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Original poster

dh wants to be a paramedic, it would halve our salary... what would you do?

58 replies

thenewgirl · 09/10/2007 14:18

DH has been shortlisted for interview, I personally believe it is 'in the bag'

but it would halve our salary, mean moving house and definatly mean we would be on the breadline.

we have three kids, it's always been his dream job idea and it looks like he might just get it.

what do you think?

is it worth giving up our very cooshie life here (house comes with dh current job, few bills, beautiful home)

oh help!

any paramedics out there can you tell me that £15,000 rising to £19,000 when trained -is it worth it?

OP posts:
feetheart · 09/10/2007 22:37

I'd say 'go for it'. The opportunity may not come round again or may be the 'wrong time' again.

Dh gave up a job paying silly money just over 2 years ago to start up his own company with a couple of friends. We were expecting our second baby at the time and lots of people thought he was mad. We lived on thin air for at least a year and not much more (plus tax credits ) since but it has been SO worth it.
If you have been poor students you can do it again. Time spent being fully involved in your small children's lives and doing something you love far, far outweighs any amount of spare cash.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 09/10/2007 22:43

oh wow, thankyou... dh and I sat here reading your comments, very much apprieciated.

thankyou x

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Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 10:14

well, having slept on the advice from here, I have woken up feeling really positive about just going for it.

it gives me butterflies, but good ones.

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Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 11:06

YOu have to let people go with their dreams sometimes, although it's a pity his dream isn't to requalify as one of the UK's leading surgeons instead. Also women have as much an obligation to work as men so relying on male earnings is never morally sound anyway.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 11:13

I'm not sure I understand what you mean xenia, about not being morally sound?
would it be better then if I worked and he looked after the kids do you think? we would be better off but I don't get why it would not be morally sound for us to work in partnership in order to meet the needs of our family (ie. one work one care for kids)

but yes, as I said to him last night, my ideal would be that he fall in love with his current job!

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clerkKent · 10/10/2007 12:45

I had a friend who worked as a paramedic - she was able to fit several other part-time jobs/money-making schemes around her vocation. If you are really happy in your job, everything else gets easier (or easier to cope with).

Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 16:25

Morally unsound for women to be kept by men but that's a different topic. Why para medic and not doctor though? You can enter medicine as an adult more easily these days.

obabadabobba · 10/10/2007 17:00

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Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 17:24

xenia, he would and could train to be a doctor if it were cheaper to train, but we simply couldn't afford it, but not just that, the reality of working as a full time doctor is not desirable to dh (commitment etc) and hence reflected in the pay difference
he is of the opinion that the day to day thrill and excitement of the job of an experienced and well qualified paramedic would rival that of a hospital doctors.
and he would still have enough time to spend with his family.

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ceebeegeebies · 10/10/2007 18:42

I know this is repeating what I have already said but thought I would share something that happened to me only today.

Went to one of our stations for a meeting and bumped into someone that became a Trainee Paramedic about 6 months ago. Prior to that he had been working on the non-emergency transport side earning about £12k a year in order to gain experience to become a paramedic.

Prior to that, he had been a car salesman and therefore presumably, with commission, bonuses etc., earning a LOT more than 12k - but he took the huge paycut to come and work for the service and work his way up - saw him today and said how much he loved it, how grateful he was to be given the chance to 'play' (as he put it). As soon as he said it, I thought of you Newgirl

I think the best thing is for DH to go through the assessments etc and see if your feelings become clear as he gets further into the process?

Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 19:43

well ceebee, I think largely down to you, but also everyone who has offered their advice to me, dh and I have had a huge change of heart and are slowly realising that we simply must live our lives as we choose and not just accept this path that we stumbled apon a few years ago.
I've got excitement running through my viens!
and if he doesnt get it, then at least we know we are comfortable here and we can keep trying.

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Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 19:45

It's like the clouds have parted in my head and I can see straight!

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EllHell · 10/10/2007 20:24

Go for it MrNewGirl! Mr Ellbell is also sending him best wishes...

ceebeegeebies · 10/10/2007 21:02

Woohoo - am so pleased that the 2 of you are decided (and have to say, on the right decision ).

Good luck to MrNewGirl - if you need/want any more advice, you can either CAT me or find me around MN somewhere (I do spend a LOT of time on MN ).

Original poster
thenewgirl · 10/10/2007 21:54

ellhell and ceebee

thaaaaaaaaannnnnk yoooooooooooooooooouuuu!!!

x

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bossybritches · 10/10/2007 23:09

FWIW thenewgirl I'd second the previous posters but also want to add could you shore up some of your savings/free cash now before you move to cushion you through those early days while you adjust?

