Being asked about family in a job interview

[Isthisalright]

During a job interview today I was asked "what do your family think about you applying to be a (role)?". I'm mid 30s so I'm guessing they meant partner/kids rather than my parents and siblings, but as I'm single I said "well I'm not married, but my wider family are very excited about me applying for the job, although I'm an adult so I wouldn't need their approval to apply" or something like that. They then clarified that they asked because I need a support network in place, given the challenging nature of the work. In my mind, it would be better to ask "what is your support network like?", rather than ask people to talk about family. If I had kids, I may have felt pressure to talk about that, when it's not relevant to whether I can do the job. And what if I was estranged from my family and my friends were my support network - I'd have probably felt I had to disclose that. Is this an ok question to ask in an interview? I kind of feel that it's not, but I'm really unsure.

No you're right. It was badly worded. They could have said something about the pressures of the job and asked if you had a support network or even better, outlined THEIR strategies for helping employees deal with that pressure.

that sounds like a company that plans and expects to discriminate against those with caring responsibilities. are you sure you want to work there?

They were fishing to find out if you had children and what your child care arrangements were.

Good god, does this still happen. I was asked in a civil service (
Graduate entry scheme) interview back in 1987 how did my boyfriend feel about the fact I might potentially have to move areas quite often.
I asked them if they asked the male candidates that, and decided there and then it wasn’t the career for me. I would suggest the same still applies, unless you like working for dinosaurs.

That would be a big red flag for me, if I were interviewing there. Not the sort of place I'd want to work.

It’s not very tactful to ask. Maybe the person who held your interview was rubbish and not necessarily the company you are applying for. Do they have a point is it a role you would need support in? (I’ve never heard anything like it sounds odd). Supposing you didn’t really have much family or they lived in another Country.

Thanks all. I'm glad that it wasn't just me. I do think it was probably a badly worded question rather by an individual rather than the ethos of the organisation, given what else I know about the organisation. That is partly why it caught me off guard to that extent.

@Joebloggsss it's a job that would have quite emotionally demanding days, so I can see they would want to make sure I know how I would manage that, but I do think a better question might have been "what steps would you take to process a particularly difficult week at work?" or something, and allow me to decide whether family is part of that or not.

I might mention it to HR, although I'd feel a bit bad as the person who asked it was really nice - just asked a weird question!

I was asked “ What does your husband think about you joining this job?” Ffs. It was 25 years ago and I thought this nonsense had stopped.
In a different career I was also asked when I was planning on having children.

If the person doing the asking will be the line manager, this would really, really put me off taking the job.

Beware many organisations have decent policies but a bad culture, and I would view that question as a massive red flag.

I've decided I'll email HR. I won't make it a complaint but just let them know that these questions are being asked in interviews, so they can consider doing some refresher training or something. I would take this job if offered, so perhaps I should wait to hear back, in case I jeopardise my chances by rocking the boat! It's in a sector that has had historically not been very inclusive but has been quite proactive in trying to change that. It wouldn't surprise me if there were still some remnants of old ways of thinking but I do think that overall things are moving in the right direction.

I think it’s a good thing that you emailed HR. I hope all goes well.

They shouldn't be asking that - sounds like a family planning Q