Anxious about returning to work

[14July1992]

Hi all

I’m just wondering if i can get some help/opinions. I’m a dental nurse, I have a 17 month old and I’m pregnant with my second. I’ve been furloughed due to covid-19, but due to the governments surprise announcement, dental practices are now scrambling to get back to work. I have several concerns with this and wonder where I stand legally if I express a desire to remain furloughed.

My first issue is as far as I’m aware I am unable to use my mother as childcare as she doesn’t live in the same household as us. She’s not in a high risk group, but we are still supposed to be social distancing from her as with everyone else who doesn’t live with us. Clearly I can’t use her for childcare as there’s no way she would be able to stay 2 metres apart from my son all day.

Secondly, even if there is some loophole whereby I can use my mother for childcare, I’m not sure whether she or I would feel comfortable with this. My husband is a keyworker and works directly with people with covid-19. Dental nursing also has its risks, so we would both be bringing home germs to my mum and putting her at risk. She is 62 and lives alone, so I am very concerned about her health should she catch the virus.

I’m suffering from pregnancy sickness at the moment (it went on until well into my third trimester last time) and I don’t see how I’ll be able to be scrubbed up in full PPE, unable to breathe properly behind one of the new masks we will have to wear whilst nursing. It’s going to get hot, and god knows where I’ll vomit when I need to.

I just feel very anxious about all this, and I wonder if there’s a way that I can ask my employer to keep me furloughed for all these reasons. When I do speak to her I want to go in prepared, so any advice would be appreciated on how you would approach it. Thanks in advance x

Nannies, nurseries etc are aopening now so you could use those for your childcare issue.

You and your dh are both keyworkers so childcare should be available to you.

Pregnancy puts you in the vulnerable group rather than the shielding group, so you can return to work as long as they've done a risk assessment and taken the necessary steps to protect you.

Furlough is instead of redundancy. Your employer can't legally furlough you just because you don't want to work.

You could suggest unpaid leave or take sick leave if morning sickness is too debilitating.

I don't think you can remain furloughed if your job is available for you to do again. You would be better off speaking to your employer about risk assessment in the workplace to make sure that they have completed that appropriately.

Thanks all, my issue with paid childcare is that my wages would literally be gone if I hired a childminder/nursery. I’ve been very lucky so far to have my mum look after my little one for free. I think I will ask my boss about unpaid leave, or perhaps sick pay if the sickness continues and I am unable to do my job properly. After a little research I’ve found that I can ask to be in a non-patient-facing role. This would mean I wouldn’t have to be in full PPE, which would make working a whole lot more bearable. My boss is a very reasonable person so I’m sure she will do what she can to help.

Your employer can furlough you due to childcare issues yes. However that is not the same as you being entitled to be furloughed. It’s entirely up to them. So by all means ask if you can stay on furlough but if they don’t want to they don’t have to.

Having said that you should have access to childcare being a key worker, in which case they would probably be right to refuse to furlough you. If you’d prefer not to use childcare that in itself isn’t a reason to be furloughed.

That’s interesting, I was hoping that there would be a chance I could negotiate remaining on furlough due to childcare issues. The way I see it is that if I am literally making no money as my wages will be going on nursery fees, what is the point in me working. Like anyone else it doesn’t sit well with me taking money from the furlough scheme if I don’t have to, but until the R number drops I just don’t think I can in good conscience ask my mum to look after my son. It’s such a difficult situation for everyone, hopefully we will see the back of this horrible disease soon.

”The way I see it is that if I am literally making no money as my wages will be going on nursery fees, what is the point in me working.”

Fair point, but childcare being expensive isn’t the issue the furlough scheme is designed to solve.

Absolutely not, I agree. Like I say, it doesn’t sit well with me. Best case scenario my employer is flexible with the days I work so that I’m able to use my husband for childcare on the odd days that he is off. He works shifts so it’s difficult, but it’s an option.

You need to be put in a non patient facing role so you won't have to wear PPE.
Grandparents are allowed to be used as childcare, and if your mum is 62 then she's not in an at risk group providing she has no other underlying health conditions you didn't mention.

Really?? I had no idea grandparents could be used as childcare, that isn’t information I’ve managed to find. She doesn’t have any underlying issues so as long as it’s legal for her to look after him, I’m sure that she would. I could take him to her house instead of her coming to us to reduce the risk of her picking something up from us I imagine. I definitely feel more confident now about asking to be in a non patient facing role. I will do anything as long as I am free to run off and be sick when I need to be! I fainted in the surgery a few times when I was pregnant last, and that was wearing basic PPE. I’d be happy not to have to deal with that again.

Well childminders have gone back to work, and your mum is essentially your childminder (with the only difference being free I imagine). So as long as there's no other health concerns I think anyone would struggle to explain the difference?
But yes you shouldn't be in a patient facing role at all.
Good luck, OP!

That’s what has been confusing me, I can’t see a logical reason why it’s different, but I’ve heard such conflicting things. Thank you, im feeling more comfortable about it all now! Thanks everyone x

Have you name changed and are the OP, @toothfairy1991?

How does your mum feel about doing it?

Yes I changed my name, sorry I think that might have confused the thread. My mum would like to I think, but she’s a stickler for the rules and if she thought having my son was bending or breaking the rules then she wouldn’t do it. When we’ve spoken about it before another concern was her being in our house to look after him, because my husband comes home every day after working directly with people infected with the virus, so the risk of transmission is fairly high. We are careful but it’s still a worry. If I were to drop my son at her house however on the way to work, my husband and myself can keep our distance from her. I’ll have another chat with her and see if she feels comfortable with that.

Sorry but why should tax payers fund you because you don't want to pay for childcare? What would happen if you mum became ill in normal circumstances and couldn't look after your child any longer? You would have no choice but to use paid childcare or resign. Why should it be any different now? Covid is one circumstances but they are many others that could mean losing your free childcare and that's not your employer responsibity.

I didn’t say I didn’t want to pay for childcare. I said I couldn’t afford to pay for childcare. If we were in normal circumstances, I would work out an arrangement with friends that also have children where we juggle childcare on the days that we work. Lockdown has thrown all of us into a very difficult situation, and I started this thread to get information and ideas on how I can handle my current childcare difficulties without breaking the law. Now that I understand that I can use my mother for childcare, of course this is what I will do. If my mother wasn’t comfortable then I would have to quit my job. I wonder then if I’d face criticism for claiming benefits, which I have never done before but would possibly need to do to pay my mortgage and feed my child? Hmmmm.

"Now that I understand that I can use my mother for childcare, of course this is what I will do"

I don't think you can yet?

Bottom line is furlough is not for people who can't afford childcare, although of course there's nothing wrong with asking the question on here.

You can get assistance with childcare costs - universal credit if you are on a low to average income, or tax free childcare if a higher income.