Friend’s boyfriend has overcharged and didn’t complete work

[MotherhoodRising]

A friend of mine’s boyfriend had moved in with her a year ago and decided to sit at home taking handouts from her rather than getting a job. Knowing it was causing their relationship strain, I gave him temporary work in my small business on a self employed basis. We agreed a day rate for 3 days a week 9-5:30 and set certain tasks that needed to be completed.
Just before lockdown, I was discussing with him the process of invoices being inputted and how payments Couldn’t be made until I had Checked and approved each invoice.
He replied with “okay but I logged on and paid myself by the way”.

I was so taken aback, and tbh quite enraged that a complete stranger to my business and casual worker had dug out my account log in details from paperwork, logged in, and transferred to his personal account £1000 without submitting a single invoice or allowing me to check the work or approve the invoices, that because it was my friends boyfriend I just went quiet and said we’d pick this conversation up later. Fortunately 2 days later we went into lockdown and there was a natural end to his work there.

He left the historic invoices as we closed for lockdown and when I checked through he’d charged me for days he wasn’t rota’d in for (he’d seemingly gone in on my days off when there would have been no work to complete and then charged me for them), charged me full days for days he started late and left early, and when I went through the tasks that had been set I had to spend the first week of lockdown redoing them because they either hadn’t been done or had been done incorrectly.

He’d paid himself for work that wasn’t completed, hours he wasn’t there and days I’d asked him not to work. Then submitted another invoice for the last two days before lockdown and chased me for it til I said, he hadn’t pro rata’d the days he started late or finished early so wasn’t actually owed.

Again, mindful he was my friends boyfriend I chose not to say the real feelings that the work hadn’t been completed, he’d paid himself for days that weren’t asked of him on my days off or the fact that he’d spent most of the time on his phone to his mates so no wonder work wasn’t done.

I figured I’d have the chat face to face after lockdown to clear the air. Unfortunately, my friend has Now decided to ignore me the whole time and a conversation is due. How would you approach it?

I would be going to the police.
Hunting down the bank account log in details, logging in without permission and transferring money to himself without your knowledge or permission is theft.

I would give him 7 days to return the stolen money before going to the police to report the crime.

He logged into your bank account? How did he manage to do that? Wouldn’t he need passwords etc?

Wow you must be pretty lax with your paperwork if he was able to just pay himself!

I'd report to the police too and would absolutely be changing all of my login details and passwords for any systems that I use / building access codes etc and reviewing my processes so that no unauthorised employee can ever gain access again.

The style of work you describe makes you an employer, with all that entails. Not having handled this properly puts you on dodgy ground for any legal redress. Think you may have to write this off, and the friendship if she supports him.

You log in details and password should not be easily available to anyone, so this is your fault, and you wouldn't get it back from a bank. But technically he has stolen from you, so you could go to the police. Obviously do not ask him to do any more work for you!
I'm not sure there's much you can do to reclaim your money, unless you tell him you will be informing the police unless he pays back for the days he didn't actually do any work.
In future, never mix friends and business, learn to be more assertive, and never take on other people's problems.

This sounds crazy if he could find your passwords like that.

It's fraud by the way so you should go to the police.

Stop being mindful he is your friends boyfriend and handle it the way you should have done had anyone else done it

and sort out you paperwork process out

Have you changed your banking password yet? That's the first thing to do
Were invoicing and payments part of his job, if so then arguably he didn't steal the passwords but may have made payments without approval. If he was supposed to have no access but sought out access using stolen details then yes that is a clearly crime. Proving it may be difficult though. It sounds as though your business is not really set up to employ staff if you have no processes or safe guards in place to protect these details, where any customer details readily available too?

You keep saying you're happy you haven't had to have it out with him, no confrontation! You've left it a really long time. Even with lockdown you should have called him. You don't appear to be too bothered about it. He won't have the money now, he'll have spent it.

Keep your login details safe, don't employ him again, work on your assertiveness!!

He didn’t overcharge, he stole the money.

Sorry, I wasn’t suggesting I try to recoup the money he paid himself. Although I definitely don’t feel the amount of work completed was to that value and had I been given the invoices to authorise beforehand wouldn’t have authorised that value and Would have given opportunity for him to complete the work. My last manager had just completed notice Period and left the admin in a certain way and the background stresses of planning for Future of the business for my employed staff throughout and after Covid had distracted me. I take ownership for that and a misplaced trust.

My main question was regarding my friend. She’s seemingly taken the stance that I owe HIM money and has asked for a conversation. And Whereas I can be a “tell it exactly how it is whether it upsets you or not” person, I’ve actually done my best to say as little as I could til lockdown was lifted. Obviously I didn’t think it would last as long as it has!

If your friend wants to talk to you about money allegedly owed to him, then have that conversation. Go with someone else to back you up, and with a complete dossier of how he has defrauded you, and tell her you're expecting repayment from him.

You're a business woman, start acting like it!

Tell your friend exactly what you've said here. The absolute cheek of that man paying himself is mind boogling.

You sound very relaxed about the fact he accessed your bank account. Had you given him your details?

Tell her exactly.
If she feels you are being unfair, then she is too far down the rabbit hole of blind love for a loser for you to help.

If she has asked for a conversation, have a conversation and tell her what has happened

He’s a lazy and dishonest thief.

And you have been really really stupid to hire him in the first place and then give him access to your bank account.

Never EVER hire a mate / friend of a mate unless you are willing to treat them like a regular employee and you are prepared to have a permanent falling out with that mate if things don’t work out.

Never EVER give casual staff or anyone you don’t trust access to your financial details . You are lucky that all he has stolen is ( I think ) about £1000 of your money. He could have taken much more and also accessed your customers details in breach of GDPR. Which could cost you business, your reputation and large fine.

I assume you changed all your log in details and improved all security on the day you found all this out. And that you went over everything with a fine tooth comb to see what else he’s done. And you had all your IT checked as well? Charged alarm and any other security codes ? Changed the locks if he had a key?

About the money - I’d work out exactly how much he has taken, how much he is owed and the difference. Then contact him by email and tell him to return the money by x time / date as it was unauthorised and it’s theft. Otherwise you will go to the police.

Then keep your fingers crossed.

It’s not worth going to the police, they don’t have the resources to look at small frauds like this. I suspect your “friend “ knows that and will not return a penny but it’s worth a try.

Then put it down to experience and get your shit together at work, or you will lose your business.

Just show her this thread. You have probably lost the friendship, but it may stop her from telling other mutual friends that you have defrauded her boyfriend.

I think your just going to have to have the conversation. I don’t think your friendship will come out of this, but all you can be is honest and factual.
However not being factual isn’t going to save the friendship either.

Oh and I’d assume that you will lose her as friend. Whatever you tell her, she will believe her partner over you.

Tell her he’s very lucky you didn't call the police on him.

Why are you being so hesitant about this? You know full well he told her that you owe him money and are refusing to pay him.

So either explain to her that there has been some confusion as he had paid himself up front and the tally shows no money owing and happy to show the paperwork if it makes them both more comfortable, or loose the friend by not putting your side forward.

Text her a breakdown of what he worked with subtotal she and what he took.

Accessing accounts and moving funds is theft. A police issue or small claims court

The fact that your friend is even with a man like this means your conversation with her probably won't end up with her "seeing the light": she is invested in being blind to any problems.