Am I mad not to take the full 18 months? What would you do?

[groundhoglet]

Would really appreciate some insight on this! I have a beautiful DD who just turned 9 months and my workplace offers a generous 18 months maternity leave (6 months full pay, the rest unpaid). I saved like mad to afford it and though it will be tight the full period is doable and it's what I planned for.

However tbh taking maternity leave this year has been, obviously, not what I expected and though it's been absolutely wonderful to be able to spend this much time with DD we've not been able to get out and do much at all. I found from about 6 months that I needed to split care with DH to stay sane and we have been doing that happily since then.

She has a place at a publicly funded nursery (not UK) so she will be going each morning for 4 hours as of November. This could be the way of things till next July. But I am worried if I am not working that the rest of maternity leave would be claustrophobic and hard as the pandemic is likely to continue in the same way at least until spring.

I am also starting to feel antsy to get back because 18 months feels a long time away, because I do miss work and because it would be good to have money coming in again. There's no option to go part time. Would it be silly to go back sooner - will I regret not being there for DD between 12-18 months when I could have been? She is already walking and so perhaps I am thinking she is more independent than she really is. I really love being there for her and being the one who knows her best. I also appreciate the time not being rushed, and that I have time to work on side projects (retraining, languages etc) which I love. I should add there is a risk of me being made redundant in July which makes me think I should get back so that I'm in people's minds for any other jobs that come up.

What would you do? Thank you for any perspectives you can give me.

Are you sure you can't go back part time or job share or don't you want to? Could you work a compressed week, four longer days instead?

I didn't enjoy maternity leave with DC1 and that wasn't during a pandemic. I went back to work (part-time) when he was 8 months old and was much happier after that. Tbh he got more interesting the older he got.

You said you don't have the option to go part time. Is it an option for your husband? You say you're already sharing care?

If I were you I'd just go back full time or use the time when baby's in nursery to find or train for a new part-time job.

Extended maternity leave and being a SAHM isn't for everyone. Some of us prefer going back to work sooner and that's fine!

Thanks a lot for this, unfortunately it's the kind of job where I'd probably be doing the same work for less money if I went part time, and also I'm worried about losing benefits if I've only been part time and I do get made redundant.

I think part of the problem is this year has been such a washout, I feel sad that I've not been able to have a normal maternity leave but if I stay off its probably not going to change that much anyway before July. I feel like because I am able to stay off then I should, for DD. But ill also be working from home so will probably be able to see her most days at lunch as the nursery is very close.

It's going to be very disruptive for your dd at nursery if you see her at lunchtimes and then she carries on at nursery for the afternoon.