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Thoroughly fed up - working mum advice needed!
8

ShowgirlnamedLola · 02/07/2020 21:45

Just feeling sorry for myself really...
I have two little boys - oldest is due to start school in September. After maternity leave, I went back to work three days and it’s great for work/life balance and all that but I always feel a bit ‘held back’ and overlooked not being full time. Plus I miss the extra cash...
an amazing opportunity has come up within my team and DH plus everyone I’ve spoken to about it said I need to go for it. But it’s full time and more senior so it’ll be more demanding. I love the sound of that but practically speaking how can I do that with two kids? I’ll need to pick my sons up just after 3 every day - due to Covid they’re not offering wrap around anymore. I also feel torn because my kids are so little, should I be focussing on them for a little longer?
I don’t think Dh fully realises that if we’re both full time, childcare responsibilities are 50:50. Hrs so used to me doing the running around (which is fine as I do work part time to allow for that)
Ugh so yeah just fed up and frustrated. Yes I’m a mum but I have ambitions for myself too... I’d love to hear how other working mums have tackled this?

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Piixxiiee · 02/07/2020 21:52

Similar situation here. Youngest starts school in September and I was doing 3 days but as of September fulltime- an opportunity presented that I would have been stupid to pass up. Now with covid I'm concerned about the logistics and impact on the kids of us both full time. I sympathise.....

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Oly4 · 02/07/2020 21:56

I have 3 kids and work FT. My saving grace is that most of my work is from home and it’s flexible. So I can go out and collect the kids from school etc. I take extra holiday if I can and make weekends fab.
You can do it but your DH needs to pull his weight (can he do half the school runs?) . I also have a cleaner and send out ironing in desperate times!
You do have to make the time you have with the kids count and it is tiring but I wouldn’t be without the cash/prospects. I enjoy work which helps

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FanSpamTastic · 02/07/2020 21:57

You don't have a childcare issue - you have a DH issue.

Sit him down and come up with a plan that shares the family duties evenly.

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sunlightflower · 02/07/2020 21:58

You've answered your own question really, your DH needs to pull his weight! The wraparound childcare situation is rubbish but won't be forever, in the meantime can't you share pick ups/drop offs? Also outsource more stuff as a PP suggested.

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vixb1 · 02/07/2020 22:00

Ok, firstly, just go for the opportunity. If it's what you want and financially it'll be better for you, just go for it and then you've set the wheel in motion.

Then, sit down with your husband and make a plan. What would a great arrangement look like? How can you make it work. Think post-lockdown first. When can you carve out some great time with the kids? When is time with your husband? Start with the end in mind and make it work!

Then tweak and change it for lockdown and Covid planning. What does a temporary plan need to look like? How can you work together to make that work?

If you really want it, go make it happen! Good luck!

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PutBabyInTheCorner · 02/07/2020 22:20

Go for it.
I've worked full time since all three of mine were 6 months old.
My husband also works full time but we have a great childminder who does the pick-ups.
If financially that doesn't make sense come to a compromise with your husband.
For us we both have long commutes but I finish work an hour early to pick up the kids then catch up in the evening and this works ok.

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cristinapastor89 · 05/07/2020 22:30

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Clarinet53 · 08/07/2020 23:12

Are you able to start earlier and your husband do the school run and you finish at 3 to do the afternoon pick up?

Are you able to work from home to make the time up until wrap around care is opened up again?

My husband and I used to split the school runs. I did the morning, he’s a postie and was there in the afternoon. When he left I changed how I work so I did the last couple of hours of the day from home.

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