Cutting back a bit now might help you realise you CAN exist on less & get the children & you into the habit of being more careful with money.Horribly practical sorryJust a small point but it might help.

Good for you it's scary but sounds like the right thing to do- life IS too short etc etc

Good luck to all of you!!

HonoriaGlossop · 10/10/2007 23:28

I agree with Bossy. I think if you really haven't had to worry about money then it could be easy to get shocked by the reality.

I'd work out what you'll have to live on each month when he's doing that job; and live on that NOW to get used to it. We've struggled for years, we've even sold our house to downsize so that I could be almost a SAHM when ds was pre-school; and it is not fun, or easy. Financial struggles are some of the hardest to live with.

I actually think you are doing the right thing though. I really don't think it would be a good thing for your dh to miss out on something he wants so much to do. Life comes first, money second and that's how it should be.

I just think you need to prepare yourselves as far as possible for being broke; which, if it doesn't sound fun now, will be 100% less fun when it's reality.

Original poster
thenewgirl · 11/10/2007 08:57

thanks bossy and honoria,
when I started this thread, I was expecting people to tell me horor stories of what it is like to struggle financialy with a young family, I was almost hoping to be drastically put off as is would be an easier option.
with all this encouragement I feel really positve and excited but I'm still under no illusion that it will be hard.
that is a really sensible idea to try and live on what we potentially will have to live on with the new job and house move, we will give it a go over the next couple of months.

there is another dilema, although its almost a new thread topic... I'll test it on here to see if anyone is still reading this one!
so, having done some investigation into tax credit entitlement etc, we have been advised that we would recieve over £100 per week in child tax credit but also, to my amazment, about £500-£600 per month in housing benefit to pay rent.
the dilema is that last year we bought a house on a buy-to-let, we took a loan for the huge deposit and have paid off nearly half in a year (£9000)
we obviously couldnt get housing benefit if we owned a house but my theory is that the house is a bit of a white elephant in that it would never make us the £500 per month that we would recieve in rent benifit if we didnt have it iyswim?
but then we could really struggle for the next 5 years until kids are at school and can earn more and keep the house for longer term security.
or we could be more comfortable and not have the house..

if we sold up we would possibly break even on everything we had spent buying it, as well as early get-out-of-mortguage fee.

its a long one, any thoughts?

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HonoriaGlossop · 11/10/2007 09:29

If it was me I would keep the house, even if it meant more of a struggle. It's better to be somewhere on the ladder than nowhere IMO. Obviously if you're going under at some point, then you'd have to look at selling it I suppose, but I just think it has to be better to own property than not.

That's what I would do, anyway!

Donk · 11/10/2007 10:16

Go for it! But look at his pension provision. The pension is good, but according to my paramedic sister who is also a union rep, lots of paramedics don't make it to retirement age due to back injuries.....

Judy1234 · 11/10/2007 10:35

Do you rent now but own a house you let out or do you live in the house you own?

Original poster
thenewgirl · 11/10/2007 10:53

we live in a cottage that comes wth dh's job but we own a house that we let out. (it has a very good tennant that wants the house forever) the rent covers the mortgage but we have also had to spend money on the house every now and again so it hasnt made us anything. also we would possibly have to swap to an interest only morggage to make ends meet if we moved jobs/house.

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susie100 · 11/10/2007 15:12

Ok I am going to be the dissenting voice here. is there anyway your DP can go and do 2 weeks work experience before he leaps?
My sister's DP went through something similar 2 years ago and gave up a job he was not inspired by but gave them a comfortable life to do what he thought was his true vocation. 1 yr of training and a huge paycut later he enjoys it but the family are finding the financial strain quite hard indeed. They find they are arguing about money a lot and although they can meet bills etc the little extras that tend to crop up every month (boiler packing up, kids need shoes) push them over the edge. What's more I don't think the new job was all he thought it would be and does not compensate for the loss of income.

Your life does sound really comfortable now and 3 kids is a big responsibility.
If your dp hates his job and is miserable then it would be a no -brainer for him to move but sounds as though he is happyish?

Sorry, I don't want to be the voice of gloom but thought you might want another perspective. Seeing my sister struggling has been tough, she gets quite tearful about it/

obabadabobba · 11/10/2007 15:22

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Original poster
thenewgirl · 11/10/2007 15:24

thankyou susie, yes I really do need to know about the harsh reality. dh said last night that his current job would be his second choice of career. so, yes, work experience would be very useful although not possible due to insurance.

one thing we don't argue about is money, I really don't know if it would be a problem for us or not. us not having money is one thing but seeing the kids go without would be hard.

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