Going back to work after second baby

[amiikaley]

Hi ladies
I've been thinking about not going back to work after my second child. I only just returned to work after having my first (harder then normal due to the world) we won't be having a second child for at least another year but it's already in my mind about work. I'm not enjoying work as much as I did before I had my little boy. I just wanted to no people thoughts on not working? How do you cope with the money and also the social side of adult conversation. Were you happier not working or did you miss work? Also did you find the little ones suffered by not being left with childcare givers?

Thanks

Does your partner earn enough for you not to be working?

I went back to work after my second baby and only lasted four months. It was just too hard to juggle everything. And the pittance I was bringing home after paying double bubble nursery fees just didn’t make the stress and exhaustion worth it.

But I had zero help from family and DH worked away during the week. With more support I might have stayed on. How much help do you/will you have?

I wouldn’t have considered it (we did discuss DH being a SAHD but he decided he didn’t fancy it). My MH would have suffered enormously. We have an excellent CM who the DC adore (we had tears because they missed her so much in lockdown). I think my DC would have suffered much more if I’d stayed home, money would have been tighter (I’m the higher earner) and I would have been permanently frustrated. It’s a very individual decision and not one I would consider if I wasn’t married and didn’t have a job I could pick up easily after a long break. And had my DH’s full backing that it was best for all of us. And probably his agreement to make pension contributions for me.

Full disclosure - I never considered being a SAHP.
However I had a very long mat leave with my second (15months) and was very daunted by the thought of returning to work. I found the first 6-9months really tough, definitely tougher than going back after the first. However that was 4 years ago now and a distant memory. I have been promoted twice in that time, my salary has increased considerably and I enjoy my job.

I am so glad I persevered as I now have a highly paid but flexible job (work for a fab company who really promote flexible working and work life balance). We used a fantastic local nursery which we still use now for holiday club. I have a 2yr8m age gap, so for the first 14 months I was back at work after DC2 our nursery bill was c£1400 a month, but it was so worth pushing through that time.

Me and my husband haven't discussed the money side to it just yet, just that I've been thinking about it, since returning to work. I'm lucky as I have family looking after my little boy, just I think it would be a lot of work for my mother in law to handle a toddler and a baby.
I'm so stuck on what would be the best for everyone.