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Anxious and worried about returning to work

1 reply

Cakeandcookies · 25/08/2020 09:37

Hi all,

I’m hoping for some advice on here. I feel like I’ve got myself in a little bit of a pickle. I am a primary teacher and I love my job. Before expecting ds I had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic, I suffer with Ibd and was really poorly. When pregnant with ds my school put so much pressure on me I became really unwell and was so worried I would lose him too.

4 weeks after miracle ds was born via section and I was back in hospital with a large ruptured hematoma my boss contacted me wanting to know when I would be returning to work. This happened every 2-4 weeks. I wanted to take the year off but was hoping to return part time as all other teachers have. I was told that if I wanted part time I would have to return at the beginning of the school year when ds would just turn 8 months. I would not be paid over the summer, due to covid, despite previous mat leaves being paid for attending at the end of the time (the school was still open) and I would not be enetitled to planning time as I will only be working the end of the week. I know a lot of this is wrong and have contacted my union but she is refusing to budge. I don’t know whether it is because of my condition but I work hard, attend all school events and go above and beyond, I’m not sure why I’m being treated like this as we have never had a personal issue.

Despite not working a Tuesday I’ve also been told via email I must attend the training on Tuesday next week and I won’t be paid its part of my new contract (I don’t have a copy). I feel so anxious and worried I don’t want to go back now. My ds is under a consultant at Great Ormond Street (this happened 2 weeks ago) everything in my heart is saying to leave but legally I don’t know where I stand. I just don’t know what to do but it is making me so unhappy. My hubby keeps telling me that this isn’t normal and that it’s not worth making me unwell but I feel torn. Any gentle advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
BlueRose18 · 25/08/2020 11:07

Hi. Firstly, I’m really sorry to hear of everything you’ve been through.

I can’t really tell you what to do but I personally believe that a job and money is always available and can be put on hold when need be. Health comes first. I feel it seems quite unfair of your work to be putting such pressure on you.
If it was me, I’d look into what other financial options I have, you mentioned a DH, would he be willing to take on the financial pressure if you left the job, got health back up and then looked for new work when you’re ready? Is he in a position where he could provide for the whole family financially without causing any problems such as debt etc?
It’s difficult because if you quit then you may not be entitled to UC. Which is why I ask if your DH is able or willing to take it all on Financially (you don’t have to actually tell me, I’m just suggesting as something for you to think about 🙂)
Also if you’re receiving maternity pay I have heard that you may have to pay that all back to your employer if you don’t go back to work. Look into that as well. There may be exceptions considering your health but check.
I didn’t have to pay back my maternity and they carried on paying me until it was planned to end even though I couldn’t go back to work. That was only because I ended up moving away due to DV and going back wouldn’t have been safe for me. So there are exceptions but double check.
I’m not sure what else to advise but I do hope whatever you do it is best for you.
Take care of yourself. All the best x

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