I’ve worked at the same company for 5 years, transferred to a different dept a year ago and I’ve struggled ever since.
It’s very disjointed, no support and anytime I voiced a concern I was assured I could only do as much as I can and keep going.
2 years ago I was diagnosed with general and social anxiety. My manager was aware and although taking medication I haven’t been very well mentally since starting in the new dept and things have spiralled out of my control.
I’m so forgetful which in turn I’m making mistakes and now these mistakes are being highlighted to senior managers and I’m in trouble.
I miss read an email and diarised a meeting incorrectly. Some people turned up at wrong time some had no idea I’d changed the date and time etc. It was a mess to sort out and very embarrassing as I’m usually very focused. In the 5 years I’ve never had any problem doing my work but this year it’s all gone wrong.
I’ve had an investigation meeting for the above and awaiting a date for disciplinary meeting and that’s just tipped me over the edge. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t leave I need the money and if I didn’t have work I know my mental health would further deteriorate.
My GP wants me to have some time off but I know everyone will think I’ve only done that because of the disciplinary looming and I’m on a wait list to see a psychotherapist but it’s very long.
I’m so down and my head is all over the place, I can’t concentrate and I’ve just realised I’ve made another mistake late last year which will have an impact now. I’m making myself look like an idiot.
I just don’t know what to do for the best.