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Original poster

Really weird meeting at work today

17 replies

PenOrPencil · 16/10/2020 20:07

I am the leader of a small team. Due to COVID our workload and stress have gone through the roof and more than half the team want out. I had a meeting this morning with the boss and his 2 deputies to “discuss why people want out”. Instead of a discussion the boss went on a massive rant about how shit it is that people want to “abandon” us, how ungrateful they are and so on. He kept saying how this was not my fault (it isn’t), but he was ranting at me the whole time.

I struggle to understand WTF he was hoping to achieve with this meeting, which had been scheduled in advance? I would have understood a spontaneous rant out of frustration, but he was actually referring to his notes throughout. I didn’t say anything, neither did the deputies. He is usually a really nice guy, so this was completely out of character. Was this some kind of “management technique”? Any ideas, hive mind?

OP posts:

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 16/10/2020 20:23

He sounds like a bit of a tit frankly.

Gizlotsmum · 16/10/2020 20:28

Stressed? Embarrassed that this shows his lack of control? Easier to rant than admit you need more people and he has done nothing about it.

user14179543589 · 16/10/2020 20:31

I used to have a boss who would rant away like that about our lack of gratitude (for what? Employers have all the power what are we supposed to be so incredibly grateful for?) but never from notes! That bit is bizarre.

I could maybe understand just getting frustrated and maybe looking at the notes trying to bring himself back to reason? I don't know...

Asterion · 16/10/2020 20:31

Is he being leaned on from above?

user14179543589 · 16/10/2020 20:32

Defensiveness can explain a lot of crappy behaviour actually.

HeddaGarbled · 16/10/2020 20:34

As stressed as everyone else and not handling it well.

Palavah · 16/10/2020 20:40

Does he own the company? Is he perhaps feeling stressed about keeping it afloat?

It's not an excuse, mind.

pastabest · 16/10/2020 20:48

Why do you think people want out?

I'll be honest I could be one of your team members (I don't actually think I am but it's a similar situation).

It isn't our manager's fault that what is happening to us is happening but she hasn't done nothing to try and mitigate the situation or challenge stuff she could have challenged.

We are desperate for her to tell the boss, honestly, why we all are looking for other jobs but she's doesn't have the ovaries to do it. So we will leave and she will be in the shit and will get blamed anyway.

Original poster

PenOrPencil · 16/10/2020 20:48

He is the big boss, nobody above him, and he is mega stressed.
Defensiveness and embarrassment are actually quite good calls. His behaviour was so bizarre!

OP posts:

Original poster

PenOrPencil · 16/10/2020 20:52

I have told him why people want out, @pastabest, and done everything I can (and more) to make things better. I think he might be realising that he is out of his depth and lashing out.

OP posts:

DeliciouslyFemale · 16/10/2020 20:52

@PenOrPencil

He is the big boss, nobody above him, and he is mega stressed. Defensiveness and embarrassment are actually quite good calls. His behaviour was so bizarre!

I’m wondering if he’s heading for a nervous breakdown. If he’s normally a decent block, he could be finding this next lockdown too much to cope with, emotionally. I own my own business and have been seriously affected by lockdown. Things were improving and my income is a little more regular, but after last time my stress levels and fear for the future, is through the roof.

MJMG2015 · 16/10/2020 21:06

Stress.

Does he own the business?

Are you normally quite 'in tune' or close?

Jellytottheif · 16/10/2020 21:10

I agree that it’s probably just absolute stress and he’s lost it and now isn’t dealing with it effectively.
You must try and speak to him again and try put a plan in place.

WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 16/10/2020 21:13

That sounds rubbish for everyone. Is there any way you can chair a meeting to come up with productive ideas to improve things?

Maybe an email saying 'we didn't manage to make much tangible progress in relation to the issues of x, y and z. I have some ideas i'd like to share and would like to hear from others so there's a meeting at 2pm and here's the agenda'

I appreciate he is more senior to you but maybe in this situation he'd be happy for you to take charge a bit? I don't know what the dynamic is like but you sound like you're in a senior position. It sounds like he is cracking a bit under immense pressure and if things are not brought under control you're going to start losing people.

Original poster

PenOrPencil · 16/10/2020 21:25

I think 1/3 of my team are definitely gone, 1/3 I might persuade to stay. I have massively stepped up to the plate lately (and been thanked and appreciated for it) but might just have to shoulder a bit more still.

I’m a bit embarrassed myself now that I didn’t realise just how stressed he is. He really is a decent bloke. He’s gone grey and is visibly losing hair as well.

OP posts:

WatchTooMuchBelowDeck · 17/10/2020 08:12

That sounds really hard but a last ditched attempt to pull together as a management team and try to resolve some of the issues does sound like it would be worth it. Good luck!

Babyroobs · 17/10/2020 11:41

@PenOrPencil

I’m a bit embarrassed myself now that I didn’t realise just how stressed he is. He really is a decent bloke. He’s gone grey and is visibly losing hair as well.

Are they finding new jobs easily in the current climate? As others have said it sounds like he is really on the edge poor bloke. If the behavior is out of character then just try and support him as much as possible. You can't stop people leaving if they are determined to but if he has previously been a good manager you'd think people might be sympathetic. I am fed up of my job, Lockdown has meant increased work load and the threat of funding being withdrawn. I can see my manager is stressed and not always managing things well but he is under a lot of pressure from above. Some of my team are pretty lazy and don't go the extra mile. All I can do is express my concerns to him and do the best I can to keep things afloat. I almost threatened to quit in an email this week but that will just stress him further.

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