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Taking the blame and toxic co-worker

4 replies

Lomita277 · 19/06/2020 20:33

I am just looking for help here on how to back myself up as I have had two very negative situations arise with my employer and a co-worker. To give the background on this, I have been working in this professional field for just three years- I’m 52 and retrained when my children were much older. I did my work experience in the very small town that I live in and that turned into a job for me. I am paid a very low wage (I could make the same in retail or a supermarket for example), but accepted the trade off for convenience and zero commuting time. A lifestyle choice.

One of the jobs I was responsible for was a bit beyond my capabilities and I asked my employer for help. This person is very busy and tends to leave tasks aside until they become urgent or will give them to a co-worker. This particular co-worker is a long term worker in my field, younger but more experienced, very small town minded but very good at her job. This is the second time that this has happened to me. She will go to employer and say that I have basically left the job a mess when I left unfinished business to employer to help me with. Employer does not remember because job was put on hold until he could give it to her to finish. Now they both blame me and throw me under the bus!

If I were to be cynical, I would feel that I am paid so poorly it’s not worth the stress to care anyway but I like the job, I want to learn more and improve and my employer can be a very good person. It’s just that we have a work environment with literally zero training, and you just hate interrupting people to help you out.

And this co-worker is pretty toxic. She’s happy to sell you out and go whisper to everybody about you. She pretends to be your friend but really is very gossipy.

What should I do to protect my job and my integrity? I don’t feel like a person who is incompetent for their position but as somebody older who re-trained I feel they take for granted that I should have the 20 years or so experience they have even though I really have 3???

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 20/06/2020 08:58

If you're on minimum wage, and having to work in a toxic environment, the conclusion you've drawn is probably the right one - that you aren't paid enough to get that amount of crap dished out to you by an unhelpful colleague who wants to blacken your name and an unsupportive employer.

I'd take the line of least resistance and look for something else, I can almost guarantee you it won't get any better while these two pieces of work are in the office. Move somewhere where Personal development and training is supported and at least people value your positive attitude.

daisychain01 · 20/06/2020 08:59

What aspects are you currently struggling with? Maybe I can give you a steer on the type of training you could look for, even if it's to prepare you for your next role.

Lomita277 · 20/06/2020 13:23

Hi daisychain01. We’re talking financial accounting. I did ACCA and have two European languages and never really into the practice side which is where I ended up. I thought I’d go to a multinational but I liked the flexible working hours. It’s really hard to get support in work on messy issues where nothing adds up as they say and I haven’t really found much online that is geared towards people working on a practical level. Was thinking of doing mentoring with ACCA for help but work envt is so small where I live that it would be hard to remain anonymous and confidential.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 20/06/2020 21:13

With those qualifications, including languages, I would definitely consider securing a role where you can use your skills and get paid what you are really worth.

With the COVID-19 situation many companies have had to change their attitude to flexible working and someone with your skills could soon be in a more senior role where you can request a few days working from home and expect to be given autonomy to get on with the job.

I don't think you would need to worry about confidentiality with the mentoring with ACCA - it's a very professional organisation and they are there to support its members. I'm not sure how you think someone would get to know, and even if they did, it's your business, not theirs.

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