Too ill for my sickness meeting

[Workinprogress30]

It’s next week. I am desperately unwell today, I feel suicidal (but safe). How can I have a meeting when I can’t even face my family/friends? Or do I go and just be honest about how unwell I am?

Hi OP.

I work in HR and have conducted many meetings around absence etc.

Please speak to your GP and ask them to assess if you’re medically fit to take part in such a process.

It’s not unusual that people aren’t. I’ve had so many cases where someone is out due to mental health reasons and they’re just not well enough to have any engagement. It’s part of the illness.
Personally, I’m always happy to receive a GP note like this because at least I know the employee is speaking to their GP, and receiving care.

Caveat- I work for a huge organisation and we take a very gentle approach to absence where there’s a genuine reason like health issues- but we do need to manage it. Our aim is to get the person well so that they’re able to return to work as soon as they’re completely fit to do so. Sadly, the longer someone is out, the less likely they are to come back. We’d never do a disciplinary for absence due to health, but often don’t have that info upfront and being told that someone isn’t medically fit because there’s a bigger issue is often the first indication we have.
I know this isn’t the case in many companies and they take a much harder line.

OP, be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up, take the advice given above about perhaps emailing before to say how scared you are about this and definitely speak with your GP. Give yourself a hug, sounds like you need a hug right now.

Thank you all, you’re all so lovely! I have been re-reading these to myself when I’m feeling anxious again and it has really helped bring me back down. I’m sure I’ll feel much better once it is over

OP, just to let you know I've had a few return to work meetings and one hearing over the years due to intermittent mental health issues and I've cried floods in every single one. Your manager will expect this.