Bit of background : am 34, no children. I’ve worked in marketing since I was 20 and at end of 2019 secured my first management role in marketing. I earn very good money, perks etc – but the stresses of the job, the team management, the corporate bulls**t, pandering to senior management – it just sucks the life out of me. The aspects of the job I enjoyed – being creative and working on different projects – are now what I delegate to my team and I spend my life in meetings, budget spreadsheets, dealing with and coaching staff and managing HR issues and creating strategy documents. I’m so bored. 3 years ago I also went through an extremely traumatic time suffering from cancer. I’ve not been the same since – I don’t get excited by corporate careers, I just see it all as meaningless. I want to do something I am passionate about.
Since Covid, I just can’t stop thinking that I would love to go back to university and retrain as a nurse or midwife and be able to build a career in healthcare and ‘give back’. I can’t stop thinking about it if I’m honest. But I feel like I’d be letting my partner down, would mean a massive salary drop for us. We are in debt currently but once debt is cleared, could probably start saving some of my salary for a mortgage (we rent currently), so that’s another reason I feel it’s a non-starter. I feel like I’m stuck in this job/career now because it pays well. But, is it the be all and end all? I also know I could earn similar/not a lot less than what I earn now by working in healthcare and topping up with bank/agency shifts - so if I really wanted to, I could make more money. But I know in these kinds of careers money shouldn’t be the main motivator.
I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of being excited by a career, having different pathways and options and specialisms. The possibilities to me just seem endless and excite me more than I can say, not to mention it’s something I am so so passionate about since my own battle with cancer a few years ago at a (relatively) young age. I feel quite desperate at the thought of being stuck in a corporate role for the rest of my life just because it brings in a decent chunk of money reliably (for now anyway - redundancy is always a threat). But am I being idealistic? I know the NHS and nursing is really tough – especially at the moment – but it doesn’t phase me, I can’t stop thinking there’s more for me in my life than this.
AIBU?