Thinking about giving up work...what would you do, Oh MN Jury?

[Roseylea]

Could you help me sort my head out? I am veering between thinking that I should give up work, and then changing my mind.

So...I've got 2 dc, aged 3.5 yo and 5 yo. Ds (3.5 yo) is at nursery in the mornings, dd (5 yo) has just started Yr 1. I went back to work when ds was 2. My dh's job is demanding but his hours aren't too long, compared to friends' dhs. I work 3 days a week. I'm also studying and preparing for a career in the future which I really want (something different to what I'm doing atm).

The thing is, I'm just soooo tired and stressed. Dh isn't very tidy / housework-orientated, so I do most / all of the housework / cooking / etc. Dd has got severe eczema and a raft of food allergies, and bless her, needs a lot of physical care. She also gets reading and writing practise to do every evening now and so I spend time with her on that. Ds is just a sweetheart, but I feel guilty that I'm not having enough fun with him because I'm always having to do jobs in the home or I'm at work.

At work, I'm doing a job which is enjoyable, working with teenagers, whom I really like being with. I'm working hours which are really family-friendly, and my job is a 5 min drive from where I live. I don't get paid megabucks, but if I were to give up, we'd feel the financial squeeze.

The crux of it is that I'm too over-streched, and I'm feeling it more and more - getting irritable and tetchy, suffering from insomnia, starting to resent all the stuff I do instead of enjoying it.

So is it worth the financial stress of not earning, in order to buy myself (literally) more time? I also wonder if not "working" outside the home would damage my confidence and make me less likely to fulfil my ambitions.

Sorry to be long and rambling...

i think its pants you have to give up your job becuase your lovely dh whom you love v. muchly cant help out

well fuck that.

make a rota - spell it out

you cook tea on mon wed fri - whoever cooks doesn't wash up.

you do 3 loads of washing on a sunday

you help the kids with their homework tue and thurs.

print it out
cellotape to kitchen door

I think 3 days a week should be managable for you if, as Custardo spells out, oyu get your dh to help and get yourself a bit more organised. It seems such a shame to give up a job you like with perfect hours for the kids too.

Could you reduce the hours that you work, would that help? I also work 3 days per weeks and have a DH who does nothing around the house (but does work 50+ hrs per week, so I don't mind - he helped before I went part-time). I'd never consider getting a cleaner, dd (2) likes helping clean, I give her a duster or J-cloth and we make it into a game. But it does sound like this is getting you down. Could you work 2 days per week instead? And perhaps send ds to a preschool session on one of your days off just to give you a couple of hours to yourself? Make sure you get hwat your entitled to in help with child care costs, he should be getting some free hours now he's 3 and you might get some tax credits too. Sounds like your job is rewarding, I also do a low paid and rewarding job, and would jump at the chance to drop to 2 days per week if we could afford it. Could you add structure to your days off so you have time for ds, like going to the park, going swimming or another type of club so he has quality time with you, I try to do this with dd, I'm just distracted by jobs at home so I find it easier to be out to spend quality time with her.