I'm due to go back to work on Monday next week. I've been off on mat leave since the end of October. Before I went off they agreed I could use my KIT days to phase my return.
Things are not going well. I contacted my manager about 4 weeks ago to touch base and didn't hear back. I contacted him again about 3 weeks ago and we had a brief phone conversation, I'll be working from home for the first time and there's things that need to be organised for that to happen. He said he'd get it sorted and call me back a few days layer. He didn't.
I contacted him again this morning (Monday) as I'm due back in a week and still don't know what's going on. He said that things still aren't organised and he'll need to let me know if I can use my KIT days as planned.
I had bad PND and anxiety and I'm taking medication for both, I was doing ok but all this back and forth and uncertainty is really getting to me. I'm here again tonight unable to sleep worrying about if I'm going back, when I'm going back. When I'll be expected into the actual office. What my workload will be like as colleagues have told me it's hectic right now with no adjustment for the whole workforce being at home. I'm getting so worried that my anxiety will keep getting worse and I won't be able to perform. Several people have been let go recently for underperforming. I can't afford not to work but I'm so worried I won't cope.