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Original poster

Back to work, husband taking over with 9 month old baby

10 replies

Heathski2020 · 20/07/2020 05:32

I'm returning to work in August and my husband is starting Shared Parental Leave. Does anyone have any experience doing the same and do you have any advice for handover both practical and emotional.

Up till now I have been doing the lions share of everything baby-related so I worry DH is in for a shock!

OP posts:
stackhead · 20/07/2020 05:52

My DH took over when my DD was 6 months. It was fine and their bond is amazing. It hurts a little when she prefers him though!

Tips. Try and get a couple of trial runs in. I realise it's hard with Covid, but a couple of times before I went back to work I left the house at the time I would normally leave for work and returned at after work time. It made sure that he was fully prepared for the long days on his own.

Other than that I think just accepting that he will do things differently to you and letting him get on with it!

Wheresmycider · 20/07/2020 05:57

Did this with our first and it was brilliant for us both.
Ask your partner what he would find helpful for the transition. A rough timeline of a usual day perhaps. Will he be happy choosing and preparing meals or would he rather he was told what to give little one each day.
Usually i would say dont forget a list of baby groups etc but that may not be possible for the foreseeable.

AdriannaP · 20/07/2020 06:08

We did this too when DD was 9m old. As others said, do some KIT days or give them time alone (half a day at least). My DH was fine, sure did some things differently than me
but they had a lovely time. Your
DH will figure it out and have fun. I wouldn’t worry. He is her father for life after all so it’s time he got more involved.

AdriannaP · 20/07/2020 06:10

I didn’t prep any meals, but told my DH her routine and meal times/nap times.

beela · 20/07/2020 06:16

Don't prep the meals!! Otherwise you will end up doing all the work as well as going back to work and running yourself into the ground.

But you do have to hand over control accept that they might do things slightly differently to you. And that's fine - they are an equal parent.

MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood · 20/07/2020 06:17

Will he be happy choosing and preparing meals or would he rather he was told what to give little one each day.

Jesus christ. Really?! Raise your standards immediately. He is the baby’s father and feeding them to keep them alive is bare minimum!

My dh did the same. I handed baby to him and went to work.Don’t micro-manage. If he has a question he will ask. Dont assume he can’t work out how to take care of his child.

MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood · 20/07/2020 06:19

@AdriannaP

I didn’t prep any meals, but told my DH her routine and meal times/nap times.
This. But also be aware nap times and napping needs change as they get older.

Doing thing different isn't doing them wrong. unless it is loading the dishwasher from the front

katmarie · 20/07/2020 06:57

We did this with our first, it didn't even occur to me to prep meals or anything like that. I did a couple of kit days at work, and dh and ds found their own routine together. They have a great bond now, and dh is very much an equal parent to me. If your dh has questions I would answer them, but otherwise let them get on with it

kiwiblue · 20/07/2020 06:58

We did this too with my first when he was 9m. It was great and he and DH still have an amazing bond (he definitely prefers DH to me a lot of the time!)

I'd make sure he knows the practical stuff like nap times and baby classes (not so much the classes at the moment), and as others say, let him get on with it. Maybe get him to do more in the weekends before you go back, like naps, packing the nappy bag before you go out, preparing the baby's meals.

Gumbo · 20/07/2020 07:15

I went back to work when my baby was 4 months old and DH became a SAHD. It worked brilliantly and allowed me skip cheerfully off to work after any bad nights without a care in the world Grin

The main tip I have is to understand that there is more than one way of doing things... so when I'd come home and find that DS was dressed in a really odd combination of clothes, or has eaten food for dinner that I wouldn't have selected, or had his nap a bit later than I'd have preferred - it was OK, and I leaned to take a step back and accept that he was happy and clean and well cared for which is all that mattered. Dh and DS developed a very strong bond which was lovey Smile

I always took DS out for a few hours on our own at the weekend to give DH a break and to spend time with DS...it worked really well - enjoy it!

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