Being treated unfairly at work, is there anything more I can do?

[Maria53]

I posted here a couple of months seeking advice. I have 2 managers in my department, one of whom is my line manager. We get on very well and she seems to rate me quite a lot.

But the other - has made catty comments since I started, undermined me often and criticised me in front of others. She micromanages me all the time, so I finally brought it up with my manager. Line manager said they dont agree her with her particular management method & said 'dont take it personally, she does this to everyone.'

Today she actually did it in front of my manager (on a call). I stood up for myself & later when I was waiting for another colleague to join us with my line manager, line manager said 'I wanted to talk you after what happened. 'The way other manager talks to people sometimes can be really' - but then had to be quiet as other colleague joined.

I actually had to turn my camera off in my next meeting due to getting a bit upset. Why is my manager giving her such an easy ride her and not taking her aside? What can I do?

I would look for a new job but it seems futile in this climate. My mental health is definitely at stake here.

There is no HR department.

It's so demoralising and awful when this happens. I wonder if you feel able to ask her for a word in private and just ask if she has a problem with you, ask if there's anything wrong and see what she says.

It's hard but in my experience it's nothing to do with you, it's a problem they're having and just taking it out on you. Trying to control things / be on top of things because there's something out of control going on with them

If the 2 managers are of equal seniority, then your LM needs to escalate it to her LM.

No they are not of equal seniority. My line manager is her boss. But it is a smallish company and the directors seem to love this person I am talking about it, so not sure what I can do.

This has happened at 9am fhis morning ani still feel weepy and out of sorts. I envy other companies that are looking out for their employees mental health.

I am just wondering if I should raise it again in a private chat with my LM? For me this 'yeah she can be a bit problematic' line is an insult.

A further issue that is I receive no training when I have to do new types of work and processes. The management is telling me I need to so some free tutorials - and yet they are also paying for another colleague to do a course that costs hundreds of pounds. If I dont know the answer to something I am being punished by this manager.

I reported a temp maternity cover manager, very bad manners picking on me, and stuff.
I tried informally to talk to her, in the end I wrote to my area manager, people team lady, and the lady above my area manager.
I told her in front of my area manager it was causing me stress, and it had to stop, and told her I expected respect, it worked

@Nsky I effectively would like my LM to have a word with her. I haven't come right out and said 'do you think you could have a word with her?' because I thought she might take some initiative and do that herself without me suggesting it.

Why is she simply saying there is a problem and then not tackling it?

Separately I am being asked questions I dont know the answers to (because I have had no education on them, not through a lack of being proactive). Both managers have said they are too busy to help me, so I need to learn everything myself. I barely have time to learn because my workload is huge.

I feel so unhappy. I am doing my best doing a global pandemic, going above and beyond to help my clients stay afloat during this time. I live alone (whereas all of my colleagues have at least 1 family member or partner at home) and that can be hard.

I feel I have little to no support at work even though I really like my LM as a person. She is mostly an invisible boss now, telling me she doesnt mean to neglect me but is snowed under with her own stuff. I also cant look for a new job because...what jobs?

I had one situation where I just stood there and kept calmly repeating “if you have a problem with my work, go and see manager “.

Supervisor did go and see manager and was told to pull his head in.

I suppose my point is that if you know your work is good and your supervisor knows your work is good, then sending all complainers (not complaints) to her will eventually force her to stand by her opinion of you.

Yes raise it informally with your manager, give her the facts of what has happened, tell her the effect on you and most importantly tell her what you would like her to do about it (eg ask her to treat me with respect and keep an eye on how she behaves to me, catch up again in two weeks).

If no luck, raise it formally with her (by email), next stage is go to her boss. If there’s no HR department that is their problem - HR represent the company in disputes, not the employee. Check ACAS website for advice.

I’m in an almost identical situation! Can’t offer much in the way of advice, but hugs 🤗

I have a similar problem OP. If your work is good and you're doing everything you should then you need to speak to your more senior line manager, be to the point and direct.

I've had years of my situation now and stood up for myself only yesterday. She tried to make me look incompetent in front of everyone and made out that I hadn't done my work properly and I had so I corrected her. I stayed professional and stuck to the facts.

I have emailed my line manager about the incident so that it's on record and just said that I wanted him to be aware of how I felt, that I have recorded the incident and that if anything similar happens again I will make an official complaint. He is way too relaxed about it imo so I need to make him aware that its affecting me.

I know she's going to make my life hell but the way I see it she does anyway so what's the difference. I know my work is good and I will stay extra vigilant now.

Good luck.

Hi again everyone. I was pulled up today for a mistake I made on the day the other manager had a go at me. This is not a mistake I have made before, so I apologised and explained I was feeling a bit shaken up/upset after what happened. I was told they were completely separate things

But they arent because I never used to make mistakes. So now because of this error it has been made clear I will be micro managed for the foreseeable, which makes me feel worse.

I have been feeling really weepy over the last week. I think I might be mildly depressed which has sneaked up on me. Worrying about losing my job and feeling quite distressed while realising that I need to sort myself out.

Any advice for anyone who has been in this situation and fought their way out of it? I'm struggling to see the wood for the trees.

I have also been told training isnt really available because our job is fast paced and we need to just teach ourselves. But I know my colleague in another department is going through an expensive training course at the moment. I am still young and feel I need further training as part of my personal development.

I can empathise as I’m in a very similar situation.

Feel free to message me Ceriane.

The senior managers value the manager more than you. That's no reflection on you or your ability, it's something that is completely beyond your control.

Sometimes the best way to fight your way out of a bad situation is to move on to something else. You shouldn't have to, but your mental health is far more important than proving a point to a nasty manager.

I'd start looking for another job when you have the time. I'm really sorry, it's a horrible position to be in, but there are some situations that you're never going to win.

I will do 😊

@ChaChaCha2012 yes you are right. But the thing is, I manage quite a few projects and have strong relationships with key people that no on else has. Why risk all that right now? Why not just have a quiet word with the manager about the way she talks to me as a means to resolve things?

The issue now is this - I've now spoken to my manager about the fact I am unhappy with the way this manager treats me including unwarranted intense micro management. Now I actually did make one mistake as a result of feeling so upset and anxious by this person's treatment of me that I am now told I will be micro managed further! That is a nightmare to me. Why cant she see it was one error following an upsetting exchange and the answer is not to put me under even more duress?

Yesterday a client told me how happy they were with my work (in the presence of my manager). Positive feedback from the clients is the only thing keeping me going at the moment, that and wanting to have a job until I find something new.