application form so that we can remember you after the first round of 200 interviews. If you attach a picture of your dog instead of you then don't be annoyed that we don't remember you!

Also when awaiting an interview, please, please, please just do not wink at anyone who walks past, it could easily be the lady who is interviewing you!! .......

I know who that is and I told him off for it when he was a student